Mountain Mama Posted March 28 Share Posted March 28 First friend when I moved to the mountains always cancels on me and lastly, "accidentally" sent me a text meant for her daughter (age 34) calling my extremely nice and generous son (age 26) a "little s***". This was resulting from her daughter's feelings being hurt (her daughter has never had a boyfriend etc..) by my son who nicely explained to her that he needed to not spend time w her for a while because of a new girlfriend (who was uncomfortable with their "friendship"). The mother and daughter IMO have a very codependent relationship but the line was crossed at the name calling My son has been always so kind to both mother and daughter doing lots of work for both and coming to daughter's rescue when she called bc she was stuck in the snow etc.... Making friends up here has been slow but I'd rather have quality friends than many. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted March 28 Share Posted March 28 When did you relocate? Have you made other friends there? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted March 28 Share Posted March 28 So ease them out of your life. Sometimes it's easier to make friends in a structured setting. Is there something you can volunteer to do or a club you can join? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
MsJayne Posted March 28 Share Posted March 28 I guess it depends what sort of friendship your son and your friend's daughter had developed. If they've been close friends and he's suddenly changed the dynamic to accommodate a jealous girlfriend I could see why the daughter might feel snubbed and hurt, so maybe that's behind the insult, mother just trying to comfort the daughter, especially if the daughter had misinterpreted your son's attention. Doesn't excuse the insult, but when feelings get hurt you can cut the other person a little slack. If your son and her daughter had a nice friendship I'd be looking at the new girlfriend and questioning why she's telling your son who he can be friends with. Ditching a companion because someone "better" came along isn't a nice thing to do. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted March 29 Share Posted March 29 (edited) It all sounds a bit messy. This girl is hurt because your son wants to spend time away from her despite her having done nothing wrong. And I think that a nice and generous person doesn't drop a friend just because their jealous partner wants them to. If the friendship was truly platonic, surely there could have been some middle ground found. And to be fair, when we've got a friend or family who is upset by someone, it's not uncommon to support them by agreeing with their feelings of hurt even if we don't truly agree. It's very unfortunate that the message got sent to you by accident and I genuinely hope she apologised to you, but I think it's a rare person who's never spoken without filters in private about how they really feel about a situation behind someone's back. Edited March 29 by basil67 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted March 29 Share Posted March 29 9 hours ago, basil67 said: I think that a nice and generous person doesn't drop a friend just because their jealous partner wants them to. If the friendship was truly platonic, surely there could have been some middle ground found. I don't know. . . how many times have we read on these board that a new SO wants their new partner to take a step back from opposite sex friendships? It happens. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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