basil67 Posted July 19 Share Posted July 19 To be clear, I've been in the situation where I left because I felt hard done by. But in hindsight, I can see why some things I did would have annoyed him, just as he really annoyed me too. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author doingtherightthing Posted July 19 Author Share Posted July 19 1 minute ago, basil67 said: More likely, the boss portrayed you in a different light. For example, it's not your place to confront your boss about what you see as inappropriate behaviour with a client. You overstepped your mark big time. Between this and the comment about your ego, it sounds like he had his quibbles with you too Makes sense. I’m sure he’s done this before as he’s been preparing in case I said something. Either way, I’m moving on and I did my best navigating this chaotic situation. So glad that I’m out of there. When sh’t hits the fan, I’ll be watching the news or hearing it from the people’s mouth at some point, I’m sure. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
happyhorizons Posted July 19 Share Posted July 19 5 minutes ago, doingtherightthing said: That makes sense. At some point when confronting my boss about seemingly inappropriate behavior with the client, he kept referring back to the time when I confronted him. The way he worded it was as I was coming onto him! I said I never came onto you. I thought it was crazy how he tried to flip it. I think, as soon as I confronted him, the boss, flipped it and told people ( perhaps when the President) that I was “coming” onto him. This is wild! Exactly, he TRIED to flip the narrative. He's a creep. His actions are just not appropriate and when you did NOT accept his advances he went on the defensive. There is just no scenario when it is OK for a man to make a lady feel uncomfortable like he did you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
happyhorizons Posted July 19 Share Posted July 19 4 minutes ago, basil67 said: More likely, the boss portrayed you in a different light. For example, it's not your place to confront your boss about what you see as inappropriate behaviour with a client. You overstepped your mark big time. Between this and the comment about your ego, it sounds like he had his quibbles with you too Of course, he portrayed HER DIFFERENTLY. He LIED about the OP. She is so much better off by being out of that toxic environment. Link to post Share on other sites
Author doingtherightthing Posted July 19 Author Share Posted July 19 2 minutes ago, happyhorizons said: Of course, he portrayed HER DIFFERENTLY. He LIED about the OP. She is so much better off by being out of that toxic environment. I am glad that’s behind me. It seemed that he probably told the president that I accused him with “sleeping” with the client and probably made it seem that I was “ jealous” or something. I am soo ready to move on! Link to post Share on other sites
happyhorizons Posted July 19 Share Posted July 19 1 minute ago, doingtherightthing said: I am glad that’s behind me. It seemed that he probably told the president that I accused him with “sleeping” with the client and probably made it seem that I was “ jealous” or something. I am soo ready to move on! I think you are right. He treated you with very dignity or respect. AND YOU DESERVE BOTH. Link to post Share on other sites
Author doingtherightthing Posted July 19 Author Share Posted July 19 10 minutes ago, happyhorizons said: I think you are right. He treated you with very dignity or respect. AND YOU DESERVE BOTH. There’s no way he’ll accuse me of defamation ? Right? Link to post Share on other sites
happyhorizons Posted July 19 Share Posted July 19 4 minutes ago, doingtherightthing said: There’s no way he’ll accuse me of defamation ? Right? You simply told your factual account of what you experienced. I bet your ex-boss wants this to blow over as fast as possible. There is another angle to this but probably not appropriate to say. Link to post Share on other sites
Author doingtherightthing Posted July 19 Author Share Posted July 19 2 minutes ago, happyhorizons said: You simply told your factual account of what you experienced. I bet your ex-boss wants this to blow over as fast as possible. There is another angle to this but probably not appropriate to say. What’s another angle? Please share. Are you saying that , now that’s I’m not an employee , he feels/felt he can still try it with me without “abusing” his power and reel me into an affair that way? Link to post Share on other sites
Alpacalia Posted July 19 Share Posted July 19 Can I ask, why would you tell your new boss the reason you quit your old job? I would understand if you were trying to get your old job back by bringing it up, but it seems like you already quit your old job and have no interest in going back. By telling the new boss, you are putting yourself at risk for potentially making a bad impression or being seen as a troublemaker. You also do not owe anyone an explanation for your past job decisions. As someone who may have been in a similar situation, my advice is to focus on your current job and leave the past behind. It's great that you were able to stand up for yourself and tell the president about your boss' mistreatment, but now it's time to move forward. Let your new boss see your worth and the reasons why he chose to hire you, rather than dwelling on the past. If the topic comes up again, simply say that there were personal reasons that led to your decision to leave your previous job and leave it at that. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author doingtherightthing Posted July 19 Author Share Posted July 19 1 minute ago, Alpacalia said: Can I ask, why would you tell your new boss the reason you quit your old job? I would understand if you were trying to get your old job back by bringing it up, but it seems like you already quit your old job and have no interest in going back. By telling the new boss, you are putting yourself at risk for potentially making a bad impression or being seen as a troublemaker. You also do not owe anyone an explanation for your past job decisions. As someone who may have been in a similar situation, my advice is to focus on your current job and leave the past behind. It's great that you were able to stand up for yourself and tell the president about your boss' mistreatment, but now it's time to move forward. Let your new boss see your worth and the reasons why he chose to hire you, rather than dwelling on the past. If the topic comes up again, simply say that there were personal reasons that led to your decision to leave your previous job and leave it at that. The president is from my ex company, not a new job. Link to post Share on other sites
Alpacalia Posted July 19 Share Posted July 19 6 minutes ago, doingtherightthing said: The president is from my ex company, not a new job. Can you not put this behind you? What's on the horizon for new job prospects? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author doingtherightthing Posted July 19 Author Share Posted July 19 Training and another interview tomorrow. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
happyhorizons Posted July 19 Share Posted July 19 43 minutes ago, doingtherightthing said: What’s another angle? Please share. Are you saying that , now that’s I’m not an employee , he feels/felt he can still try it with me without “abusing” his power and reel me into an affair that way? It's probably not appropriate to post it but there might be another scenario. The bottom line is that your ex boss was inappropriate and crossed a very defined line that NO superior should ever cross. Link to post Share on other sites
happyhorizons Posted July 19 Share Posted July 19 2 hours ago, doingtherightthing said: Training and another interview tomorrow. I hope they both go very well...........Good Luck. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author doingtherightthing Posted July 19 Author Share Posted July 19 2 hours ago, happyhorizons said: It's probably not appropriate to post it but there might be another scenario. The bottom line is that your ex boss was inappropriate and crossed a very defined line that NO superior should ever cross. What is another scenario ? On my behalf or boss or presidents behalf? I can’t tell what you mean? You seem to have an experience in this type of situation. Please share Link to post Share on other sites
Alpacalia Posted July 19 Share Posted July 19 9 hours ago, doingtherightthing said: Training and another interview tomorrow. My apologies. I thought you told the President of the new company about your former boss with my initial reply. That's great that you are training and have an interview lined up! Link to post Share on other sites
Author doingtherightthing Posted July 19 Author Share Posted July 19 34 minutes ago, Alpacalia said: My apologies. I thought you told the President of the new company about your former boss with my initial reply. That's great that you are training and have an interview lined up! No worries and thanks! Link to post Share on other sites
happyhorizons Posted July 19 Share Posted July 19 18 minutes ago, doingtherightthing said: No worries and thanks! Good Luck with your interview. Link to post Share on other sites
happyhorizons Posted July 20 Share Posted July 20 14 hours ago, doingtherightthing said: No worries and thanks! How did the interview go? Link to post Share on other sites
NuevoYorko Posted July 20 Share Posted July 20 I hope you come to the point someday soon when you will be ready to step away from this whole situation. Back in June you were advised to go to HR and you said there was no one to go to. Evidently there was this president you could have gone to. I don't know why you continue to keep stirring this up but hopefully you're done now. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author doingtherightthing Posted July 20 Author Share Posted July 20 13 hours ago, happyhorizons said: How did the interview go? It was rescheduled for next week. I have others lined up too. I don’t mind it, so I can take few days to decompress. My anxiety has went down tremendously so this is a good sign. Link to post Share on other sites
Author doingtherightthing Posted July 20 Author Share Posted July 20 13 hours ago, NuevoYorko said: I hope you come to the point someday soon when you will be ready to step away from this whole situation. Back in June you were advised to go to HR and you said there was no one to go to. Evidently there was this president you could have gone to. I don't know why you continue to keep stirring this up but hopefully you're done now. There is no official HR. For a while , there was no transparency of “titles” and “power.” I had a notion and so did others working there, that my boss was at the “top.” I had to do some digging. I did tell the president that I regret not coming to him earlier , however whenever I tried to talk with him about any matter, he always referred me to my “boss.” Anyways, I am proud of myself for telling him , even though after the fact. I think if I did tell him while I was working there, it wouldn’t make any difference; I think it would make things worse for me given that he said that my resignation was the right choice. It doesn’t seem that he’s plan on replacing my “boss.” After all, it’s easier to replace an employee vs management. I am not “stirring” anything up. I am learning to stand up for my boundaries. You may understand it or not, but I have my own decisions and timeframe of doing things. Link to post Share on other sites
happyhorizons Posted July 20 Share Posted July 20 11 minutes ago, doingtherightthing said: It was rescheduled for next week. I have others lined up too. I don’t mind it, so I can take few days to decompress. My anxiety has went down tremendously so this is a good sign. That is a great sign and you are going to DO GREAT (keep the positive thoughts in your mind). You did what you thought and knew was best and that is always a good thing. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
happyhorizons Posted July 20 Share Posted July 20 3 minutes ago, doingtherightthing said: There is no official HR. For a while , there was no transparency of “titles” and “power.” I had a notion and so did others working there, that my boss was at the “top.” I had to do some digging. I did tell the president that I regret not coming to him earlier , however whenever I tried to talk with him about any matter, he always referred me to my “boss.” Anyways, I am proud of myself for telling him , even though after the fact. I think if I did tell him while I was working there, it wouldn’t make any difference; I think it would make things worse for me given that he said that my resignation was the right choice. It doesn’t seem that he’s plan on replacing my “boss.” After all, it’s easier to replace an employee vs management. I am not “stirring” anything up. I am learning to stand up for my boundaries. You may understand it or not, but I have my own decisions and timeframe of doing things. You did NOT stir anything but rather you stood up for yourself. There is another reason and motive in the President's action and non-action. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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