Kileyallen Posted June 28 Share Posted June 28 I have a close friend and she did some investigating on a guy she’s seeing. She’s worried because she is starting to get serious with this guy. She found out some information but she doesn’t know if it’s harmless or some deeper meaning behind it ? the guy follows his ex on social media. (She the ex)recently posted a selfie and he liked it. Then he posted a picture of himself to his instagram story and there’s a little heart button were you can like it…. And she liked it? She then posted a selfie to her story and he liked it back? She then texted him telling me “I miss you” and he said “I might miss you a little bit too” is this man just trying to be nice and cordial? Or does this seem like there’s a deep meaning to it? Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted June 28 Share Posted June 28 (edited) The silly love hearts don't necessarily anything, but what they texted is very clear: they are not over each other. I'm assuming that your friend's boyfriend didn't show her the texts, so she's been spying in his phone. So it looks like there's no trust left at all. She may as well just end it Edited June 28 by basil67 Link to post Share on other sites
NuevoYorko Posted June 28 Share Posted June 28 If she's "serious" with the guy then of course she needs to speak to him about this situation. Instead, you are posting on a site full of strangers on her behalf. Are you guys 12? Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted June 28 Share Posted June 28 It's very clear they have unfinished business. This friend better dump this chump...he ain't ready for something serious. Link to post Share on other sites
Alpacalia Posted June 28 Share Posted June 28 Is this about the man you've posted about before? What does he want from me ? - Dating - LoveShack.org 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kileyallen Posted June 28 Author Share Posted June 28 55 minutes ago, Alpacalia said: Is this about the man you've posted about before? What does he want from me ? - Dating - LoveShack.org No this isn’t about him I’m in a relationship now. This is about my friend Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted June 28 Share Posted June 28 12 minutes ago, Kileyallen said: No this isn’t about him I’m in a relationship now. This is about my friend What advice did you give your friend about this action? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kileyallen Posted June 28 Author Share Posted June 28 3 minutes ago, stillafool said: What advice did you give your friend about this action? I told her it was a red flag. She told me it was friendly and she thinks he liked her pictures to be cordial. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kileyallen Posted June 28 Author Share Posted June 28 She Thinks that he responded saying “I might miss you too a little bit” was him being nice ? Link to post Share on other sites
NuevoYorko Posted June 28 Share Posted June 28 Are these people actually dating in real life or is this all over messaging / text? Are the people involved adults or teenagers? Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted June 28 Share Posted June 28 10 hours ago, basil67 said: The silly love hearts don't necessarily anything, but what they texted is very clear: they are not over each other. Exactly what I was going to say… Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted June 28 Share Posted June 28 23 minutes ago, Kileyallen said: She thinks he liked her pictures to be cordial. Very likely true. But one does not text an ex “I still miss you…” to be cordial. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kileyallen Posted June 28 Author Share Posted June 28 5 minutes ago, BaileyB said: Very likely true. But one does not text an ex “I still miss you…” to be cordial. The ex is the one that sent a txt saying “I miss you” first. He responded saying “I might miss you a little bit too”. my friend thinks he only responded to be nice. She thinks that the fact that he said “might” and a “little” doesn’t mean anything. Link to post Share on other sites
Gebidozo Posted June 28 Share Posted June 28 8 minutes ago, Kileyallen said: The ex is the one that sent a txt saying “I miss you” first. He responded saying “I might miss you a little bit too”. my friend thinks he only responded to be nice. She thinks that the fact that he said “might” and a “little” doesn’t mean anything. If it didn’t mean anything, he shouldn’t have said it. If it meant exactly what he said, he still shouldn’t have said it. Personally, I think missing an ex “a little bit” is normal and I wouldn’t make a big fuss over that. Telling an ex about it is, in my opinion, a faux pas. I think the BF in question should apologize and promise not to step out of line like this again. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mark clemson Posted June 28 Share Posted June 28 47 minutes ago, Kileyallen said: my friend thinks he only responded to be nice. She thinks that the fact that he said “might” and a “little” doesn’t mean anything. The text certainly suggests that there might be feelings still. The situation is ambiguous and it's hard to get full context from forum posts, BUT if it were me, I think I'd be advising a friend to not disregard this, but instead re-confirm that the old relationship is truly over and perhaps ask that he not follow the Ex anymore or certainly not chat with them. It's not unreasonable to ask that people stop most contact with Ex's if they want a relationship. They can find new folks to be friends with where there isn't a romantic history. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kileyallen Posted June 28 Author Share Posted June 28 Guys … it got bad (update) so after the whole miss you text thing… she texted asking him “wanna kiss” I guess it was like a flirty text cause he said he misses her back a little. he responded saying “I’m not very good but I can try” She responded with saying “maybe we can teach each other soon” he said “yea” keep in mind he is in his 20s and I believe his ex is on hers yes I’m pretty sure they’ve been inmate several times together their adults with experience. This was a teasing back in forth. My friend still thinks it’s harmless. Yet I told her if you had to go through phones that means your gut was telling you something. Idk maybe I should stay out of it and let her find out herself. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Alpacalia Posted June 28 Share Posted June 28 (edited) I wouldn't read too much into "I miss you." It's not about missing the other. Sounds like wanting round 2. These are ex flings, right? Granted, not cool to be texting those things when you're dating someone. Edited June 28 by Alpacalia Link to post Share on other sites
introverted1 Posted June 28 Share Posted June 28 Your friend has her head in the sand. The exes are definitely considering rekindling whatever they had... or at least considering hooking up. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
mark clemson Posted June 28 Share Posted June 28 ^^ what @introverted1 said... Weird that your friend wouldn't have a problem with that. This isn't another "infidelity fan-fiction" post is it?? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Alpacalia Posted June 28 Share Posted June 28 2 hours ago, mark clemson said: ^^ what @introverted1 said... Weird that your friend wouldn't have a problem with that. This isn't another "infidelity fan-fiction" post is it?? I had a feeling OP was posting because of her ex-situationship. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Gebidozo Posted June 29 Share Posted June 29 6 hours ago, Kileyallen said: she texted asking him “wanna kiss” I guess it was like a flirty text No way! “Wanna kiss” is flirty? Naaah… She probably meant “kiss on the cheek”. Like, in a totally innocent way. Like a cultural greeting or something. And she offered to teach him, too! It must be just a friendly, professional exchange between a teacher and a student preparing for anthropology finals. 6 hours ago, Kileyallen said: keep in mind he is in his 20s Sounds more like they were born in 2020’s. 6 hours ago, Kileyallen said: Yet I told her if you had to go through phones that means your gut was telling you something. Well, that rather means that your friend behaves like an insecure teenager. But then again, the whole story smells of high school. Link to post Share on other sites
NuevoYorko Posted June 29 Share Posted June 29 Obviously the friend seems to be fine with all of it. Not everyone needs to be monogamous you know, especially when we are probably dealing with people who are not even meeting up in real life but just having these soap operas over their devices. As long as she thinks it's harmless, it's actually harmless. She is not feeling hurt. To each his or her own. Link to post Share on other sites
mark clemson Posted June 29 Share Posted June 29 @NuevoYorko you have a point. Maybe the friend considers it too early to expect loyalty, or doesn't care about "remote" flirtation or feels the ex is too distant to be a "threat". Maybe she considers them to be multidating and does similar things herself, etc, etc. There are all sorts of permutations of romantic relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted June 29 Share Posted June 29 Your friend somehow saw this private conversation, remembered every word, reported it verbatim to you, and you are reporting it verbatim here? Interesting how that works. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted June 29 Share Posted June 29 On 6/28/2024 at 11:46 AM, Kileyallen said: Idk maybe I should stay out of it and let her find out herself. That’s a good plan. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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