HBA Posted March 20 Share Posted March 20 I met this guy whilst he was on a work trip in London. He lives in Australia and we have been talking for a bit. We are both Muslim so are talking with the intention for marriage. Problem is, I am Sunni and he is Shia - prior to him I was looking into Shiaism anyways but still I am a Sunni. Secondly, I am set to start Pharmacy school in September which is a 5 year course. We had a discussion that I could study in Australia but it would cost a lot and there are no student loans for international students. Shall I give it up because of the difficulties and focus on my studies, or should I still give it a go? This guy is literally my dream man and ticks all of my boxes, I am attached to him and only want to make the right decision as once you do something you can’t go back. We have had a temporary marriage btw so not haram in case someone comes for me Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted March 20 Share Posted March 20 Focus on your studies where you are. Don't move or go into debt for a guy you just met. See if you can talk & stay close over the time while you are studying. If it's truly meant to be, you will be able to make this work long distance. Link to post Share on other sites
Author HBA Posted March 20 Author Share Posted March 20 2 minutes ago, d0nnivain said: Focus on your studies where you are. Don't move or go into debt for a guy you just met. See if you can talk & stay close over the time while you are studying. If it's truly meant to be, you will be able to make this work long distance. Appreciate it, I was thinking the same. But love comes once no? I’ve never felt like this before Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted March 20 Share Posted March 20 What is a "temporary marriage". Will this marriage need to be approved by both sets of parents? How practical is financing your education overseas? Link to post Share on other sites
Author HBA Posted March 20 Author Share Posted March 20 4 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said: What is a "temporary marriage". Will this marriage need to be approved by both sets of parents? How practical is financing your education overseas? It’s mainly a Shia belief, but it’s a “halal” way of getting to know each other. The guy still has to give dowry but with this it has an end date by which you have to be married or the marriage ends. I’m working at the moment so can save for it but still Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted March 20 Share Posted March 20 23 minutes ago, HBA said: Appreciate it, I was thinking the same. But love comes once no? I’ve never felt like this before If it's truly meant to be it will wait. Sometimes you have to fight for that love. Here it's not a fight but patience. True love will endure the passage of time. I'm not saying give up on him or the relationship but put your education 1st. Stay in touch. See each other in person during breaks. Use technology to your advantage. The whole sunni shai thing sounds like a much bigger hurdle. It will take time to get your families on board with that. Figure out how / where you will worship. That is going to have a more profound impact on your future & any possible children rather that waiting a few years to fully get to know each other & develop into who you are supposed to be through education. There is no rush. Build the foundation to guarantee a successful marriage & genuine happily ever after. Let the deadline for the temporary marriage be after you graduate. Why do you have to be in such a rush right now? You barely know each other. Link to post Share on other sites
Author HBA Posted March 20 Author Share Posted March 20 20 minutes ago, d0nnivain said: If it's truly meant to be it will wait. Sometimes you have to fight for that love. Here it's not a fight but patience. True love will endure the passage of time. I'm not saying give up on him or the relationship but put your education 1st. Stay in touch. See each other in person during breaks. Use technology to your advantage. The whole sunni shai thing sounds like a much bigger hurdle. It will take time to get your families on board with that. Figure out how / where you will worship. That is going to have a more profound impact on your future & any possible children rather that waiting a few years to fully get to know each other & develop into who you are supposed to be through education. There is no rush. Build the foundation to guarantee a successful marriage & genuine happily ever after. Let the deadline for the temporary marriage be after you graduate. Why do you have to be in such a rush right now? You barely know each other. Thank you so much, such sweet advice and I’ll take it on 🫶🏼 Link to post Share on other sites
Alpacalia Posted March 20 Share Posted March 20 (edited) That's going to be very tough. My father Shia (he married a catholic in the early 70s) and it was really tough for both my mom and us kids ...I guess if we were born and brought up in a different part of the world it would be more normal. Anyways, I think you need to think very hard about this decision. It's not just about converting to Shia Islam, but also about uprooting yourself and potentially leaving everything you know to start a new life in Australia. 5 years is a long time to be away from family and friends, and it's not easy to adjust to a new country and culture. Edited March 20 by Alpacalia Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted March 21 Share Posted March 21 15 hours ago, HBA said: But love comes once no? Not in my experience, no. How much time have you actually spent with him in person? Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted March 21 Share Posted March 21 Please talk to trusted friends and family about this. It seems you're making All the sacrifices. Moving, religion education, etc. Link to post Share on other sites
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