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Lost friendships


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I have a friend where a group of us all used to go for night outs, meals, festivals and concerts etc. He mentioned a few times over the years about a guy who he was friends with but the friend cut him off 17 years ago as he got married, he said this in 2019.

This friend who had dropped him contacted him in lockdown and as a result my friend has dropped everyone to go to rock gigs and play board game with this guy and another couple on a regular basis. He always went to rock gigs with the other couple.

Last night we went for a meal as we rarely see him now and he said he can't be doing nightclubs now. It made me sad how we had good times and now he isn't bothered about seeing us aside a 3 monthly meal catch up. This friend has lost lots of other friendships in the last year including childhood friends and has blamed others for the fall outs though it was always them contacting him and he said they have deleted him on Facebook and he does not know why. I was always the one contacting him.

2 other friends were the same, there was a group of us who went hiking and soon as they met their partners they stopped hiking even though they did hiking since childhood and stopped their hobbies. The 1 has completely cut us all off now she had her second child though still keeps in touch with another friend.

I understand you can't force people to be friends with you but it makes me sad they don't want to be friends anymore. I can't understand why the friend who had someone drop him for 17 years drops everyone else who was there for him when this guy dropped him. I still have lots of friends. It feels hard to find genuine friends and people's friendships have changed since covid.

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9 hours ago, Angel29 said:

I still have lots of friends.

So what's the actual problem? It's a natural progression of things, as people age and develop further their attitudes change and they may decide they no longer want to maintain meaningless associations. 

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ShyViolet

This is just a normal part of life.  Friends come and go.  Just because you were close friends with someone at one time, that doesn't mean it will stay that way forever.  People's priorities change.  You can't control other people.  Let it go and make new friends.

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I see two old school friends about four times a year.  Instead of being sad, we're grateful for these catchups while understanding that each of us now has full lives and families independently of each other.  

Meanwhile, others have drifted away.  It's all quite normal

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