penkitten Posted November 29, 2005 Share Posted November 29, 2005 doesnt it ever upset you that you "changed him and made him happy and pleasant to enjoy life again" and he goes home to someone else? if you really could choose , would you choose to send him home to someone else or choose to just be with him all the time? who do you think you're fooling? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lyubimaya Posted November 29, 2005 Author Share Posted November 29, 2005 I choose to have time to myself. In my original post, I explained this - that I do not want to be with anyone fulltime. I don't feel that I'm fooling myself or the MM. I know what I want, what this is, and have come to terms with it years ago. And I'm still the happiest chic around. And over the years, it's gotten even better. I tried to explain my story here, and knew I was going to catch some heat for it. I have met only one other mistress like me - been with her MM 11 years now. I came here to see if there are others like me, but it just seems like all I'm doing here is defending myself - cause everyone's all concerned for the W. (and honestly I don't care what anyone thinks - yes, I'm heartless, horrible, and whatever). So to sum this up, it's like this - I prefer having my own life, I don't want him with me 24/7, I am not bothered that he's married, I tell him to sleep with the W to keep her happy, I don't care what the W would feel or think, I love him, but am not consumed by him, and I'm always looking out for me first - not him. As selfish as this may sound - it's all about me. And with that last statement, I'm probably done posting here, cause I know i'm certainly going to get lynched for that. But whatever. Regardless of one's marital status, it's too bad that more of you can't be happy...Scarlet - get a hold of me by sending me a personal message.... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
erika2610 Posted November 29, 2005 Share Posted November 29, 2005 I choose to have time to myself. In my original post, I explained this - that I do not want to be with anyone fulltime. I don't feel that I'm fooling myself or the MM. I know what I want, what this is, and have come to terms with it years ago. And I'm still the happiest chic around. And over the years, it's gotten even better. I tried to explain my story here, and knew I was going to catch some heat for it. I have met only one other mistress like me - been with her MM 11 years now. I came here to see if there are others like me, but it just seems like all I'm doing here is defending myself - cause everyone's all concerned for the W. (and honestly I don't care what anyone thinks - yes, I'm heartless, horrible, and whatever). So to sum this up, it's like this - I prefer having my own life, I don't want him with me 24/7, I am not bothered that he's married, I tell him to sleep with the W to keep her happy, I don't care what the W would feel or think, I love him, but am not consumed by him, and I'm always looking out for me first - not him. As selfish as this may sound - it's all about me. And with that last statement, I'm probably done posting here, cause I know i'm certainly going to get lynched for that. But whatever. Regardless of one's marital status, it's too bad that more of you can't be happy...Scarlet - get a hold of me by sending me a personal message.... Are you really a Happy Other Woman? Or just pretending to be one? And how happy can you be knowing that you sleep with this man, and he goes home to his wofe and does the same thing? Don't you think you deserve better? Link to post Share on other sites
Hot Coco Posted November 29, 2005 Share Posted November 29, 2005 Are you really a Happy Other Woman? Or just pretending to be one? And how happy can you be knowing that you sleep with this man, and he goes home to his wofe and does the same thing? Don't you think you deserve better? She neither wants nor thinks she deserves better. Link to post Share on other sites
penkitten Posted November 29, 2005 Share Posted November 29, 2005 I choose to have time to myself. In my original post, I explained this - that I do not want to be with anyone fulltime. I don't feel that I'm fooling myself or the MM. I know what I want, what this is, and have come to terms with it years ago. And I'm still the happiest chic around. And over the years, it's gotten even better. I tried to explain my story here, and knew I was going to catch some heat for it. I have met only one other mistress like me - been with her MM 11 years now. I came here to see if there are others like me, but it just seems like all I'm doing here is defending myself - cause everyone's all concerned for the W. (and honestly I don't care what anyone thinks - yes, I'm heartless, horrible, and whatever). So to sum this up, it's like this - I prefer having my own life, I don't want him with me 24/7, I am not bothered that he's married, I tell him to sleep with the W to keep her happy, I don't care what the W would feel or think, I love him, but am not consumed by him, and I'm always looking out for me first - not him. As selfish as this may sound - it's all about me. And with that last statement, I'm probably done posting here, cause I know i'm certainly going to get lynched for that. But whatever. Regardless of one's marital status, it's too bad that more of you can't be happy...Scarlet - get a hold of me by sending me a personal message.... i think you deserve to be happier than what you say you are. i also think that if marriage is bad enough where he needs to look in other places to find happiness , then he should get a divorce and be with whoever makes him happy. i also think that his wife deserves someone who doesnt cheat on her. but who cares what i think, it seems to be a hot topic here on this site , heck they have a whole catergory devoted to the other woman / man. i am new to this site , so apparently i thought there would be a bunch of threads in here like these for example : my husband is cheating with a hussy my wife is a wh ore and is cheating with my best friend and my personal favorite : what the heck is this guy calling my house in the middle of the night all the time for? when i saw yours, i wanted to offer support. i think you deserve to be happy and reading your post automatically made me feel like you wanted some support, you wanted people to say what you are doing is ok. ultimately its your choice to have an affair with a married man for whatever reasons you want, hey its free choice. however, i feel like its been spoonfed to you so he can have his cake and eat it to. what good is a discussion forum if you cant discuss things ? Link to post Share on other sites
erika2610 Posted November 29, 2005 Share Posted November 29, 2005 i think you deserve to be happier than what you say you are. i also think that if marriage is bad enough where he needs to look in other places to find happiness , then he should get a divorce and be with whoever makes him happy. i also think that his wife deserves someone who doesnt cheat on her. but who cares what i think, it seems to be a hot topic here on this site , heck they have a whole catergory devoted to the other woman / man. i am new to this site , so apparently i thought there would be a bunch of threads in here like these for example : my husband is cheating with a hussy my wife is a wh ore and is cheating with my best friend and my personal favorite : what the heck is this guy calling my house in the middle of the night all the time for? when i saw yours, i wanted to offer support. i think you deserve to be happy and reading your post automatically made me feel like you wanted some support, you wanted people to say what you are doing is ok. ultimately its your choice to have an affair with a married man for whatever reasons you want, hey its free choice. however, i feel like its been spoonfed to you so he can have his cake and eat it to. what good is a discussion forum if you cant discuss things ? The thing with an OW is.. she's not going to leave the relationship until she's ready to.. or he breaks up with her, whichever comes first. When I was with my MM, NOONE could tell me to leave. I was happy at the time. The last thing I thought about was the W while I was with him. He treated me better than anyone had ever treated me.. because I gave him what he wanted. I couldn't actually see the truth until the end.. until I was in a bad situation and he basically spit in my face. Eventually the blinders come off. Everybody needs to learn their own lessons for themselves.. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
newbby Posted November 29, 2005 Share Posted November 29, 2005 i have to agree lub, it does SOUND as though you have convinced yourself of your happiness in this situation due to whatever personal limitations you have placed on yourself that wont allow you to have a loving exclusive relationship. however i suspect those feelings would be so deeply buried by now that it would take a lot of strength to dig them out and a real reason to have to. on the other hand maybe you really are completely happy and people dont understand because its not conventional. i certainly wanted this situation with my ex mm, AFTER i accepted that i was in deeply, i can say that i have commitment phobias etc that would keep me from wanting an exclusive relationship, but does that mean i am happy in this kind of situation or does it mean i am just settling for whatever is easiest for me? its hard to say. Link to post Share on other sites
No Stress Lady Posted December 23, 2005 Share Posted December 23, 2005 I totally understand your attitude and feel exactly the same about the MM I have been involved with - I have a full life myself and my MM are just enhancements to my life - not the axis of my life. Like I said in an earlier post - don't get involved if you're not strong enough. Link to post Share on other sites
ahotmess Posted December 23, 2005 Share Posted December 23, 2005 This should be the first post everyone reads....you should be strong...and know exactly what you are getting into before you start an A. I know there are some fairy tales out there....but just knowing how rare they are...arm yourself before you go out there! I thought I was strong enough...I didn't care about him sleeping with someone else...I just got to a point where I wanted him to become a part of my life....and the pain started when I realized he wasn't going to do that. Link to post Share on other sites
scaredinlove Posted December 23, 2005 Share Posted December 23, 2005 For a while I was like that with my MM too,but the more I get involved with him the harder it is too accept the situation. He says he has no sex with his wife,I believe it but still I feel jealous.I don't think we are going to be together ever, and that depresses me. I feel very upset specially on weekends when I can't talk too him,I only call him at work .I hate when he goes on vacation and i cannot see him.But like you I've rather have him part time then not have him at all. Link to post Share on other sites
BUTAFLY Posted December 25, 2005 Share Posted December 25, 2005 I think its wonderful that you're so open minded about your relationship with MM. I am currently thinking of starting a relationship, only something casual with MM, any ideas? lol Do u give me the go ahead? NO!!!!! people this is sick....what are you/(we) doing...I understand for falling for man that happens to be married, but purposly going after a MM ....thats just wrong!..Im fight the urges myself but God willing will give me the strength to stay away. I met my guy at work while he was engaged which i didn't know about and when i did find out many months of dating down the line i broke it off with him....does not mean my feelings for him are no longer...they are still their but it just comes down to right and wrong.. i know that he is married it is absolutlly wrong to be with him. PLUS i don't want a man who is sooooo willing to leave the women he is with everytime a new pretty thing walks by. how do i know he wont do that to me. You can never trust him. Link to post Share on other sites
lilmoma1973 Posted December 25, 2005 Share Posted December 25, 2005 I personally wouldn't want to play second fiddle to noone!! I am type of person that wants alot of attention and devotion to me as well as my family and when being a mistress you are settling and i just couldn't do that!! Some men will never leave their spouse and i couldn't except that fact i want to be the one and only !! Just MO Link to post Share on other sites
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