dancehead Posted February 5 Share Posted February 5 (edited) Briefly, I met some girls on a plane. I particularly liked one of them. I invited them to a bar we were going to later. I don't usually pick up girls like this nor meet girls on holiday or in clubs and score with them. I'm better at actual 'dates' whereas my friend who I was with at the bar is very good socially at bars. Anyway, they came to the bar and I was sitting next to this girl and talking to her, but my friend was on the other side of her also chatting. Eventually he sort of took over the conversation and flirting. So I talked to the other girl. Later on we were back at their hotel room. By then I felt like a third person watching my mate take her away. I was talking to the other girl who was just trying to sleep at 6am. We didn't have to be clever to know what was going on on the balcony, and they both walked in naked. This was double pain for me, I really liked her! Do I have the right to be annoyed at my mate? They never would have met had I not invited the girls to the bar. We had already made plans regardless to travel together and go out back in the UK, me and this girl. They flew home now and I haven't bothered texting either girl. I know my friend has, he is trying to help her move out to this holiday destination. We did talk about it he said sorry I didn't know you were interested in her mate! Also even though all this happened the girl next day did say we can go out back home and share a hotel room but I can't see that happening if she flies back to work in that country! Never been in this situation before and it really is bothering me. Also my friend has a gf. They split up while he was out with me but now he is back together with her, obviously the gf doesn't know about this girl. I don't think the girl knows he's back with the ex either. Anyway opinions please will help me what do you think.?? She was so beautiful and a great personality, I'm gutted! Edited February 5 by dancehead Link to post Share on other sites
Alpacalia Posted February 5 Share Posted February 5 Sounds like your typical 3rd wheel story. From the way you explain it, it just seems like you were in the wrong place at the wrong time. Perhaps your friend didn't realize you were interested in this girl and thought it was fair game. You still spoke to her and from the woman's perspective I think she sensed that you were more after her from the way you describe it. She could have said no thank you to your mate but obviously something went on after you stopped talking to her. Chances are your friend was more aggressive and snatched her away as oppose to you sitting back and letting her approach to you. I mean, both of them walking in naked, I think you need to raise your standards if you like quality women. Who does that with company in the living room. That type of behavior doesn't speak highly of them and maybe it's better it worked out this way. I think you dodged a bullet! Link to post Share on other sites
Author dancehead Posted February 5 Author Share Posted February 5 (edited) Thanks for the reply. To be fair it was dark but we certainly knew what was going on noise wise. She's from a party city and was on holiday. Usual these days. She was also rubbing herself up against both of us in the bar and hugging us both and other people. Calling me babe. I only stopped talking to her because I could see what was going on, so I left him to it and talked to her friend instead. I actually was very annoyed, disappointed, and stopped my banter before I said anything I might regret to my friend. I went very quiet. I had to watch them together all night! In various bars! I couldn't leave them because I was staying at his place. So I had to suffer Edited February 5 by dancehead Link to post Share on other sites
Alpacalia Posted February 5 Share Posted February 5 Maybe she was naked with your friend because he was more aggressive in pursuing her and making a move. It's possible that she didn't know you were interested in her or didn't see you as a potential romantic partner based on the dynamics of the conversation and interactions at the bar. Or, because you were speaking with her friend and not fully engaging with her, she may have felt like you weren't interested in her. A bit much on the girl you were interested in's part, and ouch. Did you let your friend know that you were interested in the girl before he started flirting with her? If not, he may not have realized and thought it was fair game. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted February 5 Share Posted February 5 If he genuinely didn't know you were keen on her, then yes it's unfair to be annoyed at him. At any rate, her behaviour indicates like she'd be up for sleeping with him, you and anyone else who's good for it. Possibly all at the same time! While it's unfortunate that you missed out on a one night stand, she would have been a high risk proposition anyway. I think you dodged a bullet 1 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted February 5 Share Posted February 5 (edited) 4 minutes ago, Alpacalia said: Maybe she was naked with your friend because he was more aggressive in pursuing her and making a move Or perhaps up for a group activity 😜 Her "rubbing herself" on both men at the same time in the bar does indicate it was an option.... Edited February 5 by basil67 Link to post Share on other sites
Author dancehead Posted February 5 Author Share Posted February 5 Well yes, she did say to us both at the bar that she hasn't had sex for months and said she was gagging for it, wearing a tiny dress Her friend who was annoyed at it all she asked her if she wants a threesome. To that she said don't talk to me! I guess I should have been more aggressive more confident, made things more obvious. But that's me, treading carefully and softly softly is my style. I did well to even get them to the bar in the first place Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted February 6 Share Posted February 6 After all this, you still regret not having sex with her? Dude, you need to raise your bar 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author dancehead Posted February 6 Author Share Posted February 6 I find her really funny, and she has cute eyes. Actually she texted me this evening Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted February 6 Share Posted February 6 After hooking up with your friend, do you really want to get involved with her? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
FredEire Posted February 6 Share Posted February 6 11 hours ago, dancehead said: Briefly, I met some girls on a plane. I particularly liked one of them. I invited them to a bar we were going to later. I don't usually pick up girls like this nor meet girls on holiday or in clubs and score with them. I'm better at actual 'dates' whereas my friend who I was with at the bar is very good socially at bars. Anyway, they came to the bar and I was sitting next to this girl and talking to her, but my friend was on the other side of her also chatting. Eventually he sort of took over the conversation and flirting. So I talked to the other girl. Later on we were back at their hotel room. By then I felt like a third person watching my mate take her away. I was talking to the other girl who was just trying to sleep at 6am. We didn't have to be clever to know what was going on on the balcony, and they both walked in naked. This was double pain for me, I really liked her! Do I have the right to be annoyed at my mate? They never would have met had I not invited the girls to the bar. We had already made plans regardless to travel together and go out back in the UK, me and this girl. They flew home now and I haven't bothered texting either girl. I know my friend has, he is trying to help her move out to this holiday destination. We did talk about it he said sorry I didn't know you were interested in her mate! Also even though all this happened the girl next day did say we can go out back home and share a hotel room but I can't see that happening if she flies back to work in that country! Never been in this situation before and it really is bothering me. Also my friend has a gf. They split up while he was out with me but now he is back together with her, obviously the gf doesn't know about this girl. I don't think the girl knows he's back with the ex either. Anyway opinions please will help me what do you think.?? She was so beautiful and a great personality, I'm gutted! Well in this situation out of respect for my friend I wouldn't make any sort of move if he told me that he had a thing for her. Unfortunately you didn't do this so I don't think in terms of your relationship he did much wrong. Obviously he shouldn't be cheating! But that hasn't got a lot to do with your friendship. Link to post Share on other sites
FredEire Posted February 6 Share Posted February 6 (edited) 13 hours ago, dancehead said: Well yes, she did say to us both at the bar that she hasn't had sex for months and said she was gagging for it, wearing a tiny dress Her friend who was annoyed at it all she asked her if she wants a threesome. To that she said don't talk to me! I guess I should have been more aggressive more confident, made things more obvious. But that's me, treading carefully and softly softly is my style. I did well to even get them to the bar in the first place Another thing I'd add is what you missed out on here is some sex, a one-night stand that youd barely even remember in a couple of years time anyway, it almost certainly wasn't going to be anything more. A rule I try to live by is serious breakups are hard enough, save your heartache for those. If you miss out on some sex with a pretty girl yeah it might feel bad but it's not worth your energy. If you're a young guy out and about seeing the world there'll be plenty more opportunities in the future. Everybody who's into casual stuff blows it sometimes, no matter how charming or charismatic they are, so cut yourself and your friend some slack. Edited February 6 by FredEire Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted February 6 Share Posted February 6 Normally I think it's very bad form for a friend to make moves on a person that they know their friend likes. Here you didn't tell your buddy which girl out of the group you fancied. He was just being himself. You could have pulled him aside early on & clued him in. Then if he didn't back off, he would have been a bad friend. As it stands you can't be annoyed with him for getting with this girl. Your buddy's ethics. . . making future plans with this ONS / FWB to cheat on his GF make him a questionable guy but he didn't intentionally harm you & he has apologized. Do you really want a woman who gets fully naked on a balcony then struts her stuff in front of others in the apartment / hotel? She doesn't sound like GF material. No you didn't get laid but you may have dodged a bullet. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Rider on the Storm Posted February 6 Share Posted February 6 12 hours ago, dancehead said: I find her really funny, and she has cute eyes. Actually she texted me this evening Well, it's not the typical Hollywood love story, but ok. Do you think her sense of humor and cute eyes will be enough to outweigh the fact that she recently slept with your "friend" the night that they met? If you do decide to pursue her, are you hoping for your chance to walk around with her naked while in front of others? I'm sure you have already considered this, but you may want to be cautious about what other friends you introduce her to. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted February 6 Share Posted February 6 She wasn't looking for a romantic relationship, she just wanted to hook up. Your friend just happened to be what she was looking for....a good time Charlie. Your friend did you a favor. She's not GF material. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
mark clemson Posted February 6 Share Posted February 6 (edited) 21 hours ago, dancehead said: She was also rubbing herself up against both of us in the bar and hugging us both and other people. Clearly she was very in the mood, and so it was "first come, first served." That is not common, and it may be that she is not the type of girl you want to be with LT anyhow (at least not at this stage of her life). You can be annoyed at your friend, but it doesn't sound like you had "dibs" or anything, particularly not in her mind. Just move on. Edited February 6 by mark clemson 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts