MsJayne Posted February 9 Share Posted February 9 I'm a bit late entering this discussion BK, but I have to add that all those domestic violence homicides you read and hear about all started out just like the relationship you're describing. The fact that your partner has stated that he would end his life if you left him is a huge indicator that he's capable of going to extreme lengths. The person you're describing is a very unstable individual, and I really hope you take the advice offered here and get right away from him. His behaviour isn't about love, it's about being a very weak and needy person who has to rely on another person to maintain his emotional needs and his sense of self, kind of a cross between a great big baby and a vampire. And, just like a baby, he's going to lose it when when his source of comfort leaves him, so please ensure that you deliver the message to him in a safe space with witnesses. Please take care of yourself first. 5 1 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted February 9 Share Posted February 9 53 minutes ago, stillafool said: It doesn't matter that you are no longer into that or that they never were and aren't now. I'm telling you he still views them as a threat to his marriage. That is why he hates them and doesn't want you around them. Of course he isn't going to come right out and tell you that, it would make him look weak. Exactly. And this is why I advise you to not go telling him about your friend recommending that you don't marry him (or anything else your friends may say). He knows they are a threat 2 Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted February 9 Share Posted February 9 (edited) 5 hours ago, Beautiful Kisses said: I told him it’s manipulation. I’m standing my ground That’s not standing your ground. That’s playing with fire. You want to enforce a safe and healthy boundary with this man? You leave and never talk to him again. Edited February 9 by BaileyB 3 Link to post Share on other sites
ShyViolet Posted February 9 Share Posted February 9 7 hours ago, Beautiful Kisses said: I will like to try counseling but he already said he won’t do it. He said I need to put the work in we can do it together not somebody else do it for us which makes no sense because in therapy they make you do all the work for the most part they just listen You don't go to counseling with an abuser!!! There is nothing to fix here. You need to END this relationship and get AWAY from this guy. This is not the kind of relationship that you try to "fix." Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted February 9 Share Posted February 9 You're not responsible for his choices and his life. He's a grown adult, not your child. Whatever he chooses to do to himself, it's not your fault. You need to leave right now. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
fishlips Posted February 9 Share Posted February 9 Please leave this man and never look back. He is a control freak and manipulator. Don't let his crocodile tears fool you into staying. I hope you are safe and away from him by now. Maybe move if you can, or at least stay with a friend for a while. And please tell your friends and family about his. You need their support now, more than ever. Link to post Share on other sites
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