Gebidozo Posted September 27 Share Posted September 27 8 hours ago, ann248 said: Yep, I need to work on respecting myself a bit more. He couldn’t get an Asian girl (he told me that) and I was the “last option” and since I lived in Asia, I was kind of a “temporary replacement” Why did you date such a pathetic guy in the first place? Link to post Share on other sites
Leihla_B Posted September 27 Share Posted September 27 9 hours ago, ann248 said: ... He couldn’t get an Asian girl (he told me that) and I was the “last option” and since I lived in Asia, I was kind of a “temporary replacement” Eww... He sounds like a chump. I'd be happy he's gone. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
NuevoYorko Posted September 27 Share Posted September 27 11 hours ago, ann248 said: My ex was always calling me those words that men would usually call Asian women. Like “petite”, “cute” , “adorable” and I felt happy about it until I realized it’s just his yellow fever (I lived in China for a long time and could speak Chinese) and I’m interesting to him only because he projects his “Asian dreams” on me. That’s why i always felt like I’m completely unlovable because of my race and I’m just a projection of his weird fetish. This is very unlikely. If that guy was so obsessed with Asian women, he would be dating Asian women. Not projecting "yellow fever" onto a white woman. Your relationship diid not work out. Maybe the guy is attracted to Asian women, but it's not because "most men prefer Asian women". Link to post Share on other sites
Author ann248 Posted September 27 Author Share Posted September 27 6 hours ago, Gebidozo said: Why did you date such a pathetic guy in the first place? He was the only one that was serious about building a relationship with me and I thought I can’t get anyone Link to post Share on other sites
Author ann248 Posted September 27 Author Share Posted September 27 3 hours ago, NuevoYorko said: This is very unlikely. If that guy was so obsessed with Asian women, he would be dating Asian women. Not projecting "yellow fever" onto a white woman. Your relationship diid not work out. Maybe the guy is attracted to Asian women, but it's not because "most men prefer Asian women". Hopefully I’ll find someone who wouldn’t be attracted to them Link to post Share on other sites
Author ann248 Posted September 27 Author Share Posted September 27 15 hours ago, Gaeta said: Are you of slavic heritage? Well, you will find an equal amount of men that would walk through fire to date a slavic woman. Yeah I am Link to post Share on other sites
Gebidozo Posted September 27 Share Posted September 27 1 hour ago, ann248 said: He was the only one that was serious about building a relationship with me and I thought I can’t get anyone Please never think like this, it’s humiliating for you and it will never make you happy. You might be projecting your readiness to settle for unsuitable partners, and that, precisely, attracts unsuitable partners, i.e. guys who’d prefer someone else but can’t get them so they settle for you. The moment you understand that it’s better to be alone than with an unsuitable partner you’ll begin to feel more confident and will start attracting more suitable men. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Gebidozo Posted September 27 Share Posted September 27 (edited) 1 hour ago, ann248 said: Hopefully I’ll find someone who wouldn’t be attracted to them This is such a strange way to phrase it. You should find someone who is attracted to you. Whatever races or body types or hair color or breast shapes or whatever else he’d usually prefer is absolutely irrelevant. Edited September 27 by Gebidozo 1 Link to post Share on other sites
NuevoYorko Posted September 27 Share Posted September 27 4 hours ago, ann248 said: Hopefully I’ll find someone who wouldn’t be attracted to them You will not be successful as long as you remain hung up on what you think "most guys" are attracted to. You will need to be able to get to know a man and let them get to know you and find out whether or not you will be a good fit. Most people we meet are NOT going to be a good fit and it's not because they are obsessed with an entire race of people. Also I have to say that your attitude has an aspect of racism in it. You are generalizing Asian women and speak very negatively about them and Asian culture(s) across the board. This is not an attractive quality. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
NuevoYorko Posted September 27 Share Posted September 27 4 hours ago, ann248 said: He was the only one that was serious about building a relationship with me and I thought I can’t get anyone This is 100% a recipe for failure. Again, not because of Asian women, but because of the attitude and ideas you're carrying with you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author ann248 Posted September 28 Author Share Posted September 28 18 hours ago, NuevoYorko said: You will not be successful as long as you remain hung up on what you think "most guys" are attracted to. You will need to be able to get to know a man and let them get to know you and find out whether or not you will be a good fit. Most people we meet are NOT going to be a good fit and it's not because they are obsessed with an entire race of people. Also I have to say that your attitude has an aspect of racism in it. You are generalizing Asian women and speak very negatively about them and Asian culture(s) across the board. This is not an attractive quality. I just don’t believe I can be loved Link to post Share on other sites
Author ann248 Posted September 28 Author Share Posted September 28 19 hours ago, NuevoYorko said: This is 100% a recipe for failure. Again, not because of Asian women, but because of the attitude and ideas you're carrying with you. It’s probably just a bad coincidence but every time I try to build a relationship with someone, they lead me on , take care of me, express love, and suddenly meet another woman (almost always Asian) and dump me like I never existed. I thought this guy would be different and he loves me, but nope, the reality is that there’s always “the other girl” who would always be a reason for my love life to be destroyed Link to post Share on other sites
NuevoYorko Posted September 28 Share Posted September 28 Most relationships do not result in "forever;" they come to an end. Also people change, or change their minds. If you're not resilient enough to deal with this then you are not ready to put yourself out there for a relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
Gebidozo Posted September 28 Share Posted September 28 6 hours ago, ann248 said: I just don’t believe I can be loved If this is truly how you feel, please take a break from dating and romance altogether and learn to love and appreciate yourself without needing other people to validate you. You aren’t ready to be in a relationship with this kind of attitude. Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted September 28 Share Posted September 28 6 hours ago, ann248 said: and suddenly meet another woman (almost always Asian) and dump me like I never existed. Where do you live that these Asian women are popping up left and right?] Link to post Share on other sites
Author ann248 Posted September 30 Author Share Posted September 30 On 9/28/2024 at 4:10 PM, Gaeta said: Where do you live that these Asian women are popping up left and right?] China Link to post Share on other sites
Author ann248 Posted September 30 Author Share Posted September 30 On 9/28/2024 at 2:32 PM, Gebidozo said: If this is truly how you feel, please take a break from dating and romance altogether and learn to love and appreciate yourself without needing other people to validate you. You aren’t ready to be in a relationship with this kind of attitude. Yeah I need to work on improving self esteem 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted September 30 Share Posted September 30 37 minutes ago, ann248 said: China Ok so you're a non-asian woman living in china and you're dating non-asian men but 2 times men left you to date asian women. Am l getting this right? Link to post Share on other sites
Author ann248 Posted September 30 Author Share Posted September 30 (edited) 11 minutes ago, Gaeta said: Ok so you're a non-asian woman living in china and you're dating non-asian men but 2 times men left you to date asian women. Am l getting this right? Not just 2 times, always. Every dating attempt ended like that. This was my first and only relationship. People my age dated much more. And the only one that agreed to date me because he couldn’t find anyone else, started hating me out of nowhere and got irritated with everything I do, and dumped me after 6 months of relationship where we planned to move in together and the reason for dumping was that I’m being jealous of his interactions with other females and him being aggressive, secretive and defensive about it, even when there was never a reason for that. They were just friends. Every time I tried to explain myself that I’m not the fan of Asia as he is, he gave me silent treatment and literally said the word “bye” in our conversation. If I say “this hurts me please don’t do that” he would say “don’t play the victim”. All of that s*** started after 5 months of relationship, when he was loving me and genuinely caring about me. But he was always obsessed with Chinese women and every time I was always treated badly or insulted by Chinese women , he would always take their side and never protect me. I don’t understand what is the reason for me to be so unlovable that even the person who loved me just started being disrespectful after few months of our relationship and act like I’m the most irritating object Edited September 30 by ann248 Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted September 30 Share Posted September 30 When are you moving back home? Link to post Share on other sites
Author ann248 Posted September 30 Author Share Posted September 30 3 minutes ago, Gaeta said: When are you moving back home? I’m already home, I lived in Thailand after China. I didn’t want to go back home to my country because of political reasons. But after we broke up I live a normal life and my mom wanted me back home Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted September 30 Share Posted September 30 And home is a scandinavian country? So now you're afraid to go back to dating because of those bad experiences? I'm reading asian represant about 9% of population in scandinavian countries. I doubt all scandinavian men dream of dating an asian woman. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ann248 Posted September 30 Author Share Posted September 30 2 hours ago, Gaeta said: And home is a scandinavian country? So now you're afraid to go back to dating because of those bad experiences? I'm reading asian represant about 9% of population in scandinavian countries. I doubt all scandinavian men dream of dating an asian woman. Nope, home country is Russia, unfortunately. I really can’t believe that I can be loved, because I don’t have any single example in my life when i wouldn’t be left and dumped. In my home country I am considered a leftover due to my age and appearance (short and looking like a kid/teenager) and lack of “femme fatale” traits. It feels scary to date because I already know what the result is going to be, and I feel like I can’t ever love as much as I loved my ex. And also I got completely numb and depressed (sometimes even suicidal) due to constant loneliness and the feeling of being always worse than everyone and being left behind, never chosen. Maybe it’s just an assumption based on what I heard from men from different countries, but I feel like most men would call Russian women prostitutes and gold diggers and would not consider them for a serious relationship, just for ONS Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted September 30 Share Posted September 30 4 hours ago, ann248 said: China A few posts back @Gaeta asked "So now do you live in a western country?" and you replied "yes". But now you say you live in China I don't know if you're making this up, but if you actually do live in China, then move to the western nation which you said you live in Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted September 30 Share Posted September 30 22 minutes ago, basil67 said: A few posts back @Gaeta asked "So now do you live in a western country?" and you replied "yes". But now you say you live in China I don't know if you're making this up, but if you actually do live in China, then move to the western nation which you said you live in And if you do live in China, then it's statistically accurate that the next girlfriend a guy has will be Chinese. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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