Anatomija Posted Tuesday at 04:14 PM Share Posted Tuesday at 04:14 PM I've been talking to this girl I've met online for around a month or so. We've been talking for a couple hours per day, sometimes one, sometimes 8+, (mostly over voice, but texting everyday as well) but for the last 2-3 weeks we've been talking everyday, now she's on a trip outside the country (so no voice talking obviously, + the time difference is pretty big), for the first few days we talked like normal, took her longer to respond than usual (makes sense, she's in another country + different timezone). But for the last 3 days she hasn't sent me a message which is a bit odd considering we've been talking everyday for a couple weeks now, I am a bit hesitant to text her since I was the last to send her a message (not a particularly lengthy one but still enough for her to respond?). I don't want to seem like I'm pressuring her or anything, should I wait or send her a message to check-in or what should I do, she's still on this trip for a week and it feels a bit like I'm losing her. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted Tuesday at 04:40 PM Share Posted Tuesday at 04:40 PM Why you have mot met yet? 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Georgia46 Posted Tuesday at 04:48 PM Share Posted Tuesday at 04:48 PM Sadly you don’t really know who people are online. I would not get too invested. wait until she comes back from her trip & see if she gets in touch. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Author Anatomija Posted Tuesday at 05:02 PM Author Share Posted Tuesday at 05:02 PM 19 minutes ago, Gaeta said: Why you have mot met yet? I was gonna ask her last week but she had the trip, I'll ask her after her trip 12 minutes ago, Georgia46 said: Sadly you don’t really know who people are online. I would not get too invested. wait until she comes back from her trip & see if she gets in touch. She's not a complete stranger, a friend of a friend of a friend but yeah Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted Tuesday at 05:04 PM Share Posted Tuesday at 05:04 PM Just now, Anatomija said: I was gonna ask her last week but she had the trip, I'll ask her after her trip Why did you wait so long. People should meet within a week. Are you local or long distance? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Author Anatomija Posted Tuesday at 05:05 PM Author Share Posted Tuesday at 05:05 PM Just now, Gaeta said: Why did you wait so long. People should meet within a week. Are you local or long distance? Local. Because we haven't met on a dating app or anything along those lines, I didn't have any interest in her till a month or so ago, when the talking stage started. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Georgia46 Posted Tuesday at 05:07 PM Share Posted Tuesday at 05:07 PM Ah right ok you already know who she is 😎😎 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Author Anatomija Posted Tuesday at 05:08 PM Author Share Posted Tuesday at 05:08 PM (edited) 1 minute ago, Georgia46 said: Ah right ok you already know who she is 😎😎 Yeah, I'd say so Edited Tuesday at 05:08 PM by Anatomija Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Georgia46 Posted Tuesday at 05:09 PM Share Posted Tuesday at 05:09 PM (edited) 29 minutes ago, Gaeta said: Why you have mot met yet? How long do you think you should talk to a person online without really knowing who they are? Or knowing who they are but no meet up? Edited Tuesday at 05:10 PM by Georgia46 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted Tuesday at 05:23 PM Share Posted Tuesday at 05:23 PM 8 minutes ago, Georgia46 said: How long do you think you should talk to a person online without really knowing who they are? Or knowing who they are but no meet up? It is better to meet a person asap. Longer we chat then bigger expectations we create in our head. We start thinking this person is wonderful, we have so much in common, we connect, but this is all 'virtual'. It doesn't mean we will have the same chemistry in person. Him and her chat every day, sometimes 8 hours a day! and they're local! meaning they could grab a coffee on their way out of the office any day of the week. Nothing complicated. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Georgia46 Posted Tuesday at 05:25 PM Share Posted Tuesday at 05:25 PM Just now, Gaeta said: It is better to meet a person asap. Longer we chat then bigger expectations we create in our head. We start thinking this person is wonderful, we have so much in common, we connect, but this is all 'virtual'. It doesn't mean we will have the same chemistry in person. Him and her chat every day, sometimes 8 hours a day! and they're local! meaning they could grab a coffee on their way out of the office any day of the week. Nothing complicated. Thats what I was thinking. I mean it’s easy to type but it’s probably better to actually meet up to see if there is a proper connection. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Alpacalia Posted Tuesday at 05:27 PM Share Posted Tuesday at 05:27 PM She probably grew wary of chatting and felt you weren't making an effort to meet offline and lost interest. Like you said, you didn't have an interest in her until a month ago. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Author Anatomija Posted Tuesday at 05:30 PM Author Share Posted Tuesday at 05:30 PM 2 minutes ago, Alpacalia said: She probably grew wary of chatting and felt you weren't making an effort to meet offline and lost interest. Like you said, you didn't have an interest in her until a month ago. Well it felt a bit too sudden, a day before this she was messaging me a few times away, didn't drift gradually, just happened at once. 6 minutes ago, Gaeta said: It is better to meet a person asap. Longer we chat then bigger expectations we create in our head. We start thinking this person is wonderful, we have so much in common, we connect, but this is all 'virtual'. It doesn't mean we will have the same chemistry in person. Him and her chat every day, sometimes 8 hours a day! and they're local! meaning they could grab a coffee on their way out of the office any day of the week. Nothing complicated. I agree with you, that's why I plan on asking as soon as she gets back (if we'll still keep in touch I guess) Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted Tuesday at 05:42 PM Share Posted Tuesday at 05:42 PM She is travelling far, who knows maybe she doesn't have network at this time. Don't double text her, you're not a couple. Wait till she returns. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Author Anatomija Posted Tuesday at 05:43 PM Author Share Posted Tuesday at 05:43 PM Just now, Gaeta said: She is travelling far, who knows maybe she doesn't have network at this time. Don't double text her, you're not a couple. Wait till she returns. She returns in a week, should I wait till then or message her before that? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Alpacalia Posted Tuesday at 05:53 PM Share Posted Tuesday at 05:53 PM (edited) I would message her that you're looking forward to when she gets back and to have a nice trip. Nothing more. Then follow it up with an invite to meet up after that once she returns. You have nothing to lose at this point. Otherwise it's most likely just going to fizzle. Edited Tuesday at 05:53 PM by Alpacalia 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted Tuesday at 06:00 PM Share Posted Tuesday at 06:00 PM 15 minutes ago, Anatomija said: She returns in a week, should I wait till then or message her before that? Do as Alpacalia is suggesting. It's a great advice. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ShyViolet Posted Tuesday at 06:04 PM Share Posted Tuesday at 06:04 PM Maybe she realized that it's a waste of time to spend hours and hours a day talking to someone who you aren't meeting up with in person. Either meet up in person or stop talking.... the 8 hours a day of phone calls and texting is ridiculous. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Leihla_B Posted Tuesday at 07:58 PM Share Posted Tuesday at 07:58 PM (edited) One problem with electronic 'relationships' is measuring everything about that person, including their interest level in you (who they don't even know) based on their abilities at any given time to feed whatever fantasy you've built 'around' them. That's not getting to know a person. It's forming an ideal in your own head that they may not live up to In Real Life. Don't work backwards. Interest based on NOT meeting someone is worthless. You can only know who you're dealing with in person. Invite anyone LOCAL for a quick cup of coffee to check one another out--right away. So now you're left wondering about her contact while she's on a trip, and you want to overthink that? She doesn't know you, you don't know her. When she's home, invite her for a simple drink or coffee--not a big 'date'--and discover whether you're investing all this time in someone who actually inspires you. Head high, we all learn from living. Edited Tuesday at 08:01 PM by Leihla_B Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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