Reasons to end it

[FWIW]

"Enlightened Thinking"=Me, Me, Me.....

 

Not really, I apply that to marriage in general, not just mine.

 

Noone's fault, but your own.

 

Yes, I fully admit it. Though I'm far from leaving my marriage, I know I wasn't in a fit state of mind to decide my future back then, I was very low in self-esteem on the rebound from a prior relationship, and I was very much pressured into going along with the marriage because my partner was... well.. I don't want to go into detail, but I would have had just as much of a hard time backing out BEFORE taking the vows as afterwards. What's done is done. I simply consider myself a victim of circumstance and my own weakness to bail out at the time, or since.

 

From a religious point of view my own beliefs seem to be slightly different to yours though. Seeing as you've made over 3000 postings here that are probably all in a similar vein (excuse me if I don't read them all, to check) I realise I stand very little chance of getting you to see my point of view. I consider God to be a forgiving God who accepts our weak human failings. Much as I'd forgive MY child for meaning well but getting something wrong, I like to believe that God would be happy enough if someone MEANT WELL and did their best at the time they took their vows, but if they realise it was all a horrible mistake years later I would certainly hope He'd help His child realise their error and support their decision to divorce if they believed in their heart that it was the only sensible choice (I'm not saying this is ALWAYS the case for all marriages that hit a sticky patch, just ones that were doomed from the start).

 

Besides, if God is as omnipotent as we believe He is, He'd have known what was going to happen later anyway, when the marriage breaks down, so how disappointed can He be? Hardly a surprise for Him, is it?! No, the God I believe in is there for guidance (to help us take the right path) and for comfort (when things go wrong, as they will regardless of our belief), not to lay down rules that must be blindly and inflexibly followed against one's better instincts, leading to a miserable existance - especially if there is an alternative that offers more hope. Sorry, but if we are to accept that the Bible is purely the Word of God with no rubbish included by evildoers (i.e. He'd intervene to make sure it was all correct) then I'm sure He'd have intervened by now if divorce was really something He doesn't allow. I don't really believe the Hand of God ever magically appears to prevent catastrophes (i.e. tsunami disasters, earthquakes and massive hurricanes, etc) - if He decides to actually change the course of events here on earth it's done in the old 'mysterious ways' - non-provable, to keep Faith necessary. All sorts of nasty stuff is going on the world that 'could' be stopped by direct Heavenly Intervention but (as agnostics take delight in pointing out) He never does - this doesn't change MY belief because I know that human society is oftern to blame for a lot of the world's suffering because we're often all too busy fighting each other and looking out for #1 instead of helping each other and solving the world's problems. It's up to us, it's OUR challenge, to help each other - we should blame our failings collectively instead of God.

 

Wow, why did I end up going off on one about beliefs?! Ah yes, because mine don't agree with yours. Funny old world, isn't it?

 

Finally, haven't you ever heard people lamely joke along the lines of "Yes we've been married for 34 years, you'd get less for murder, haha" ?