mortensorchid Posted January 22 Share Posted January 22 I encountered someone a long time ago who expected others to take care of him. He had no car, no bank accounts, no credit cards, no phone, etc. I think he lived off the kindness of strangers quite literally. That will only go so far before others will say "I am done with this" and exclude him. Some people expect others to take care of them, I have noticed. What would make someone think that this is an okay thing to do? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted January 22 Share Posted January 22 (edited) Could be a series of mental illnesses or it's a learn pattern from parents. What ever it is just don't stay around them. I would not use any of my brain energy to try to figure them out, I have more fun things to do. Edited January 22 by Gaeta Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted January 22 Share Posted January 22 1 hour ago, mortensorchid said: What would make someone think that this is an okay thing to do? The fact that it has always worked for them. They have always find somebody to do it so why should they change if they are getting their needs met? You don't have to be the one to care for them. You are free to walk away. They will just find somebody else because on the flip side there are people who need to be caregivers, even to vampires who suck the life out of them. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted January 22 Share Posted January 22 1 hour ago, mortensorchid said: He had no car, no bank accounts, no credit cards, no phone, etc. I think he lived off the kindness of strangers quite literally. Read up on "parasitic lifestyle". Link to post Share on other sites
Author mortensorchid Posted January 22 Author Share Posted January 22 I would never try to change anyone or anything, because I know that I can't change anyone or anything (except myself of course). I refused to help when I realized this guy wanted me/others to take care of him, he overstepped his boundaries. And I wouldn't go any further with him so that was the end. I'm sure he goes through others like Kleenex in his life. Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted January 22 Share Posted January 22 2 hours ago, mortensorchid said: I refused to help when I realized this guy wanted me/others to take care of him, he overstepped his boundaries. And I wouldn't go any further with him so that was the end. I'm sure he goes through others like Kleenex in his life. You're not talking about your boyfriend right? Link to post Share on other sites
Author mortensorchid Posted January 22 Author Share Posted January 22 18 minutes ago, Gaeta said: You're not talking about your boyfriend right? I am not. This was someone from a very long time ago, long gone. Link to post Share on other sites
ShyViolet Posted January 22 Share Posted January 22 Obviously a person like that is a loser to an extreme level, and a really dysfunctional person. You're not going to get any other answer than that, as to "why" they do this. I wouldn't waste my time thinking about it beyond that. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted January 22 Share Posted January 22 There could be a myriad of reasons. Why is he on your mind? Link to post Share on other sites
Author mortensorchid Posted January 23 Author Share Posted January 23 5 hours ago, basil67 said: There could be a myriad of reasons. Why is he on your mind? Not sure why. I think of others from the past every once in a while. I wonder if they think of me ever (and no that is not an ego trip) the same that I do them. I even think of all those I had some lame internet date with - I don't remember their names anymore. Maybe they don't remember mine either. I realize now that I let nostalgia get in the way of things with some people in the past. You let the memories of the past get in the way of the truth. This particular guy was a mistake on my part. But that's ok, it's how we learn. Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted January 23 Share Posted January 23 21 minutes ago, mortensorchid said: Not sure why. I think of others from the past every once in a while. I wonder if they think of me ever You let the memories of the past get in the way of the truth. . It's good you have insight into this. Try not to live in the past this much. Reflect if midlife crisis could be involved in some of these regrets and longings. Link to post Share on other sites
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