CuriousMoments Posted January 13 Share Posted January 13 We’ve been exclusive for almost a year. He has always been busy with work and his kids, I have known this from the beginning and it never really bothered me. In October everything started picking up for him, work/holidays coming up/etc. during that time our communication started lacking just a little bit. We talked about it and he told me he was just really busy, I didn’t push the issue. We would talk every 2-3 days. In November he went a week without saying anything, disappeared pretty much, no phone calls, no texting. I questioned him and he told me him and the kids had been really really sick. I wondered why that meant not a quick text or anything but I decided to give him the benefit of the doubt and I let it go. Fast forward to Dec, still communicating every 2-3 days when I received a text from him telling me that he felt like he was letting me down because he hadn’t had very much time for me and that he didn’t want me to suffer because of him. I responded by letting him know that I understood his struggle, that I was there for him, that I was ok with everything. His response was to ask me to just give him time until after the holidays. I agreed. During that time he still would send a quick text every couple of days, I would reply, and that went on for a couple of weeks. The last I heard from him was on New Years wishing me a happy new year, saying he loved me, and that was it. I haven’t heard anything since. I tried reaching out a few days later, he hasn’t even read the message. So now I’m am in a spot to where I don’t want to be upset because I told him I would give him time but I am also mixed because he was still reaching out and now nothing. Part of me wants to believe that he still has personal things going on and at the same time I also feel like I might just be grasping. it usually just bothers me first thing in the morning and then later at night. during the day I tend to keep pretty busy to keep my mind from trying to overthink things. Honestly though, the longer it continues with no contract what so ever the harder it is becoming to not have negative thoughts. Link to post Share on other sites
Acacia98 Posted January 13 Share Posted January 13 You are allowed to realize you were wrong and change your mind. So tell him you had time to think about it and you realized he was right: you really can't keep a relationship going on such diminished communication. Then wish him well and close the chapter. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted January 13 Share Posted January 13 9 hours ago, CuriousMoments said: . We talked about it and he told me he was just really busy. In November he went a week without saying anything, disappeared pretty much, no phone calls, no texting. I received a text from him telling me that he felt like he was letting me down because he hadn’t had very much time for me and that he didn’t want me to suffer because of him Sorry this is happening. Unfortunately it seems like he's tiptoeing out of the relationship using the slow fade approach. People are never "too busy" for what's important to them. Please step back and observe. Unfortunately that's all you can do. Link to post Share on other sites
ShyViolet Posted January 13 Share Posted January 13 This guy is not communicating with you, true, but his actions are telling you loud and clear that he's done with this relationship. When a guy doesn't contact you for a whole week, he's telling you that he's not into this relationship anymore. And he's done that multiple times now. He's not "too busy". That's not the real reason. No one is too busy to send a simple text. He has lost interest in this relationship since October when he first went a whole week without talking to you, but for whatever reason he doesn't have the courage to break up with you properly. Stop waiting around for him. You can't make someone want to be with you when they simply don't. Do what he has been too wishy-washy to do; end this relationship. Let him go and find someone who actually wants to be with you. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted January 13 Share Posted January 13 19 hours ago, CuriousMoments said: Honestly though, the longer it continues with no contract what so ever the harder it is becoming to not have negative thoughts Of course you're having negative thoughts. Why shouldn't you? He's clearly fading out and it's a very human reaction to be hurt and upset, OP. I can't imagine most would be okay with this, and you needn't force yourself to be. You were gracious to be accommodating and understanding - to a point. But it's time to listen to your own instinct here. It's trying to tell you that this relationship is probably over. I would call him and cleanly cut ties. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Alpacalia Posted January 14 Share Posted January 14 (edited) Agree with others. He is done with the relationship. My ex worked crazy hours too but we spoke once a day and spent at least one-two weekends per month together and regular mini “dates” in between. Even though he was very busy, to him staying in touch was important and he made time. This man isn’t making time for you. He’s not in love with you and simply didn’t have the guts to tell you so. Edited January 14 by Alpacalia Link to post Share on other sites
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