Anatomija Posted October 1, 2024 Posted October 1, 2024 I've been talking to this girl I've met online for around a month or so. We've been talking for a couple hours per day, sometimes one, sometimes 8+, (mostly over voice, but texting everyday as well) but for the last 2-3 weeks we've been talking everyday, now she's on a trip outside the country (so no voice talking obviously, + the time difference is pretty big), for the first few days we talked like normal, took her longer to respond than usual (makes sense, she's in another country + different timezone). But for the last 3 days she hasn't sent me a message which is a bit odd considering we've been talking everyday for a couple weeks now, I am a bit hesitant to text her since I was the last to send her a message (not a particularly lengthy one but still enough for her to respond?). I don't want to seem like I'm pressuring her or anything, should I wait or send her a message to check-in or what should I do, she's still on this trip for a week and it feels a bit like I'm losing her.
Georgia46 Posted October 1, 2024 Posted October 1, 2024 Sadly you don’t really know who people are online. I would not get too invested. wait until she comes back from her trip & see if she gets in touch.
Author Anatomija Posted October 1, 2024 Author Posted October 1, 2024 19 minutes ago, Gaeta said: Why you have mot met yet? I was gonna ask her last week but she had the trip, I'll ask her after her trip 12 minutes ago, Georgia46 said: Sadly you don’t really know who people are online. I would not get too invested. wait until she comes back from her trip & see if she gets in touch. She's not a complete stranger, a friend of a friend of a friend but yeah
Gaeta Posted October 1, 2024 Posted October 1, 2024 Just now, Anatomija said: I was gonna ask her last week but she had the trip, I'll ask her after her trip Why did you wait so long. People should meet within a week. Are you local or long distance?
Author Anatomija Posted October 1, 2024 Author Posted October 1, 2024 Just now, Gaeta said: Why did you wait so long. People should meet within a week. Are you local or long distance? Local. Because we haven't met on a dating app or anything along those lines, I didn't have any interest in her till a month or so ago, when the talking stage started.
Author Anatomija Posted October 1, 2024 Author Posted October 1, 2024 (edited) 1 minute ago, Georgia46 said: Ah right ok you already know who she is Yeah, I'd say so Edited October 1, 2024 by Anatomija
Georgia46 Posted October 1, 2024 Posted October 1, 2024 (edited) 29 minutes ago, Gaeta said: Why you have mot met yet? How long do you think you should talk to a person online without really knowing who they are? Or knowing who they are but no meet up? Edited October 1, 2024 by Georgia46
Gaeta Posted October 1, 2024 Posted October 1, 2024 8 minutes ago, Georgia46 said: How long do you think you should talk to a person online without really knowing who they are? Or knowing who they are but no meet up? It is better to meet a person asap. Longer we chat then bigger expectations we create in our head. We start thinking this person is wonderful, we have so much in common, we connect, but this is all 'virtual'. It doesn't mean we will have the same chemistry in person. Him and her chat every day, sometimes 8 hours a day! and they're local! meaning they could grab a coffee on their way out of the office any day of the week. Nothing complicated. 1
Georgia46 Posted October 1, 2024 Posted October 1, 2024 Just now, Gaeta said: It is better to meet a person asap. Longer we chat then bigger expectations we create in our head. We start thinking this person is wonderful, we have so much in common, we connect, but this is all 'virtual'. It doesn't mean we will have the same chemistry in person. Him and her chat every day, sometimes 8 hours a day! and they're local! meaning they could grab a coffee on their way out of the office any day of the week. Nothing complicated. Thats what I was thinking. I mean it’s easy to type but it’s probably better to actually meet up to see if there is a proper connection.
Alpacalia Posted October 1, 2024 Posted October 1, 2024 She probably grew wary of chatting and felt you weren't making an effort to meet offline and lost interest. Like you said, you didn't have an interest in her until a month ago.
Author Anatomija Posted October 1, 2024 Author Posted October 1, 2024 2 minutes ago, Alpacalia said: She probably grew wary of chatting and felt you weren't making an effort to meet offline and lost interest. Like you said, you didn't have an interest in her until a month ago. Well it felt a bit too sudden, a day before this she was messaging me a few times away, didn't drift gradually, just happened at once. 6 minutes ago, Gaeta said: It is better to meet a person asap. Longer we chat then bigger expectations we create in our head. We start thinking this person is wonderful, we have so much in common, we connect, but this is all 'virtual'. It doesn't mean we will have the same chemistry in person. Him and her chat every day, sometimes 8 hours a day! and they're local! meaning they could grab a coffee on their way out of the office any day of the week. Nothing complicated. I agree with you, that's why I plan on asking as soon as she gets back (if we'll still keep in touch I guess)
Gaeta Posted October 1, 2024 Posted October 1, 2024 She is travelling far, who knows maybe she doesn't have network at this time. Don't double text her, you're not a couple. Wait till she returns.
Author Anatomija Posted October 1, 2024 Author Posted October 1, 2024 Just now, Gaeta said: She is travelling far, who knows maybe she doesn't have network at this time. Don't double text her, you're not a couple. Wait till she returns. She returns in a week, should I wait till then or message her before that?
Alpacalia Posted October 1, 2024 Posted October 1, 2024 (edited) I would message her that you're looking forward to when she gets back and to have a nice trip. Nothing more. Then follow it up with an invite to meet up after that once she returns. You have nothing to lose at this point. Otherwise it's most likely just going to fizzle. Edited October 1, 2024 by Alpacalia 1
Gaeta Posted October 1, 2024 Posted October 1, 2024 15 minutes ago, Anatomija said: She returns in a week, should I wait till then or message her before that? Do as Alpacalia is suggesting. It's a great advice. 1
ShyViolet Posted October 1, 2024 Posted October 1, 2024 Maybe she realized that it's a waste of time to spend hours and hours a day talking to someone who you aren't meeting up with in person. Either meet up in person or stop talking.... the 8 hours a day of phone calls and texting is ridiculous.
Leihla_B Posted October 1, 2024 Posted October 1, 2024 (edited) One problem with electronic 'relationships' is measuring everything about that person, including their interest level in you (who they don't even know) based on their abilities at any given time to feed whatever fantasy you've built 'around' them. That's not getting to know a person. It's forming an ideal in your own head that they may not live up to In Real Life. Don't work backwards. Interest based on NOT meeting someone is worthless. You can only know who you're dealing with in person. Invite anyone LOCAL for a quick cup of coffee to check one another out--right away. So now you're left wondering about her contact while she's on a trip, and you want to overthink that? She doesn't know you, you don't know her. When she's home, invite her for a simple drink or coffee--not a big 'date'--and discover whether you're investing all this time in someone who actually inspires you. Head high, we all learn from living. Edited October 1, 2024 by Leihla_B
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