Job that Fits Your Lifestyle or More Pay?

[Alpacalia]

I applied for a couple of jobs recently and immediately received a call back and have several interviews set up. I currently work for a client that came via a business connection and recommendation and it is mostly remote but I have to travel a long distance a couple days a week which will be challenging for me with my Dad coming to stay with me for six months to help him post-stroke.

I know I am getting a bit ahead of myself, but the one job would require me to be in office and the pay is more whereas the other job is hybrid remote which is less pay but would fit much better with my schedule.

I'm wondering what your thoughts on salary negotiations when a job requires certain amount of in office time is. I know there will be more costs associated with commuting and such and that I shouldn't just do the job for the money but it would makes sense to bring it up in the negotiation process, right?

Should I be upfront with both employers about my situation and see if they can accommodate me? Or should I wait to see which job is offered and then discuss it with the employer?

I've been doing mostly contract freelance work which I set my own schedule and pay so this would be 1st time non-freelance job in quite a few years so I'm not sure if that might change negotiating? 

Edited February 15 by Alpacalia

[RandallHare]

It's very hard to adjust to a certain work that doesn't fit one's lifestyle. I need freedom more than money, so if I were you, I would try to negotiate with the employer who offers a job that fits my lifestyle. I don't have to adjust anymore and I can get the amount of money I need which will then suit and support the kind of lifestyle that I already have.

[d0nnivain]

I think you need to do a pros & cons list.  The metric will be different for everybody, because each factor will have a unique weight to you.  

[Alpacalia]

4 hours ago, d0nnivain said:

I think you need to do a pros & cons list.  The metric will be different for everybody, because each factor will have a unique weight to you.  

That's why my most recent ex said. He gives really good advice and we're still cordial but I wanted to see what others thought too!! He joked that's what I did when I was weighing whether to go to Europe with him, ha!

Thanks

[d0nnivain]

I'm currently doing the same analysis in my own life.  

[Foxhall]

11 hours ago, Alpacalia said:

he other job is hybrid remote which is less pay but would fit much better with my schedule.

 

if your happier with the schedule you will feel more motivated,

Id take the hybrid option most likely,

(However- I have often taken the wrong option ...............)

In terms of the pay negotiation- it would seem reasonable to ask for an overnight allowance if you are needing a hotel stay or anything,

then the other side of it- Have you another family member who can step in for a night or two,

sometimes if your performing the role of a carer- a break can also be needed- you might enjoy getting away for a day or two.

 

 

 

Edited February 15 by Foxhall

[Alpacalia]

3 hours ago, Foxhall said:

 

if your happier with the schedule you will feel more motivated,

Id take the hybrid option most likely,

(However- I have often taken the wrong option ...............)

In terms of the pay negotiation- it would seem reasonable to ask for an overnight allowance if you are needing a hotel stay or anything,

then the other side of it- Have you another family member who can step in for a night or two,

sometimes if your performing the role of a carer- a break can also be needed- you might enjoy getting away for a day or two.

 

 

 

Yes, I think you're right! I think the initial interview went well.  I would need to be on-site more which makes me a bit nervous with my pops, but I do have a brother that can step in at points so that will give me some respite. I joined this caregiving group for extra support, most of the participants are women caretaking their husband's with Cancer and they are so despondent and a few years down the road caring and their spouses are still alive.  Not bad, but, tiring; so I'll try to keep that in mind. We're due to go to lunch next week, they're cute little old ladies, probably in their 80's, they get my situation. Hey if you have often taken the wrong option that just mean's you're more experienced!

Edited February 16 by Alpacalia

[Wiseman2]

There's not much you can do until the job is offered. Of course you can negotiate as far as time off, salary , benefits, etc. but commuting reimbursement is unusual. They're not responsible for where you are located. 

Edited February 16 by Wiseman2

[Alpacalia]

Oh no, I don't want them to reimburse me for commuting. If I do the Hybrid Remote job, I wouldn't have that traveling time and would get paid less but if I am in office more I would want to have a higher salary? Right now, the salary being offered is higher than the Hybrid but it is in a range so I am not sure what to ask as there is no base, just a range. But yes, not much I can do until the 1st job actually extends an offer.

Edited February 16 by Alpacalia

[Foxhall]

13 hours ago, Alpacalia said:

most of the participants are women caretaking their husband's with Cancer

veering off topic, but that just stuck in my mind,

Its true I guess men will likely develop more sickness and die earlier on average.

 

[FMW]

As was suggested, the pro and con list is a very good tool for this type of thing.  Seeing things in black and white doesn't just give you an analytical reference, for me at least it also usually brings up feelings I may not have been paying attention to.  I think that combination usually leads to the best decision making.  

[goldengirls]

I am sooo struggling with this as well right now.  I’m doing the more money job and I’m burnt out bad.  It’s almost not worth it with how unhappy I am.  I’m now re-evaluating what really and truly made me happy in the past (job wise) and I’m leaning towards going back to it.  I just need a job that brings out a little more passion for it in me than a job that pays great money.  I would be taking a big loss also and that’s a huge struggle right now as everything from rent to food has gone up lol 

but in the end, your happiness is what’s most important 

[Alpacalia]

18 minutes ago, goldengirls said:

I am sooo struggling with this as well right now.  I’m doing the more money job and I’m burnt out bad.  It’s almost not worth it with how unhappy I am.  I’m now re-evaluating what really and truly made me happy in the past (job wise) and I’m leaning towards going back to it.  I just need a job that brings out a little more passion for it in me than a job that pays great money.  I would be taking a big loss also and that’s a huge struggle right now as everything from rent to food has gone up lol 

but in the end, your happiness is what’s most important 

Thanks. I am just trying to think of the practicality of decreasing income so much and working out budgets. Plus family and my role as caregiver, there will be less money coming in but I can be at home more to take care of him. Oh food has really gone up. I read somewhere a few months ago that grocery prices have increased over 50 per cent and rent has gone up 14 per cent since pandemic to March. Hope something comes up for you soon.

[Els]

I don't think you should discuss this with them until you get an offer. There's typically a bit of a sunk cost thing going on where once the hiring team has decided on a candidate, they will be more likely to be willing to negotiate. Whereas if you are asking for things right off the bat, they might be inclined to go with the other candidate if the two of you are roughly equal otherwise. Just my experience from being on the hiring side in a previous job - of course it depends on many other factors as well.

That being said, as long as my finances are okay, I'll go with lifestyle every time. There's a certain amount that I need to be comfortable, and anything below that drastically decreases my happiness, but more than that doesn't make that much difference for me. I think it might help to determine that point for yourself.

[Alpacalia]

On 2/16/2024 at 8:57 AM, Els said:

I don't think you should discuss this with them until you get an offer. There's typically a bit of a sunk cost thing going on where once the hiring team has decided on a candidate, they will be more likely to be willing to negotiate. Whereas if you are asking for things right off the bat, they might be inclined to go with the other candidate if the two of you are roughly equal otherwise. Just my experience from being on the hiring side in a previous job - of course it depends on many other factors as well.

That being said, as long as my finances are okay, I'll go with lifestyle every time. There's a certain amount that I need to be comfortable, and anything below that drastically decreases my happiness, but more than that doesn't make that much difference for me. I think it might help to determine that point for yourself.

I appreciate that advice. They want me to come in for a formal interview (initially it was a quick zoom and they decided they wanted to meet me). 

Saw a useful tip recently in response to job offer/negotiations related q's. Something along the lines of "if they say congratulations, you are our selected candidate, did you want some time to think it over/off the bat (regardless of an official offer at that time)?"

I always feel a bit corny doing it, but using the time to think card during the offer stage is such a good move. I used to be more competitive and wanted to seem like I'd risk everything for the job, but really most times the employer needs just as much or more out of you than you need out of them.