Adam Davey Posted March 9 Share Posted March 9 My partner said that the reason she has been with lots of guys is because she watched her Dad bring home lots of girls..I find that absolutely ridiculous..I met her when she was 28. It's possibly the dumbest thing I have ever heard. She openl braggs about all her sexual conquests and holds nothing back...ĺ Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted March 9 Share Posted March 9 How long have you been together? How old is she? Is she insecure? Has she stepped out on you? Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted March 9 Share Posted March 9 This is who she is. If you are upset by this find a different partner. You won't change her. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Adam Davey Posted March 9 Author Share Posted March 9 been together 3 yrs Link to post Share on other sites
Sony12 Posted March 9 Share Posted March 9 So she's boy crazy. What's wrong with that. If she's willing to commit to a relationship with you that just means she will be crazy about you Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted March 9 Share Posted March 9 Tell her to shut it. Express yourself and set boundaries. Let her know it's unacceptable to talk about that with a loving partner. It's pretty crass. Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted March 9 Share Posted March 9 Has she always been like this in the three years you've been dating? Link to post Share on other sites
MsJayne Posted March 9 Share Posted March 9 Obviously you disapprove of her behaviour, and that's your right. She's not the girl for you. Having lots of lovers is fine, bragging about it is just crass and would turn most partners off because it's like finding a turd in your hamburger. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Adam Davey Posted March 10 Author Share Posted March 10 Yes exactly..and it wasn't just that guy she bragged about..it was kind of like every chance she had she would bring up another one or something sexual about someone else she hooked up with and had to throw in the old ' we slept together 4 times and he threw me around ' or 'I had too much to drink and I felt like experimenting'..who experiments with a drunk person they hardlyknow???..not sure how you're meant to respond to that sort of talk but I know what I wanted to say and looking back I should of. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted March 10 Share Posted March 10 Why are you still dating her? Link to post Share on other sites
Gebidozo Posted March 10 Share Posted March 10 18 hours ago, Adam Davey said: My partner said that the reason she has been with lots of guys is because she watched her Dad bring home lots of girls..I find that absolutely ridiculous..I met her when she was 28. It's possibly the dumbest thing I have ever heard. She openl braggs about all her sexual conquests and holds nothing back...ĺ Having had sexual partners is her past, and there is nothing you can do to change it. You have to accept it once and for all. Talking too much about that, however, is another issue. If you don’t like her mentioning those past liaisons of hers and going into detail, just ask her to stop doing that. Tell her it’s bothering you. Maybe she’s just immature and doesn’t realize that it offends you. Also, I’m not sure she is really bragging. Maybe she is ashamed of her past and talks too much of it to regain lost self-respect. Maybe she’s insecure. Maybe she regrets that a lot and her discussing the past obsessively and finding excuses for her past behavior is simply her way to stop feeling so insecure and guilty. I feel that you’re being somewhat judgmental when mentioning her past. E.g., “The dumbest thing I have ever heard” and “Who experiments with a drunk person they hardly know???”. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Adam Davey Posted March 11 Author Share Posted March 11 Thank you for your reply I appreciate it and have taken it in..she was definitely bragging..like in the way someone talks when they have achieved something or like you know when someone talks about doing something great or important..I know what you are saying,I do but she's certainly not insecure but could quite possibly be regretful a little bit?? Aren't we all.. you are right in saying I am judgemental of her past however most of the time I forget about it but the comment regarding her Dad and using 'that' as the excuse for all her sexual history instead of possibly the truth which would be she loves guys and loves having random sex is ridiculous.. That would be like me saying ..'if he did actually do it' the reason I beat up my partner is because I watched my Dad do it or I don't wash my kids because my Dad didn't didn't..I'm sorry I'm not meaning to be rude I just think it's a really low act to blame someone else for something you obviously enjoy doing. Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted March 11 Share Posted March 11 Morbidly insecure people do stuff like this for attention, to get a rise out of you, to try to make you jealous, etc. to desperately reassure themselves. Just ignore her rather than taking the bait. Just say "that's nice, I've had a lot of hot women in my day too". Throw the BS right back at her. She can then appreciate how foolish she sounds. Link to post Share on other sites
Gebidozo Posted March 11 Share Posted March 11 1 hour ago, Adam Davey said: Thank you for your reply I appreciate it and have taken it in..she was definitely bragging..like in the way someone talks when they have achieved something or like you know when someone talks about doing something great or important..I know what you are saying,I do but she's certainly not insecure but could quite possibly be regretful a little bit?? Aren't we all.. you are right in saying I am judgemental of her past however most of the time I forget about it but the comment regarding her Dad and using 'that' as the excuse for all her sexual history instead of possibly the truth which would be she loves guys and loves having random sex is ridiculous.. That would be like me saying ..'if he did actually do it' the reason I beat up my partner is because I watched my Dad do it or I don't wash my kids because my Dad didn't didn't..I'm sorry I'm not meaning to be rude I just think it's a really low act to blame someone else for something you obviously enjoy doing. How do you know she’s enjoyed that? Her bragging has nothing to do with enjoyment. If anything, it feels defensive, forced, and fake. I’m sure she is insecure and possibly remorseful, although she might not be realizing it yet. About blaming her father for her behavior - well, “low” or not, but it might be true, in the sense that her father’s behavior may have traumatized her and caused her to have emotional problems. That is not to say that she isn’t responsible for her actions. There is a very significant difference between acknowledging another person’s negative influence to denying one’s own moral responsibility. For example, I’m aware of the fact that my mother has spoiled me emotionally by not being critical enough of my behavior as a child and as a teenager. That has contributed to my selfishness and lack of awareness of my emotional problems. That doesn’t mean, however, that I blame my mother for selfish acts I’ve committed. Her behavior was a factor, but then again, everything is a factor. My behavior, however, is my responsibility, regardless of what caused it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Adam Davey Posted March 12 Author Share Posted March 12 Absolutely..thank you..you have given me other thoughts and avenues as I only had one trail of thought Link to post Share on other sites
Author Adam Davey Posted March 24 Author Share Posted March 24 When I asked my partner about her promiscuous behaviour in the past she said.."I watched my day bring home lots of girls i guess that's why I've been with lots of guys"... I just think that's a really . Really bad cop out on her behalf. Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted March 24 Share Posted March 24 Why are you with someone you think is "promiscuous" and why are you interrogating her about her past? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Adam Davey Posted March 24 Author Share Posted March 24 Why. Why. Why.isnt the topic my question is regarding the answer and I'd rather you not answer it. Link to post Share on other sites
Alpacalia Posted March 24 Share Posted March 24 It's not a cop out. It's just that's what she observed. You don't have to agree with her reasoning. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted March 24 Share Posted March 24 Maybe what she said is the truth and that is why she did it. It sounds like she was trying to make him jealous but he still kept bringing girls home. Link to post Share on other sites
goldengirls Posted March 24 Share Posted March 24 I have known some people who were raised the same way and were very promiscuous. She had to seek treatment for a sex addiction as it was toxic and unhealthy the way she was living. If she has a sex addiction she needs treatment, counseling etc. through the counseling she will learn that it’s not appropriate behavior and she can’t forever blame her upbringing. she could also just be trying to justify her behavior with her upbringing. My dad was an alcoholic but that didn’t mean I turned out that way. it all comes down to CHOICES. She’s choosing to live this way. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
goldengirls Posted March 24 Share Posted March 24 It’s not even a cop out- it’s a LAME excuse to validate her choices. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted March 24 Share Posted March 24 It seems like she enjoys getting a rise out of your jealousy. If you stop these inane discussions, you'll stop torturing yourself. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Alpacalia Posted March 24 Share Posted March 24 You asked her the question, and did not like her response. Why would you attack her for giving an honest answer? It sounds like you may have a problem with her promiscuity, and that is something you should discuss with her if it bothers you. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted March 25 Share Posted March 25 (edited) 2 hours ago, Adam Davey said: When I asked my partner about her promiscuous behaviour in the past she said.."I watched my day bring home lots of girls i guess that's why I've been with lots of guys"... I just think that's a really . Really bad cop out on her behalf. You didn't ask us a Q. You made a statement about why you think you have the right to judge your GF. She's free to do whatever & whoever she wants. If you don't like her behavior, her answer or her upbringing, you are free to stop dating her. What you shouldn't do is try to make her feel bad about her choices. That is not your call. You are not her confessor or her conscience. If this is the same girl from your post a few weeks ago, just be done already. Edited March 25 by d0nnivain 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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