Afraid of burning alive in car crash

[Raddu]

All my life I have been afraid of burning alive in a car or bus crash. I don't drive but I take the bus because I need to.

There was that bus crash in italy where it caught fire a few months ago and I happened to pass on the same highway a day earlier. While I was afraid of burning before, I am now even more terrified.

I also did a stupid thing and I looked for videos of people burning alive in cars, and I saw one with a girl that was stuck in a car and at first she called after her mother, after which she constantly screamed for about 2 minutes until she dies. They were the most vicios horrendous screams I ever heard, and people were trying to get her out but they couldn't, and at first the fire was covering only part of the car, but after about minute it covered the whole car and she was still screaming.

Now I cant get it out of my head, and while it does affect me because of what horrible thing can happen to someone, it affects me more because I am afraid it could happen to me. And there is no way to make sure this will never happen to me. Even if I never drive, people burn in buses too, like those people in Italy.

So I don't know what to do. Even if I go to therapy, it still wont save me from this, and it could still happen to me.

[Wiseman2]

Therapy could help you get some control over and relief from these phobias. In the meantime, please stop doom scrolling.

Edited February 27 by Wiseman2

[Alpacalia]

I'll share with you something that happened to me a few months ago...

I have a confession to make: I am not a fan of flying. Sure, I do it when necessary, but deep down, I dislike it. So when I had to take a bus to the airport for a recent trip, I was relieved. Buses have always made me feel safe. But my relief was short-lived as the bus broke down on the way to the airport, at night no less. And to make matters worse, we had to walk alongside a bridge and a busy highway to reach the replacement bus. As someone who has a fear of bridges and highways, I felt a surge of fear and panic. In that moment, I dug deep and found my bravery. I boldly told the person in front of me to move aside so I could walk faster. I focused on my breathing and imagined myself in a calming location. And when I needed help, an 80-year-old man stepped in and walked with me. With his support, I made it to the replacement bus and allowed myself to feel and process the fear and panic. It wasn't easy, but I was proud of myself for staying calm and coping in the moment. This experience taught me that bravery can conquer fear, and even strangers can come together to offer support. So don't be afraid to acknowledge your fears, but also remember to find strength and resilience within yourself when facing them. And always be grateful for the kindness and help of others.

I agree that therapy can be really helpful in managing fear and panic.

Hopefully my experience can give you some solace (or maybe a good chuckle) but also to remind you that in those moments, it's important to find ways to cope and to also ask for help if needed.

Take deep breaths, focus on a calming place or memory, and try to find someone who can support you. You got this! 

[Els]

It sounds like an anxiety disorder that a therapist could definitely help you with. Cognitive behavioural therapy, breathing exercises, mindfulness, etc are all extremely useful in dealing with anxiety, and a good therapist will help you navigate them.

Realistically speaking, the biggest risk to everyone (in a developed/safe country, anyway) is aging - we're all going to age, and that will put us at progressively higher risk for illness and death in almost all measures. So basically, the biggest risk to your life is already happening and it's inevitable. Might as well live life while you still have it, instead of ruminating on potential accidents.

[Alpacalia]

Good point, Els.

And it's the meat of it really, it's not having a sense of control for you, rather than the fact your existential dread picks such a specific thing.

I don't know if you're like I am in so far as, other risks and dangers don't occupy your mind and keep you up at night worrying, but this one thing really grips you.

It's always worse in our heads, like you rationalize with yourself and come up with a few measures you could take to overcome it better and feel better prepared, but ultimately life is a game we're all playing blindfolded, and there's no clear answer. You never know what will happen the next day, be it bus fire or earthquake or whatever.

It's all about coming to terms with living with the unknown, rather than strategies to eliminate it, because you can't always.