Trinity Swanson S Posted February 18 Share Posted February 18 I am a 23 year old woman who is the maid of honor in my friends wedding. She chose to have a joint bachelor/ bachelorette trip with her fiancé and all their friends so, they decided the easiest option was to go on a cruise. Well, all of the other 10 people joining us on said cruise, all have a significant other to share a room with. Except me. And one other groomsman. My friend asked if i was ok with it, I could share a room with him cause it’d be cheaper for both of us, and I did accept because in all reality, neither one of us will be spending much time in said room. Fast forward a few months, and I’m talking with her about it and she is just brushing it off and saying it’s not a big deal. Which i do agree with in the general scheme of things. She also jokingly mentions how it could be a good time for me to finally get laid. However, I don’t really know this man. I know some general details of him, what he does for work, his friends, things like that. Am I nuts for freaking out on the inside about sharing a room with him? And am i also expecting too much to come out of this? Link to post Share on other sites
Weezy1973 Posted February 18 Share Posted February 18 14 minutes ago, Trinity Swanson S said: Am I nuts for freaking out on the inside about sharing a room with him? And am i also expecting too much to come out of this? It’s unclear why you’re freaking out on the inside. Do you want to have sex with this groomsman you’ve never met? Or are you scared for your safety sharing a room with a man you’ve never met? Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted February 18 Share Posted February 18 Weezy has just posed one of my questions. My other question is relates to you "expecting too much to come out of this". What are you expecting? Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted February 18 Share Posted February 18 Do you think "cause it’d be cheaper for both of us" is a good reason? Do you think this statement is rather crass, as if you're the "entertainment" for this guy? 'it could be a good time for me to finally get laid" Link to post Share on other sites
Alpacalia Posted February 19 Share Posted February 19 Not something I would be comfortable with and my friends would not volunteer me for it but maybe they would, who knows. I mean, it's one thing for your friends wanting some romance for you in your life but it's quite another to volunteer to give you a one night stand. Link to post Share on other sites
SlimShadysWife Posted February 19 Share Posted February 19 No you are not nuts for not feeling comfortable with sharing a room with a man, one you don't really know at that. Why would she suggest that, and why would you accept- is she paying? Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted February 19 Share Posted February 19 I would be highly insulted that my friend would expect me and be okay with sharing a room with a man I did or did not know. If I couldn't afford my own room alone in this case, I would not go. The finally getting laid comment would really piss me off. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted February 19 Share Posted February 19 Never in a million year! You don't know this man and people on cruises tend to overdrink. Your friend isn't really a friend if she thinks it's appropriate to set you up in a bedroom with a man you don't know! There are crimes all the times on those cruise ships from theft to rape to murder. Nothing is gonna come out of having sex with a drunk stranger! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mortensorchid Posted February 20 Share Posted February 20 Do you know this guy at all? Granted yes people tend to get fall down, stupid drunk on cruises and do just that. I also think that's odd that she would say it would be cheaper for you to bunk with this guy. But if you don't know this guy and you REALLY don't want to spend the time in the same room with him, then by all means you can say you're not comfortable with this. Years ago I took a trip to England where I met a friend from California there (long story). We stayed at a youth hostel and when we got to the room, we were sleeping in a common room full of bunk beds (about 20 beds in the room). And they were all guys and me and her. I said "I'm sleeping in a room with you and me and 10 guys?!?!" The situation was strange to be sure, but it was a hotel not a cruise situation. It was all business. We had a nodding acquaintance (like people who see each other on a public bus everyday but never say anything to each other), when I was going to change my clothes I would say "Excuse me" and they would turn their backs. It was fine. Then again, this is the world we live in now - ride shares and AirBnB. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted February 20 Share Posted February 20 You already said yes. If you have put down deposits you might not yet your $$ back. The other person is probably relying on you to afford this. Having to pay double, because that is what cruise lines do, may affect him. Sharing with a man you don't know is odd but if you have some time can you at least meet him? At the very least video chat with him so you can both talk about expectations. If you have your reservation # contact the cruise line directly and make sure they know you want the twin bed configuration. If you don't contact them, they will think you are a couple & they will push the beds together. Staying in a room in a twin bed with this guy might not be horrible. Pack very unsexy PJs & a robe. No you do not get a robe on the cruise unless you are in a high end suite. If you can afford a suite, you can afford your own cabin. If you both get changed in the tiny bathroom it should be fine. You are correct that not a lot of time will be spent in the cabin but do understand because everybody else is coupled up you two will be treated like a unit by your friends . . . sitting together on excursions etc. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted February 20 Share Posted February 20 On 2/18/2024 at 4:32 PM, Trinity Swanson S said: Am I nuts for freaking out on the inside about sharing a room with him? And am i also expecting too much to come out of this? You should have never agreed to do this if you are now questioning it. What other expectations do you have about this other than staying in the room with this dude at night? Link to post Share on other sites
ASG Posted February 20 Share Posted February 20 (edited) I have done just that. I was going to an event, hotel based, and sharing a room would be cheaper. I posted on the message boards for that event, and got a roomie. A guy, I'd never met. And not just a room, but he'd booked a double bed, not twins. And you know what? It was absolutely fine! I ended up sharing rooms with that particular guy for the next 12 years. Nothing sexual has ever EVER happened between us, we are just good friends! Now, this is a friend of a friend, you will be sharing with, so also not a complete stranger. Obviously, it is valid for you to be uncomfortable with the situation, but honestly, it will probably be fine! Maybe add him on social media and exchange a few messages (this is what I did with the guy I shared with, who was a complete stranger at the time! Not a friend of friends! I was new to those events, and hadn't met any of the regulars, which this guy was). Don't overthink it and don't fo into it thinking about hooking up with the guy! Edited February 20 by ASG clarification of a point Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted February 20 Share Posted February 20 I think it's insane for her to expect you to be okay with that. It's fine if you yourself suggested it or volunteered, but when she asked you specifically, there would have been some pressure on you to accept, and that's really not cool on her behalf IMO. Plus the "getting laid" joke was really crass. I did ask my bridesmaids to share rooms with each other as I was paying, but it was always the same gender only. I would never have asked them to share with a different gender. If I were you I would decline unless you actually want to do this. You don't have to do something you're not comfortable with just so your friend can save a few bucks. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ASG Posted February 20 Share Posted February 20 3 minutes ago, Els said: I think it's insane for her to expect you to be okay with that. It's fine if you yourself suggested it or volunteered, but when she asked you specifically, there would have been some pressure on you to accept, and that's really not cool on her behalf IMO. Plus the "getting laid" joke was really crass. I did ask my bridesmaids to share rooms with each other as I was paying, but it was always the same gender only. I would never have asked them to share with a different gender. If I were you I would decline unless you actually want to do this. You don't have to do something you're not comfortable with just so your friend can save a few bucks. OP and the other guy are paying for the cabin, not the bride! It was so THEY could save money. She can still get her own cabinm if she so chooses! Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted February 20 Share Posted February 20 (edited) 8 minutes ago, ASG said: OP and the other guy are paying for the cabin, not the bride! It was so THEY could save money. She can still get her own cabinm if she so chooses! Interesting, when the OP said "both of us", I thought she meant "you and me" - ie. that the bride was going to pay part of it. Edited February 20 by Els Link to post Share on other sites
ASG Posted February 20 Share Posted February 20 10 minutes ago, Els said: Interesting, when the OP said "both of us", I thought she meant "you and me" - ie. that the bride was going to pay part of it. I read it as both the OP and the other guy she would be sharing with. As that's what would make sense. Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted February 20 Share Posted February 20 28 minutes ago, ASG said: I read it as both the OP and the other guy she would be sharing with. As that's what would make sense. Yeah, that's possible. I guess I'm just not understanding why the bride would get involved in that case (wouldn't the bridal/grooms party be sorting it out among themselves?), and I also don't understand why the OP would say yes and then "freak out inside" later. If there's no peer pressure going on, why say yes to something you're uncomfortable with? OP, I think you have some clarification to do. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ASG Posted February 20 Share Posted February 20 35 minutes ago, Els said: Yeah, that's possible. I guess I'm just not understanding why the bride would get involved in that case (wouldn't the bridal/grooms party be sorting it out among themselves?), and I also don't understand why the OP would say yes and then "freak out inside" later. If there's no peer pressure going on, why say yes to something you're uncomfortable with? OP, I think you have some clarification to do. Just to make it easier for them both? On cruise ships, everything is based on a 2 person occupancy, so even if you get a cabin to yourself, you end up having to pay for 2 people regardless. I guess she was just trying to be helpful. Why the OP said yes, then freaked out, is a different matter entirely. But I guess peer pressure does exist, because we're talking about double the price for each of them, if they don't share! Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted February 20 Share Posted February 20 (edited) Personally the remark about "it's time to get laid" is pretty atrocious, so the offense has nothing to do with "budget travel". It doesn't seem like there will be any further clarification. JOINED Sunday at 04:34 PM LAST VISITED Sunday at 06:51 PM Edited February 20 by Wiseman2 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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