Saw Bf texting his friend about a hot girl at work

[Anxious soul]

Hello,

My husbands phone chimed and he asked me to check his phone. It was a message from his dad. I did not stop there and opened his guy friend chat( I know I know). I saw he said something like “ there is this hot girl starting at work” “ getting hard… oops I mean doing hardwork” messages like this. I don’t know if this is something all men talk about. Or is my husband up to something. We have been married for two years now. I want to bring this up to him because I am getting anxious and overthinking about all this when he goes to work.

[Wiseman2]

Is he your BF or your husband? How long have you been together? 

How old is he? If he trusts you to check his phone it doesn't seem like he is trying to hide anything.

Maybe it's just stupid lockerroom talk, but you could tell him you decided to rifle through his phone and were upset by your findings. 

[d0nnivain]

It's how men talk.  Men are visual creatures & will respond to what they see.  It's crass but not necessarily relationship ending or an indication that he wants to cheat.  Still you need to tell him you read the exchange & it hurt your feelings.  

[Alpacalia]

Agree with @d0nnivain. I get that his choice of words wasn't cool and you unintentionally saw his texts, so it's important to have a conversation with him about it and let him know how it made you feel. But there's no reason to jump to conclusions and assume he did something wrong. I mean, guys do talk about women with their friends, it's not a big deal. And let's be real, women do it too. But just a friendly reminder, snooping through someone's phone is a major breach of trust, so try not to do it again.

[smackie9]

Stop reading his messages. 

[ZA Dater]

On 3/6/2024 at 3:13 AM, Anxious soul said:

Hello,

My husbands phone chimed and he asked me to check his phone. It was a message from his dad. I did not stop there and opened his guy friend chat( I know I know). I saw he said something like “ there is this hot girl starting at work” “ getting hard… oops I mean doing hardwork” messages like this. I don’t know if this is something all men talk about. Or is my husband up to something. We have been married for two years now. I want to bring this up to him because I am getting anxious and overthinking about all this when he goes to work.

In my opinion the entire exchange is quite offensive and not appropriate. I encounter similar comments passed by a friend of mine fairly often and it does not sit well wit me, especially because he is not single. In my opinion your concerns are valid, though its a potentially an explosive discussion to have. Maybe determine how much you trust him and then determine if you want to bring it up.