Wine, Women, and Good Times

[Alpacalia]

I am going to a meet-up event. It's a bunch of women that like to drink wine and get together to socialize. I am a bit nervous because I don't know anyone there, but I am also excited to make new friends and try new wines.

I purchased some crackers and cheese so hopefully that will break the ice and give us something to snack on while we chat. I also made sure to dress up a little and wear something that I feel comfortable and confident in. Just got my teeth cleaned so I am ready to show off my pearly whites and make some good first impressions.

I'm just curious how much wine is too much wine? I don't want to overdo it and make a fool of myself, but I also don't want to be the only one not drinking. Maybe I'll just stick to one glass and then switch to water.

I am hoping I can find a hiking partner because the last one I went on it was mostly men and I would like to make a woman friend so she can show me some good trails.

Edited January 26 by Alpacalia

[Wiseman2]

12 minutes ago, Alpacalia said:

.I'm just curious how much wine is too much wine? 

"According to the Dietary Guidelines for Americans, adults of legal drinking age can choose not to drink, or to drink in moderation by limiting intake to 2 drinks or less in a day for men and 1 drink or less in a day for women, when alcohol is consumed. Drinking less is better for health than drinking more."

 

https://www.niaaa.nih.gov/health-professionals-communities/core-resource-on-alcohol/basics-defining-how-much-alcohol-too-much

Edited January 26 by Wiseman2

[Alpacalia]

That's great, Wiseman. Thanks.

[basil67]

Sounds like a lot of fun!  And you've got the right attitude to do well.

How much to drink depends on your tolerance.  If it was me, I'd have two or three glasses in the first hour and one an hour after that, with water in between drinks

Let us know how it goes!

[SlimShadysWife]

Eat a meal before you go that's a must.

 

[d0nnivain]

One to two glasses that you drink slowly on a full stomach should be more than enough.  Even wine drinkers are all about responsible consumption.  If you get there & realize this a party crowd that drinks bottles of wine at a time, you can decide if that is really for you

[Gaeta]

If you're not a drinker then only a glass can completely inhibriate you. 

I don't like alcohol and I never drink.  In the past, during the holidays, I broke under family pressure and had 1/4 of a glass of wine and I got dizzy and lost coordination, can you imagine if I had drank a whole glass. You must know what you can and cannot tolerate.

 

[Alpacalia]

I had one glass of red. It was pretty strong and I already felt a bit of a buzz. So I stuck to one...

I like sparkling rose' wine/rose champagne which is a lot lighter but the restaurant didn't have. Red wine can be a bit heavy for me.

Everyone was super welcoming and friendly (even before the 3 glasses of wine the rest of the ladies had 🙃). A couple of people sang songs that suit scratchy voices - Journey, ZZ Top, Jerry Lee Lewis, and I was going to try to wing it with Margaritaville....but I usually keep that song in the car where no one can hear me. I was enjoying the atmosphere of the restaurant, the soft music and dim lighting adding to the cozy ambiance. It was the perfect setting to enjoy a glass of wine.

They have archery events so I think I'll try that next time. I much prefer trying new things and exploring versus standing around drinking. But overall, it was a fun and unique experience, and everyone was very welcoming!

[d0nnivain]

I'm so glad you enjoyed it!  Brava to you for trying new things & being brave 

Edited January 26 by d0nnivain

[Alpacalia]

One of the women there asked if I heard the new Miley Cyrus song. I said no, I can't stand her music. She looked at me for a moment before saying, "Oh, really? I absolutely love her! What's not to like?"

I just stayed silent and smiled politely, not wanting to get into a debate about personal taste in music. Instead, I changed the subject to something else. However, the conversation got me thinking about why I have such a strong dislike for Miley Cyrus's music.😂🤔

Edited January 26 by Alpacalia

[FMW]

That sounds like an interesting experience, it's wonderful you are interested and taking initiative in exploring new things!

Tastes in many areas, including music, are highly individual.  In those discussions with people I don't know well I usually just say a mild "no" or "not really" if I don't like something specific.  After I've known someone a while I will then engage in deeper discussions.  I've learned that taking my time and reading the room can avoid awkwardness 🙂.

[Alpacalia]

5 minutes ago, FMW said:

Tastes in many areas, including music, are highly individual.  

Very true! A little wine, sampling of the cheese, and hearing about others can loosen lips a little. Thank you for the reminder though; I’d rather err on the side of caution with people I don’t know well, because I’ve got my fair share of awkward interactions. Fortunately no one minds too much, and I’m getting a better feel for what’s normal.

I didn't really read the room, a couple women approached me initially and initiated the conversation. We sort of bonded over a few discussion points, but when the topic shifted to Miley Cyrus, I realized our tastes in music were very different. I didn't want to come off as rude or judgmental, so I just smiled and changed the subject. In the future, I'll definitely try to be more aware of the topic and how the other person is responding before stating my opinions.

I do appreciate that other people like vastly different things and that's what makes the world interesting.

[Els]

19 hours ago, Alpacalia said:

I'm just curious how much wine is too much wine? I don't want to overdo it and make a fool of myself, but I also don't want to be the only one not drinking. Maybe I'll just stick to one glass and then switch to water.

I'm a lightweight, so if it's informal drinking at someone's house, I generally prefer to "sample" wine - a bit of one, a bit of another, and with a glass of water on the side (gotta stay hydrated! ). I'll rarely pour myself a whole 150ml right off the bat.

But if we're out and a waiter is doing the pour, then yeah, I'll just order 1 glass.

Glad you enjoyed the meetup!

[Foxhall]

Echoing happy you enjoyed it @ alpacalia,

Yes I suppose though it sounds easy in theory joining meet-ups and so on- there is always a slightly nervous part of being out of the comfort zone- at least for some of us,

so glad it went well for you.

I'll have to keep in mind not to post any Miley Cyrus songs then on the other thread- though I do like one of them especially.

[MsJayne]

2 hours ago, Alpacalia said:

However, the conversation got me thinking about why I have such a strong dislike for Miley Cyrus's music.😂🤔

For me it's the nasal moaning and banal lyrics, but there was also the Rubber Undies Incident, bum cheeks spilling out while she did the bump and grind thing all over Robin Thicke while his wife watched on. I thought her music stunk before that, but that display of skankery gave me really bad second-hand embarrassment and now I can't hear her voice without feeling a small shudder of revulsion. And Billy Ray thought 'Achy Breaky Heart' was going to be the most embarrassing thing he ever created - ha! 

[Alpacalia]

3 hours ago, Els said:

I'm a lightweight, so if it's informal drinking at someone's house, I generally prefer to "sample" wine - a bit of one, a bit of another, and with a glass of water on the side (gotta stay hydrated! ). I'll rarely pour myself a whole 150ml right off the bat.

But if we're out and a waiter is doing the pour, then yeah, I'll just order 1 glass.

Glad you enjoyed the meetup!

Thanks. Oh, so a bit like at a wine tasting, but with water in between? 

22 hours ago, basil67 said:

Sounds like a lot of fun!  And you've got the right attitude to do well.

How much to drink depends on your tolerance.  If it was me, I'd have two or three glasses in the first hour and one an hour after that, with water in between drinks

Let us know how it goes!

You'd out pace me for sure. I have a very weak tolerance for alcoholic beverages. Though, back in the day, I could lay back 6-7 rounds of tequila with no problem. Do you enjoy the flavors of the reds more than whites? I like the taste of red but it feels a bit heavy.

1 hour ago, MsJayne said:

For me it's the nasal moaning and banal lyrics, but there was also the Rubber Undies Incident, bum cheeks spilling out while she did the bump and grind thing all over Robin Thicke while his wife watched on. I thought her music stunk before that, but that display of skankery gave me really bad second-hand embarrassment and now I can't hear her voice without feeling a small shudder of revulsion. And Billy Ray thought 'Achy Breaky Heart' was going to be the most embarrassing thing he ever created - ha! 

I think it's the nasal thing too. Or maybe because she rode a wrecking ball naked. 

[Lotsgoingon]

There is something especially satisfying to me when I go to an event where I know no one and I have a blast.  Keep going!

 

[Alpacalia]

45 minutes ago, Lotsgoingon said:

There is something especially satisfying to me when I go to an event where I know no one and I have a blast.  Keep going!

 

Thanks!

I usually exercise by myself at a health club but I don't think that's quite the same.

Any recommendations?

[Lotsgoingon]

Ideas for hanging out as a single person seeking to make more connections?

Well just see if you can ... without really pressing yourself  ... say hello to someone at the gym with just a bit of intention, as in you're happy to say hello. And then if there is anyone who seems interesting and/or friendly  (just a gut sense) say hello again ... and the next time you go, say hello and ask a basic question ... This is where even the most simple and basic questions help. "How long have you been a member here?" That question is so seemingly basic and harmless and yet it's clear I'm asking for a bit more information about them--and it's not nonthreatening.

I find that if I just get myself to take these small steps ... in not too long I'm talking to someone and the conversation becomes warm pretty quickly ... 

I'm at a university gym now where I am with people not my age, but I remember when I was a member of a gym with people my age (in my 30s) and it was so satisfying to just have these little moments with people I'd see at the gym. Those moments lead to more moments and invitations come and you hear of events and gatherings and so on. 

There's a lot of research out there that says people actually get far more pleasure out of little encounters (quick exchanges with the worker at the deli shop or the  barista at the coffee shop) that most of us would typically predict. 

Last time I left you, you were partnered with a man who is going to study overseas sometime in the future.  So my answer assumes you are asking about meeting friends, not dating partners. 

[Els]

11 hours ago, Alpacalia said:

Thanks. Oh, so a bit like at a wine tasting, but with water in between? 

Yes, exactly!

[Alpacalia]

Thanks LGO!

I see so many beautiful nature posts on my social media group and I aspire to go on these adventures. Hiking is something that really appeals to me. I have a few friends who are interested in hiking but they are not as passionate about it as I am and it's hard to coordinate schedules.

The other thing that's difficult for me, is I have a terrible fear of heights, so I'm hesitant to go on certain trails by myself. I wish there was more of a beginner group.

It's also scary to venture out on my own because I don't know the trails very well and I don't want to get lost.

I was out the other night and was talking to this gentlemen that approached me and we got to talking about hiking. He gave me some great tips and suggestions, but he also mentioned he goes hiking alone all the time and then gave me his number if I wanted to join him. I feel a bit weird about going with someone I don't know but at the same time I feel like this may be an opportunity to learn from someone more experienced.

I've thought about joining a hiking club, but the groups near me, the members are a bit too advanced for me and I fear I won't be able to keep up. I did do one hiking group and it was great but I hoped for a bit more gender diversity.

I know there are other resources and communities out there, I just need to put myself out there and take that first step.

Edited January 29 by Alpacalia

[Foxhall]

11 hours ago, Alpacalia said:

Hiking is something that really appeals to me

haha this could be interesting- I used to hike a lot-probably 7 hours is the longest Ive done,

better not tell you about the one where I got lost in fog,

Anyway keep at it- enjoy

[Alpacalia]

1 hour ago, Foxhall said:

better not tell you about the one where I got lost in fog,

I hope you weren't listening to Miley Cyrus...🙃

No, but seriously, that sounds like an incredible day. Hope you enjoyed it!

 

Edited January 29 by Alpacalia

[Els]

13 hours ago, Alpacalia said:

I've thought about joining a hiking club, but the groups near me, the members are a bit too advanced for me and I fear I won't be able to keep up. I did do one hiking group and it was great but I hoped for a bit more gender diversity.

That's interesting, the hiking club in my previous university was predominantly female. I know that statistically more men hike than women, but I guess I always assumed that men are more likely to go solo or with one friend, whereas women are more likely to go in groups for safety.

[Alpacalia]

17 minutes ago, Els said:

That's interesting, the hiking club in my previous university was predominantly female. I know that statistically more men hike than women, but I guess I always assumed that men are more likely to go solo or with one friend, whereas women are more likely to go in groups for safety.

There is a female hiking group near me but they are mostly seniors and I don't really fit in with their age group and schedules (even though they do some pretty advanced hikes). The one hiking group that I did attend to, I just went once, and while I think there are female members the day just ended being me and a couple other men so it was a bit intimidating, since I didn't know them.

There is a hike coming up with what looks like a good mix of females, 5 miles, but with some steep elevation changes so I am a bit nervous (fear of heights), maybe I'll snag my brother as a buffer.

It's always nice to have a hiking buddy when starting out, but it's also great to go solo too and just enjoy the solitude and nature. It definitely takes some getting used to and building up your own confidence.