NEG Posted February 10 Share Posted February 10 I just wanted to share a quick story with you guys and some will say I'm crazy! I have been in love once in my life, and it was approximately 12 years ago. With her, it was love at first sight and it was very real. Fast forward 12 years later and a handful of failed relationships, and I've started talking to someone online who I am experiencing what I believe is true love again. The crazy part about this is that I've only known her for about a week, and only seriously talked to her for about 48 hours. We've both shared live photos over Snapchat to verify ourselves and our feelings and emotions have been openly mutual. For the sake of normalcy, we have not announced our love for one another however we've said things that come as close as possible to directly stating it. She's getting over being sick currently, but we're planning our first date for next weekend. She's about 2 hours away which is very doable. I've been on lots of dates and talked to lots of people, all of which did not amount to anything. Nothing has come even remotely close to the powerful feelings I have for her and in such short time. I've been searching for this feeling with somebody for a long time, and I didn't think it could happen to me again. It's happening as I write this post, and of course taking me by storm. I'm definitely going through the positive emotions that come with it, and I'm not afraid to admit it as a guy. The anticipation to see her is real, and I am beyond excited. I can only hope that I've found my forever girl and can finally get myself off the market. I'm happy to share updates after I meet her for anyone interested! "Crazy love" is real and I'm out to prove it. Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted February 10 Share Posted February 10 You're having a bad case of infatuation. It has nothing to do with love. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author NEG Posted February 10 Author Share Posted February 10 10 minutes ago, Gaeta said: You're having a bad case of infatuation. It has nothing to do with love. I appreciate the feedback, but I highly disagree. I also feel that people have different experiences with love, and defining it in general. Only time will tell. Link to post Share on other sites
Alpacalia Posted February 10 Share Posted February 10 Be careful, have fun and let her show you who she is rather than wanting what you're hoping for. Good luck and enjoy the moments. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted February 10 Share Posted February 10 This would absolutely not align with my own definition of true love, no. Everyone is different, so all I can say is that I urge you to keep perspective and not get thrills and excitement steer the ship. You don’t know her at all. Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted February 10 Share Posted February 10 (edited) Here is some reading for you: you need to schroll up, somehow it opens up in midfle. https://psychcentral.com/relationships/love-versus-infatuation#infatuation-in-a-relationship Edited February 10 by Gaeta Link to post Share on other sites
Author NEG Posted February 10 Author Share Posted February 10 3 minutes ago, ExpatInItaly said: This would absolutely not align with my own definition of true love, no. Everyone is different, so all I can say is that I urge you to keep perspective and not get thrills and excitement steer the ship. You don’t know her at all. I'm genuinely curious to hear your definition of true love. I like to see it from other's perspectives, too. Link to post Share on other sites
Author NEG Posted February 10 Author Share Posted February 10 5 minutes ago, Gaeta said: Here is some reading for you: you need to schroll up, somehow it opens up in midfle. https://psychcentral.com/relationships/love-versus-infatuation#infatuation-in-a-relationship Thanks for the article - I read through it to the end and still disagree with most of it. As a matter of fact, the author at the end acknowledges that true love can start with "infatuation", which is essentially saying that love IS infatuation. I would never want to be with a person who I wasn't infatuated with. The best relationship of my life was with the girl I fell in love with at first sight 12 years ago, and that infatuation was exactly what made it special. Any relationship I've had since has not held a candle to it or the feelings I had with her. At the end of the day, even if I were to agree this was a situation of infatuation vs. love, I would still pick infatuation because the feelings are powerful and undeniable - And that feels good and gives a reason to be alive. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted February 10 Share Posted February 10 (edited) Love at first sight is real in one sense . . . you feel these powerful emotions & an overwhelming pull. It can be wonderful when that brings you together. But it's NOT love. It's lust. I'm not knocking it; I need that initial spark. But real love, a lifetime of happily ever after takes time to build. You can't be in love with somebody you don't know. You have to take the time to get to know each other . . to live, to laugh, to love and to lose. It helps to go through a whole year together, to celebrate together & to mourn together. That is how you fall in true love. You are off to a wonderful start but don't mix up chemistry with genuine commitment. Genuine love is when you both want to be there for each other in the worst of time, not just when it's all fun, breezy & easy. Edited February 10 by d0nnivain 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Alpacalia Posted February 10 Share Posted February 10 I agree with @d0nnivain I fell in love with a boyfriend after he was there for me during a very traumatic event. I remember when we first got together, we were just friends for a few months. We would hang out all the time, go on adventures, and have deep conversations. I always enjoyed his company, but never thought of him as anything more than a friend. However, everything changed when something terrible happened to me. I won't go into specific details, but it was a very difficult and emotional time for me. I was struggling to cope and didn't know how to handle my emotions. My boyfriend was there for me every step of the way. He listened to me, comforted me, and made me laugh when I thought I would never be able to smile again. He showed me so much love and support, which I had never experienced before. As time went on, I realized that I had developed strong feelings for him. I couldn't imagine my life without him in it. He had seen the most vulnerable and broken parts of me, yet he still loved me and stood by my side. I finally mustered up the courage to tell him how I felt, and to my surprise, he felt the same way. From that moment on, our relationship took a whole new turn. So, I know you're feeling some very strong feelings towards this lady and that's wonderful, and it's born out of bravery and courage which is amazing. Just make sure that the one you do fall in love with and feel such intense things, will be there to catch you and support you in your darkest moments that has a lot to do with the caliber of that person and the character they have to see you through this difficult time, and how they value you as a person and whatever reason they value you, those are the things to watch for to make sure that this love you get is long lasting. Because "crazy love" often fades it's not like the forever kind. So, the crazy constant always being in love will fade so you must be careful where the person is still willing to give their whole heart and value you, and only then will it be that true lasting kind of love. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ShyViolet Posted February 11 Share Posted February 11 You are deluding yourself. She is a stranger who you have never met in person yet. You can't "love" someone you barely know. You are in love with the idea of her that you have in your head. This is not a healthy way to go into a first date. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
BrinnM Posted February 11 Share Posted February 11 Well, it’s great that you guys are only two hours apart. Never say never. I hope everything works out for you and keep us posted, please. Sounds intriguing. I really want to know how the first meetup works out. That’s really the one and only event that will matter in the long run. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted February 11 Share Posted February 11 15 hours ago, d0nnivain said: But real love, a lifetime of happily ever after takes time to build. You can't be in love with somebody you don't know. You have to take the time to get to know each other . . to live, to laugh, to love and to lose. It helps to go through a whole year together, to celebrate together & to mourn together. This. There is nothing wrong with the initial infatuation, OP. But it's important you don't confuse it for love. That takes time to build, after you get to know someone. It's not possible when the person is virtually a stranger to you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted February 11 Share Posted February 11 (edited) What you are feeling is dopamine being released in the brain. It distracts you from seeing reality....that's why they call it infatuation because love is completely different/more complex. The dopamine wears off. that's when you will see if you are actually in it for the long haul. Takes about 6 months to a year and a half. Edited February 11 by smackie9 Link to post Share on other sites
Nawidimaq Posted February 11 Share Posted February 11 (edited) On 2/10/2024 at 5:48 AM, NEG said: I've started talking to someone online who I am experiencing what I believe is true love again. The crazy part about this is that I've only known her for about a week, and only seriously talked to her for about 48 hours. We've both shared live photos over Snapchat to verify ourselves and our feelings and emotions have been openly mutual. For the sake of normalcy, we have not announced our love for one another however we've said things that come as close as possible to directly stating it. Rein this in until you've breathed the same air as she is breathing. Right now, you're in love with who you think she is; not who she actually is. You don't know her to love her. You love/are in love with the IDEA of her. Who you've met is her representative. Who she's met is your representative. They're both the "on their best behavior" portion of this new involvement. They will be in charge of things for the first 6 weeks, so all will be gossamer beauty and butterflies---until they're dismissed and the real you/real her come to the fore. That is when the real relationship begins where you discover what you don't like/can't abide in your life starts surfacing. You'll find out if you have a relationship that can go the distance once you get it happily past the 6 month point. Edited February 11 by Nawidimaq Link to post Share on other sites
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