happyhorizons Posted March 25 Share Posted March 25 The past is just that the PAST. So, if she has DONE THINGS that you are not comfortable with maybe you should not be with her. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Gebidozo Posted March 25 Share Posted March 25 3 hours ago, Adam Davey said: When I asked my partner about her promiscuous behaviour in the past she said.."I watched my day bring home lots of girls i guess that's why I've been with lots of guys"... I just think that's a really . Really bad cop out on her behalf. You already posted the same topic. I thought you agreed to try and see those things from her perspective and not pass such judgments. Link to post Share on other sites
Lotsgoingon Posted March 25 Share Posted March 25 That question was a no-win question. Unfair to her and as helpful to you as a brick falling on your toe. You don't like her past, then let her go. People ask questions like the one you posed when something isn't working in the relationship. Focus there--what's not working in the relationship for you? Or is it working well and now you've got anxiety because you feel so close to her. Or are you feeling sexually insecure in some way? Deal with your own feelings. BTW: over time you should be able to know your partner well enough so that you can answer that question--even if they haven't directly addressed it. And if you want reassurance that she is sexually happy with you, then ask for that! Link to post Share on other sites
ShyViolet Posted March 25 Share Posted March 25 Everyone has a past. What she has done in the past is honestly not your business. If you have so little respect for your girlfriend then you should do her a favor and end this relationship. It's not your place to grill her about her past. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted March 25 Share Posted March 25 10 hours ago, Adam Davey said: When I asked my partner about her promiscuous behaviour in the past she said.."I watched my day bring home lots of girls i guess that's why I've been with lots of guys"... I just think that's a really . Really bad cop out on her behalf. You can think whatever you like. But it's not going to change anything 1 Link to post Share on other sites
MsJayne Posted March 25 Share Posted March 25 What do you mean by "cop out"? if you mean she uses it as an excuse, it doesn't sound like she's excusing herself, more just explaining her mindset. If you're feeling uncomfortable about it you obviously have different values to her and you might be happier with a girl who has the same ideals as you. Try not to judge, she doesn't have to justify anything about herself to anyone, and if she grew up watching her dad treating women as disposable items she may have developed low self esteem and have poor boundaries as a result. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Lotsgoingon Posted March 25 Share Posted March 25 Actually her answer is far more emotionally sophisticated that your perspective. We learn HUGE amounts of our own behavior from the families we grow up in. You missed the importance of her answer. BTW: you define her behavior as "promiscuous." That's a negative label right there. Many people would just say "she slept with a lot of people." And even "a lot" is a vague term. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mark clemson Posted March 25 Share Posted March 25 If you like someone for who they are now, what are you doing worrying about their past. If you genuinely have an issue with past promiscuous behavior, well, it's your issue and you should have looked into it before letting your relationship with this person get to the "partner" stage. Seems like you are self-sabotaging here... Link to post Share on other sites
happyhorizons Posted March 25 Share Posted March 25 She seems to be giving you an HONEST answer and you simply DO NOT LIKE the answer. So, I think that is YOUR ISSUE and hers. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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