Max2005 Posted February 4 Share Posted February 4 My boyfriend of almost 2 years dumped me last night. I've been an absolute mess and I miss him so much. I'm so confused about what happened...minutes before we had been sending videos about weddings and families. Then he sends me this: "I'm sorry. I think I'm done for good this time. Goodbye" I asked his sister what was going on and she blocked me. Then I asked him on another platform what was wrong and he said: "I lost interest. I tried to gain it back. That's why I bought the hat with your name on it. Please move on. You deserve to be happy. I will always love you" Something about that just doesn't sit right with me....maybe I'm just in denial. I miss him. I mean heck, he proposed to me just a few months ago. What happened? Link to post Share on other sites
ShyViolet Posted February 4 Share Posted February 4 His words "I think I'm done for good THIS TIME"..... so he has broken up with you before, or tried to? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Max2005 Posted February 4 Author Share Posted February 4 3 minutes ago, ShyViolet said: His words "I think I'm done for good THIS TIME"..... so he has broken up with you before, or tried to? He has had insecurities and he has left before, but he always came back within a few hours. I never texted him but this one has me a little worried Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted February 4 Share Posted February 4 31 minutes ago, Max2005 said: ...minutes before we had been sending videos about weddings and families. Then he sends me this: "I'm sorry. I think I'm done for good this time. Goodbye" Sorry this is happening. On/off relationships are fraught with unresolved conflicts and incompatibilities combined with an unhealthy attachment and lack of other opportunities. How old is he? He doesn't seem interested in marriage and weddings. Please delete and block him and all his people from ALL your social media and messaging apps. He's being cruel to you and pushing you away. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted February 4 Share Posted February 4 "I'm done for good this time." doesn't sound like insecurities, but underlying issues in the relationship that couldn't be resolved. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Max2005 Posted February 4 Author Share Posted February 4 Just now, smackie9 said: "I'm done for good this time." doesn't sound like insecurities, but underlying issues in the relationship that couldn't be resolved. That's a very possible point, but him and I have always been so good at telling each other what's bothering us, but you could be right Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted February 4 Share Posted February 4 (edited) Also, he may well change his mind again. Please do not take him back! Can you imagine being married to someone who keeps threatening divorced? Because this is where it's headed if you marry him Edited February 4 by basil67 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Rider on the Storm Posted February 4 Share Posted February 4 16 minutes ago, Max2005 said: He has had insecurities and he has left before, but he always came back within a few hours. I never texted him but this one has me a little worried Has his insecurities lead to him citing "a loss of interest" to you in the past? It almost sounds as if this isn't the first time he has expressed doubt about your relationship. Did he actually break up with you via text? And just minutes after you two were talking about weddings? That's bizarre. It almost seems as if a piece of the story is missing. Is there anything else that you can share? Link to post Share on other sites
ShyViolet Posted February 4 Share Posted February 4 22 minutes ago, Max2005 said: He has had insecurities and he has left before, but he always came back within a few hours. I never texted him but this one has me a little worried He has tried to tell you multiple times that he was not into this relationship, and you haven't been listening to him. He wasn't as into this relationship as you for quite some time. It shouldn't be a huge surprise that he's finally decided to end it for good. There is nothing left to do now but accept that and move on. Don't ever chase after someone who isn't as interested in you as you are them. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Max2005 Posted February 4 Author Share Posted February 4 17 minutes ago, Rider on the Storm said: Has his insecurities lead to him citing "a loss of interest" to you in the past? It almost sounds as if this isn't the first time he has expressed doubt about your relationship. Did he actually break up with you via text? And just minutes after you two were talking about weddings? That's bizarre. It almost seems as if a piece of the story is missing. Is there anything else that you can share? No. His insecurities were always him believe he wasn't good enough. And I tried my best to get him to see he was more than good enough for me. Yes he broke up with me via text. Minutes before we had been sending messages and videos about weddings and raising a family for over 4 hours. I have screenshots but I wasn't able to upload them here. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted February 4 Share Posted February 4 32 minutes ago, Max2005 said: No. His insecurities were always him believe he wasn't good enough. And I tried my best to get him to see he was more than good enough for me. Yes he broke up with me via text. Minutes before we had been sending messages and videos about weddings and raising a family for over 4 hours. I have screenshots but I wasn't able to upload them here. I think the "I'm not good enough for you" excuse is just that, a soft excuse to break up. I've used that myself when I was no longer interested in being in the relationship. People rarely if ever leave relationships where they feel their partner is in a higher league than them. He knew he couldn't fake it anymore and go through with a wedding. Thank God he did it now than later after you spent a lot of money on this. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted February 5 Share Posted February 5 1 hour ago, Max2005 said: His insecurities were always him believe he wasn't good enough. And I tried my best to get him to see he was more than good enough for me. If his cup is not full, you can’t fill it for him. Sincerely, you shouldn’t have to convince your partner that they want a relationship with you. I know, you are shocked and sad right now… but this is likely for the best. As was said above, the last thing that you want is to have him pull back a week before your planned wedding, or leave after you’ve bought a house and had a child. 2 hours ago, Max2005 said: "I lost interest. I tried to gain it back. That's why I bought the hat with your name on it. This makes no sense to me. He’s not that invested if he bought a hat with your name on it as a sign of his interest… how in the world does that help him to regain interest in your relationship? Weird. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted February 5 Share Posted February 5 1 hour ago, stillafool said: I think the "I'm not good enough for you" excuse is just that, a soft excuse to break up. I've used that myself when I was no longer interested in being in the relationship. Very true - it’s not you, it’s me. I’m not good enough… you deserve better. All are standard lines to avoid conflict when ending a relationship. And all should be HUGE red flags for anyone who hears this kind of thing from their partner… 3 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted February 5 Share Posted February 5 1 hour ago, Max2005 said: Yes he broke up with me via text. Minutes before we had been sending messages and videos about weddings and raising a family for over 4 hours. I'm sorry but it appears to me that he just could not keep up the facade anymore of wanting to marry and have a family with you. He probably realized mid conversation that what he was doing and saying was deceitful and more than he was willing to do with you and decided to do the right thing this time and end it for good. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted February 5 Share Posted February 5 Whatever the reason, that is a truly awful way to end the relationship. It really speaks to his immaturity. There are much kinder and better ways to have the discussion and end the relationship. I’m sorry this happened to you Max. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Alpacalia Posted February 5 Share Posted February 5 (Albeit him saying he thinks he's done this time) tells me he's freaked out or scared about it closing in. I wonder too if he met someone else. Man that's harsh. Sorry. What a mind screw / fake out that must've been. In any case, you won't be here with what's ahead if you don't close the door. In your case, I see the door open for "what happened".... You are where you are right now. Take time to breathe and shut the door. Link to post Share on other sites
Goodguy05 Posted February 5 Share Posted February 5 I think the wedding and commitment has dawned on him and freaked him out 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted February 5 Share Posted February 5 16 hours ago, Max2005 said: I asked his sister what was going on and she blocked me. Then I asked him on another platform what was wrong and he said: "I lost interest. I tried to gain it back. That's why I bought the hat with your name on it. Please move on. You deserve to be happy. I will always love you" I am so sorry this is happening to you but in time you will see this is a blessing in disguise. Please do not let him back into your life, block him and take care of your heart. Heartbreaks are hard but we get over them. This is not the type of man you want to be married to. He is weak, breaking up over text to a woman you dated for 2 years and proposed to! that is coward! You need a stronger man in your life, and you definitely need a stronger man with more morals to father your children. Again I am sorry you are hurt, but soon you will thank the universe you did not marry him. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ShyViolet Posted February 5 Share Posted February 5 19 hours ago, Max2005 said: No. His insecurities were always him believe he wasn't good enough. And I tried my best to get him to see he was more than good enough for me. "I'm not good enough for you", that is a very common excuse that people give for ending a relationship because they are trying to spare the other person's feelings. It's the same as "It's not you, it's me." I know that you probably find it easier to cling to this "he didn't think he was good enough" nonsense, but you are not facing the reality that he simply didn't want to be with you anymore. Next time let someone go if they have one foot in and one foot out of the relationship. Don't try to force it to work. That never works in the long run. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Acacia98 Posted February 5 Share Posted February 5 (edited) 6 hours ago, Goodguy05 said: I think the wedding and commitment has dawned on him and freaked him out I think so too. That plus serious insecurity and ambivalence about the relationship. OP, I agree with your ex that you deserve to be happy and that you're not going to be happy with him. Please do yourself the kindness of blocking him and not giving him a chance to sneak back into your life. Edited February 5 by Acacia98 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted February 5 Share Posted February 5 Believe me when I say you don't want a guy who can go from this... 20 hours ago, Max2005 said: Minutes before we had been sending messages and videos about weddings and raising a family for over 4 hours. To this.... 21 hours ago, Max2005 said: "I'm sorry. I think I'm done for good this time. Goodbye" ...within minutes. 1 2 Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted February 6 Share Posted February 6 ^^^ I know someone who was living with a guy and he literally left her when she went to have a shower. No, you don’t want a guy who could do this to a woman OP. Not a man you should trust or count on for anything… Link to post Share on other sites
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