pachinko2124 Posted May 2 Share Posted May 2 I (M18) is in a long distance relationship with my GF(F19) and it has only been a month since I left. I trust my gf with every fibre of my existence but she can be insecure or immature sometimes. In the second week since I left my friend accused my gf of seeing another guy at a bar by saying that he saw my gf post a photot with another guy on facebook. The thing is I'm always talking and facetiming my gf and we're always updating each other about what we're doing so that can't be true. The first time it happened my friend was only asking because he wasn't sure, but while he was texting me other friends from my friend group started overracting and saying that my gf was cheating on me without them actually knowing anything. I trust my gf but I just told her about the conversations I had with them and she cried and got mad. She hates that they were accusing her of cheating and rather than defending that she wasn't cheating she was mostly mad at how they dared to accuse her and that she wants to talk to them. The friend who orginally accused her of cheating stopped accusing my gf as he himself wasn't sure himself so I genuinely didn't see a problem with him since he also apologized. But the others were the ones who kept saying that my gf was a cheater so I got mad I cut contact with them. I haven't talked to them in a while but it's also obvious that my gf no longer likes them at all. I texted the friend who apologized today and ever since my gf found out she got mad at me. Am I in the wrong, did I hurt my gf's feelings somehow? I hate that they accused my gf of cheating but is it wrong of me to move on from it even if I don't intend to keep the friendship close anymore. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted May 2 Share Posted May 2 23 minutes ago, pachinko2124 said: I (M18) is in a long distance relationship with my GF(F19) . In the second week since I left my friend accused my gf of seeing another guy at a bar by saying that he saw my gf post a photot with another guy on facebook. How long have you been dating? How often do you see each other in person? Who exactly are these friends and why are they keeping tabs on her and reporting disinformation? Of course she's upset about it but do you believe her? Why would these friends stir up this type of gossip and drama? All you can do is apologize and let her know you wanted to clear up these rumors. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Author pachinko2124 Posted May 2 Author Share Posted May 2 (edited) 1 hour ago, Wiseman2 said: How long have you been dating? How often do you see each other in person? Who exactly are these friends and why are they keeping tabs on her and reporting disinformation? Of course she's upset about it but do you believe her? Why would these friends stir up this type of gossip and drama? All you can do is apologize and let her know you wanted to clear up these rumors. We've been dating for over a year now. And I do trust her for real and I know that she's not cheating on me. These friends are my uni friends before I moved and my gf and I were always together before I moved away. I'm not sure why they were trying to tell me these information but the thing is they weren't keeping tabs on her before. He just stumbled upon her post according to his story but the thing is she didn't post anything. I already apologized but I'm just unsure of why she's mad at me. I understand that her feelings towards my "friend" is negative. But I'm no longer talking to them anymore it was just a text for school purposes. Edited May 2 by pachinko2124 More info. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
flitzanu Posted May 2 Share Posted May 2 are you not social media friends and aren't you able to see if she posted this picture they are saying she did? that seems like the easiest way to confirm if it was true. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Author pachinko2124 Posted May 2 Author Share Posted May 2 2 minutes ago, flitzanu said: are you not social media friends and aren't you able to see if she posted this picture they are saying she did? that seems like the easiest way to confirm if it was true. We are and I didn't see anything because I was busy that day. The thing is the "friend" said she deleted it. Also to specify the post was actually a "story" post. I should've added in that information my bad. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
mark clemson Posted May 2 Share Posted May 2 (edited) You're not in the wrong - they stirred up trouble in your relationship just for the sake of their own jollies apparently, and at a bad time as well since you just went long distance. "With friends like you, who need enemies..." This may look different to your GF than to you. She was the one falsely accused and I'm going to guess they are more your friends than hers. Hopefully the LD thing is temporary. Speaking for myself, I found in my youth LD relationships don't work very well. At 19ish I'll note that life is a marathon, not a sprint - while emotions can be very strong, don't (IMO) but TOO much stock into any 1 relationship. Humans tend to be serial monogamists in the bigger picture of one's life. There may be other fish further down the river. Edited May 2 by mark clemson Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Foxhall Posted May 2 Share Posted May 2 It can be important at your age to have the pals onside also, dont let a woman come between mates is good advice a bit of banter is normal between guys and they are looking out for one and other I would not recommend cutting ties with the guys just to please the girlfriend be strong and let her see you are independent and have your own friends. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Gebidozo Posted May 3 Share Posted May 3 OP, any guy who slanders your woman like this is not your friend. Please remember that. You did absolutely right when you cut off contact with that pack of hyenas. Of course your girlfriend is upset. Even if she did post a photo with some guy on Facebook and then deleted it, so what? It was probably just a friend and she might have deleted the post because she knew your petty and envious “friends” would interpret it in a twisted, false way. She’s lonely in some other city, and those a**h***s ganged up on her, tried to ruin your relationship. How would you feel if her friends accused you of infidelity? The best thing you can do now is travel to see her, reassure and comfort her. In general, do that as often as you can. Long-distance relationships are very hard, especially at your age. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted May 5 Share Posted May 5 Well this is just part of growing up with over active minds. Perception can get distorted and look like something it’s not. I feel this is what happened along with group hysteria. They truly believe what they saw or heard. Maybe they over reacted from their own experiences. Anywho there is nothing you can do about it now. This just needs to blow over, so just grip the railing a little tighter and go along for the ride. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Author pachinko2124 Posted May 5 Author Share Posted May 5 37 minutes ago, smackie9 said: Well this is just part of growing up with over active minds. Perception can get distorted and look like something it’s not. I feel this is what happened along with group hysteria. They truly believe what they saw or heard. Maybe they over reacted from their own experiences. Anywho there is nothing you can do about it now. This just needs to blow over, so just grip the railing a little tighter and go along for the ride. I know that the password thing is just dumb but as long as it makes her happy I don't know anymore Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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