My Ex telling me about a death in the family

[glynnroy]

Hi 

 

I’m sure you’ve come across this situation before , but I’m curious on everybody’s thoughts 

 

I was in relationship with a girl for about 2.5 years, but we broke up a year ago to the day 

 

The relationship ended partly because her ex-partner had recently been released from prison for drug driving. 

 

He needed supervised visits to see their kids and she had to supervise for him due to nobody being around or close to assist , and the stress of managing that, along with our relationship, became too much for her to handle. Even though I wanted to talk it through 

 

After the breakup, we still saw each other often at the gym, which made it difficult to move on 

 

We kept bumping into each other every other Friday, and it was awkward and talking about her exs issues and life got too much and last August, I decided to switch gyms entirely to avoid these encounters. Which obviously I should have done allot earlier to help the break up but you live and learn 

 

Since then, I’ve kept my distance

 

I haven’t initiated any conversations or texted her and starting moving on with my life in a positive way 

 

For the most part since I moved gyms ,our contact has been very minimal 

 

On my birthday in October, she sent me a message wishing me a happy birthday, and we exchanged a few polite texts. 

 

Then, at Christmas, she sent me a “Merry Christmas” message and mentioned that her grandmother had passed away three months earlier. 

 

We ended up texting back and forth a few times. During that conversation, she also mentioned that her ex had the kids for Christmas Day and said it felt weird not to have them with her.

 

I didn’t read too much into that at the time, but last week, she messaged me again. This time, she told me her granddad had passed away at the age of 94. 

 

She added that she wasn’t sure if I remembered meeting him, which I did (briefly, for about five minutes during our relationship). I replied civilly, offering my condolences and saying, “Let me know if I can help.”

 

So Why, after a year of being apart, is she still reaching out to tell me about personal things like this, baring in mind she’s her grandma died three more the earlier she only decided to let me know at Christmas, it’s quite a personal thing and because I’m not in her life any more it’s kind of puzzling why ?

 

I’ve made no effort to reconnect, and apart from these sporadic messages, we haven’t had any real conversations since the breakup.

 

Is she reaching out because she’s nostalgic, lonely, or just processing her grief and happens to include me in it? 

 

I don’t see why I’d be the person she chooses to share these things with, especially since I’m not a part of her life anymore.

 

My question is why she’s contacting me after all this time , I’m not going to text her or make any contact to rekindle ,

 

 

[basil67]

Perhaps she's lonely.  Perhaps she wants to stay in casual contact.  Perhaps she thinks you care.

I think the best option is to block her...or at least ignore her texts.  She'll get bored and move on