MIOSBORNE Posted December 28, 2005 Share Posted December 28, 2005 I got up the guts to contact the Om live-in girlfriend past Friday. I told her about the text messages and phone calls between ber BF and my wife. Later, BF called saying he wanted all four of us to talk. He stated that they were just friends from a while back and she calls him asking him advice from our relationship. He said she is playing "games" making me think she is cheating to get some attention from me. She told him she had low self esteem because of me and she felt I was cheating on her. He said she also knows his "cousin" whom he did not give a name. He said he told my wife it was wrong to play these games and said he wanted to talk a few months ago when she started calling him. He said he was upset she got him mixed up in all of this mess. He said she felt I was not giving her enough attention. My wife found out I called girlfriend and was furious. She said she is moving Saturday and never wants to see me again. She says I was trying to make her look bad but this was not the case. I say just give up and let her go and start dating myself. Link to post Share on other sites
Kenyth Posted December 28, 2005 Share Posted December 28, 2005 She said she is moving Saturday and never wants to see me again. She says I was trying to make her look bad but this was not the case. I say just give up and let her go and start dating myself. Man you give good advice! Tell her not to let the door hit her in the a$$ on the way out. Don't feel bad. If there was nothing to hide, nobody would be freaking out and the OM wouldn't be doing damage control. Don't fall for the excuses. Don't get together for a foursome of "Who can bulls*** the best." There's no future in it for you. She's pissed because you threw a big monkey wrench in the works. I don't care if she WAS just trying to make you think she was having an affair. It worked, didn't it? She got her wish right? You're following right along and acting accordingly, right? So what's the big deal? Don't fall for the BS! If it waddles and swims like a duck, has feathers like a duck, and quacks like a duck, chances are it IS a duck. So treat it like the fowl thing it is! Link to post Share on other sites
Author MIOSBORNE Posted December 28, 2005 Author Share Posted December 28, 2005 Kenyth, I agree with you all the way!! Why the hell is everyone so upset and why was he calling me desparately to explain if nothing was going on. Why was he dodging me for months at a time before. Why was his number voice activated on her phone. Once he called and I called him back and he said he had the wrong number. Link to post Share on other sites
Mz. Pixie Posted December 28, 2005 Share Posted December 28, 2005 They are doing damage control. Nothing more. He's scared because you called his gf. Did you bring up all the proof you had at this "meeting". Tell your wife that if she didn't have anything to hide and she wanted to save her marriage, this wouldn't be an issue. She wouldn't care about "looking bad" in front of this man she's been calling for "advice". If they are that close it wouldn't matter. Link to post Share on other sites
Author MIOSBORNE Posted December 28, 2005 Author Share Posted December 28, 2005 We actually never had the meeting. Apparently she was on her way to meet me and was stopped by OM. That's when he called me to "explain" the situation. This morning, my wife wanted to know" specifics" on what I spoke to the OM's girlfriend about. Link to post Share on other sites
Kenyth Posted December 28, 2005 Share Posted December 28, 2005 We actually never had the meeting. Apparently she was on her way to meet me and was stopped by OM. That's when he called me to "explain" the situation. This morning, my wife wanted to know" specifics" on what I spoke to the OM's girlfriend about. Tell her that Lucy's the one has some 'splainin' to do, not Ricky! Also inform her that if she keeps talking to the OM, she needs to take her a$$ out the door! At this point in time, either he's out of her life, or you are. The other couple isn't your biggest concern here. It's all an attempt at damage control. If the GF want's to get a hold of you for the real deal, she will. I'm not really sure what exactly happened here. An EA, a PA, or just inappropriate behavior? Do you have a link to your first post on this? Link to post Share on other sites
Kenyth Posted December 28, 2005 Share Posted December 28, 2005 Bud, I just did a search on your past posts and now I remember the whole story. The bottom line is, this bitch needs to go. You need to get her out quick. She's an emotional basket case and having an affair to boot. She does nothing but bring you down and blame you for her personal problems. Your son is likely being mistreated or neglected in her care. It's your job to put an end to this nnightmare quickly and now! Quit screwing around and accept whats going on here! You've been talking about it on this board for a while now. The time has come to do unto her before she does any more unto you. It's over, so you need to finish it. There is no fixing this. Make no mistake about it. She is f@ck!ng someone else and has no remorse. She's onlt concened because she doesn't have anywhere to go now. It's not unusual for WS to find the OM unwilling to take them on as anything but sex toys and get desperate. A reconciliation under these circumstances will last only as long as it takes her to find some other way. Link to post Share on other sites
Author MIOSBORNE Posted December 29, 2005 Author Share Posted December 29, 2005 Thanks Kenyth, I will be asking her to go and stay with her mother this weekend. She was planning to go to Alabama New Year's Eve, no doubt to be with him. I spoke on three way with the couple of the supposed OM and they were furious. Apparently, it is this man's cousin that WW has been seeing. They said this cousin has been using the cell phone number of the cousin here to maintain contact. They said he has been seeing my wife off and on for four years!! We have only been married five!! Our daughter is two so I think you know where I am going with this. He stated his "cousin" lives in a city that we just moved from two years ago in Alabama. He supposedly has a live-in girlfriend. Not that my wife cares she said she knew he had a girlfriend. This is a whole different ballgame now and I will be getting a paternity test done. Link to post Share on other sites
Bryanp Posted December 29, 2005 Share Posted December 29, 2005 I am so sorry for you. Your wife has been cheating almost the whole time you have been married and has put your health at risk for STD's. You are very wise to have a paternity test done. It is clear that she has been playing you for a fool for your entire marriage. Get an attorney and move on and find someone in the future who can truly love and respect you. Your wife is a real piece of work. I wish you luck. Link to post Share on other sites
Kenyth Posted December 29, 2005 Share Posted December 29, 2005 Thanks Kenyth, I will be asking her to go and stay with her mother this weekend. She was planning to go to Alabama New Year's Eve, no doubt to be with him. I spoke on three way with the couple of the supposed OM and they were furious. Apparently, it is this man's cousin that WW has been seeing. They said this cousin has been using the cell phone number of the cousin here to maintain contact. They said he has been seeing my wife off and on for four years!! We have only been married five!! Our daughter is two so I think you know where I am going with this. He stated his "cousin" lives in a city that we just moved from two years ago in Alabama. He supposedly has a live-in girlfriend. Not that my wife cares she said she knew he had a girlfriend. This is a whole different ballgame now and I will be getting a paternity test done. Oh man! I am so sorry. If she's not yours, this has to be the worst thing a woman can do to you and a child. Link to post Share on other sites
Author MIOSBORNE Posted December 30, 2005 Author Share Posted December 30, 2005 WW told me this morning she was leaving for her mom's just for the weekend. I suspect it was to see OM for New Years Eve. I did not go for it. I told her if she was leaving anyway when she found a job then to pack her things and stay permanently and told her she did not have to come back here. SHe agreed and said she would file for divorce later. I had to do this as nothing has changed the past few months. I refused to live like that any longer. I had to realize she is now my enemy and not the person that used to have my back. I did not hug or show any emotion as I left this morning. I just told her to lock up before she left. I am sad for my daughter as she will be away from me. But it probably was more stressful living like I was. I confronted her about my daughter and she swore on her life she was mine. This makes me feel better but time will tell on this issue. I may not see it now. But breaking up before New Year's Eve and my daughter being so far away will be worth it in the long run. I no longer will have to wonder if the person living with me loves me or is seeing another man. To me that is probably harder than any consequence of separating/divorcing. BTW, she only screamed divorce after I contacted wife of suspected OM> Link to post Share on other sites
Kenyth Posted December 30, 2005 Share Posted December 30, 2005 Brother, YOU need to file for divorce. Don't let her take control of this! If I were you, I'd want primary custody. If you let her take take the child across state lines willingly, and have to deal with long distance visitation, you're doing yourself a real disservice! If you truly don't want or can't handle custody, then do what you have to do. Link to post Share on other sites
jmargel Posted December 30, 2005 Share Posted December 30, 2005 Trust me.. these are only words. You're gonna have to pry her out of that house. She's mad because you just spoiled all her excitement and fun. Screw that. You deserve better. Get a DNA test, contact a lawyer and try to get custody of your daughter. Link to post Share on other sites
Mz. Pixie Posted December 30, 2005 Share Posted December 30, 2005 But breaking up before New Year's Eve and my daughter being so far away will be worth it in the long run. I no longer will have to wonder if the person living with me loves me or is seeing another man. To me that is probably harder than any consequence of separating/divorcing. WHOA!!!!! You are willingly allowing her to take your daughter over the state line because it's EASIER on you????? You need to take a giant step back here. If she does this, you can kiss your daughter goodbye. Do you have any idea how hard it's going to be to get visitation when you ALLOWED them to move out of state?? You might as well sign over your parental rights right now if you're only concerned with what's easier. She doesn't have to LIVE with you. Make her move out but tell her she damned well better not take your daughter over state lines. You have plenty of proof of infidelity. See a lawyer and file for divorce based on adultery. File for full if not split custody. Divorce is 1000 times more painful that you think it is. Your daughter needs you and you're giving up on that because of your pain?? Unbelievable. Link to post Share on other sites
Author MIOSBORNE Posted December 30, 2005 Author Share Posted December 30, 2005 My daughter is only one and a half hours away. I am not giving up on her but am tired of this situation. Don't even know if I can prevent this at this point. Link to post Share on other sites
Bryanp Posted December 30, 2005 Share Posted December 30, 2005 How could you possibly accept the word of this woman? Of course she is going to say this is your child. She wants to make sure you will have to continue to pay for the next 18 years. You would have to be a total fool not to have a paternity test done. She has no credibility whatsoever so why in the world would you accept her word on anything? Link to post Share on other sites
Author MIOSBORNE Posted December 30, 2005 Author Share Posted December 30, 2005 I will petition the court to pay child support. A DNA test will automatically be done in this state before support is ordered. Link to post Share on other sites
Mz. Pixie Posted January 3, 2006 Share Posted January 3, 2006 Miso- Have you posted this on the MB site?? You're tired of the situation?? You don't even know the definition of that yet, you are going to be dealing with this woman for the rest of your child's life, in one form or another. Link to post Share on other sites
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