after we hugged she said 'that would've ended a little different if you weren't rude to me'

[ikonik]

this girl i work with, who has a bf, is going on vacation and i wasn't even going for a hug, i was just stretching my arms all the way up and she came in for the hug to say bye. it lasted for a while and after she said something like "that would've ended a little differently if you weren't so rude earlier." what did she mean?

[Sony12]

1 minute ago, ikonik said:

this girl i work with, who has a bf, is going on vacation and i wasn't even going for a hug, i was just stretching my arms all the way up and she came in for the hug to say bye. it lasted for a while and after she said something like "that would've ended a little differently if you weren't so rude earlier." what did she mean?

 

Did you say anything that she could have perceived as being rude? Most likely though she is just being a tease. 

[ikonik]

6 minutes ago, Sony12 said:

 

Did you say anything that she could have perceived as being rude? Most likely though she is just being a tease. 

let's just say i let my emotions get the best of me and took it out on her.

[Sony12]

Ok you may have hurt her feelings in someway. But she's got a boyfriend so the chances are slim anything would have happened that you are thinking of. 

[ikonik]

23 minutes ago, Sony12 said:

Ok you may have hurt her feelings in someway. But she's got a boyfriend so the chances are slim anything would have happened that you are thinking of. 

so why did she say that

[Sony12]

3 minutes ago, ikonik said:

so why did she say that

All she said was that it would have ended differently. Unless you two have been physical with each other in the past that statement doesn't really mean a whole lot (especially considering you two work together). She probably just enjoys being a little bit of a tease.

[Alpacalia]

Ignore her. She's just trying to get a reaction out of you. It's like she's saying, if you were nicer to me, you could have had a more intimate hug. But don't take the bait. She has a boyfriend and it's not appropriate for her to be saying these things to you. Just brush it off and continue with your day.

[BaileyB]

53 minutes ago, ikonik said:

after she said something like "that would've ended a little differently if you weren't so rude earlier." what did she mean?

Does it matter - she has a boyfriend. 

[Sony12]

Yep. If she were really interested in getting involved with you you would have a much better idea of it than just a playful goodbye line she gave you.

[ikonik]

sigh.

[Sony12]

18 minutes ago, ikonik said:

sigh.

Women that are becoming interested in men outside of the relationship they are in often start telling those men how unhappy/unsatisfied they are in that relationship. 

Edited April 21, 2024 by Sony12

[BaileyB]

26 minutes ago, ikonik said:

sigh.

Are you interested in her? 

If so, do you really want to date a woman who plays these kind of manipulative word games and flirts with other men who are not her boyfriend? 

If she didn’t have a boyfriend, I would say that she was either a) trying to flirt with you in a way that is not cool or smooth or b) a woman who likes to test men by manipulating and playing word games. (Ie, I may have pursued this because I like you, but you messed it up and now you need to show me that you want me - while you are standing there saying “huh?” and then set about doing exactly what she wants you to do - chase her). 

The fact that she has a boyfriend should render this all moot though - unless you are the kind of guy who doesn’t respect boundaries either. 

Edited April 21, 2024 by BaileyB

[Gebidozo]

So this girl has a boyfriend, yet she said something very suggestive and flirty to you.

What does it matter why she said it? You don’t want to be with someone who says such things to men while being in a relationship.

[smackie9]

I'm guessing you are young...she likes to butter up guys for the attention, especially someone that secretly macks on her. She knows you like her. Don't get sucked into this crap. Sure have fun with it if you dare but don't set your heart on her.

[Lotsgoingon]

Next time you do the following: you ASK "hey, what do you mean?"

But let's get back to you. You were not expecting a hug, right? So what did the hug feel like? Sounds to me like it felt strange, bizarre and then her words made things stranger still.

So the important matter here is that this woman responded to you in a way that you didn't expect, that felt strange an inappropriate--and confusing!

Those feelings all red flags--signs you want to keep distance with this person. She's throwing weird nonsensical energy at you. You don't want figure it out beyond that it is nonsensical and strange--and thus you want to keep your distance.  And next time maybe you want to block the hug. 

 

[ikonik]

5 hours ago, Sony12 said:

Women that are becoming interested in men outside of the relationship they are in often start telling those men how unhappy/unsatisfied they are in that relationship. 

it doesnt feel like she is unhappy, since they are going on vacation together.

Edited April 21, 2024 by ikonik

[basil67]

7 hours ago, ikonik said:

let's just say i let my emotions get the best of me and took it out on her.

What did you get emotional over?  Perhaps the answer to your question is here

[ikonik]

2 hours ago, Lotsgoingon said:

Next time you do the following: you ASK "hey, what do you mean?"

But let's get back to you. You were not expecting a hug, right? So what did the hug feel like? Sounds to me like it felt strange, bizarre and then her words made things stranger still.

So the important matter here is that this woman responded to you in a way that you didn't expect, that felt strange an inappropriate--and confusing!

Those feelings all red flags--signs you want to keep distance with this person. She's throwing weird nonsensical energy at you. You don't want figure it out beyond that it is nonsensical and strange--and thus you want to keep your distance.  And next time maybe you want to block the hug. 

 

it was unexpected, but i'm not denying a hug from someone i like.

Edited April 21, 2024 by ikonik

[ikonik]

Just now, basil67 said:

What did you get emotional over?  Perhaps the answer to your question is here

i found out she had a bf

[basil67]

So it's the woman from this thread who was behaving inappropriately? 

 

[ikonik]

1 minute ago, basil67 said:

So it's the woman from this thread who was behaving inappropriately? 

 

yes

[basil67]

Then her comment is just more of the same inappropriate behaviour.  She's just an attention seeker

[bpb2017]

On 4/21/2024 at 3:21 PM, ikonik said:

this girl i work with, who has a bf, is going on vacation and i wasn't even going for a hug, i was just stretching my arms all the way up and she came in for the hug to say bye. it lasted for a while and after she said something like "that would've ended a little differently if you weren't so rude earlier." what did she mean?

It's just a saying. you're making it out to be more than what it is.

[NuevoYorko]

On 4/21/2024 at 7:32 AM, ikonik said:

let's just say i let my emotions get the best of me and took it out on her.

That was a strange thing to do to a woman who's a co-worker.