justdifferent_ Posted January 10 Share Posted January 10 On 12/18/2023 at 5:55 PM, justdifferent_ said: I have been liking this girl for a while now. I met her through mutual friends when he and I were skiing. He brought this girl that I knew he talked about before at school. They don't hang out anymore; instead, I have been talking to her and am one of her closest friends today (over 40k messages). Just to note, I am 14 M and she is 14 F, we do not go to the same school, instead, we both go to a single-gender private school in the UK. I almost talk to her every day, and she has made some weird moves in the past, but I shake it off as something a good friend would do. For example, asking my rice purity test score, sending me pics of korean ai girls for me to rate them, sending me photos of her trip to Hawaii, and sending me some photos of her wearing a shirt that she bought (same photo on her ig) as well as skiing with only her twice because she was there at the same time (not set up). Other weird things we did were: she asked me to rate her or to say if she was pretty or not, to which I always responded very positively, one time I asked back the same question, to which she gave me a 6.5/10 (very skeptical; she is always very nice and won't say bad things), as well as saying I love you ONLY ONCE as a joke because after I sent her photos of her old crush (who kind of still likes me currently and asked me to get her photos of him in the past) that also goes to my school but one grade higher (she said that becuase she was thankful). From day 1, she would be very nice (she does this to everyone) and make me call her mom, but now that this is long over, we both grew out of it. We have been friends since February 2022. She recently dated one of my classmates at school and always had a crush on him. The relationship happened over the summer (it was her first), and it died because they never actually met in person (they saw each other before, but this was after the breakup, and they never talked). Now, the guy who she dated eventually found a new person very quickly and now loves her very much. On the contrary, she still dreams and is definitely not over him, and she constantly complains to me about him, as well as taking an uber for 30 minutes across the city to come find him at my school. I have talked to many other girls who looked better but never really bonded with me. This is a girl who has a lot of guy friends, and if you just look at her messages on any app, it would be filled with simps. I actually respect people and what they want, and I will follow them accordingly. In her friend zone, she has me, some random kids from public school, as well as my best friend (which i 100% think he likes; they talk every day), who was introduced by me and now take some outside of school classes together. I am still very relevant in her life, I help with math online, science and various other things. We share many common interests, like badminton and other things. Note she is very spoiled and gets whatever she wants all the time. Recently, I admitted that I liked her and asked her out on date (she was skeptical at first because my same best friend would like to take control of my computer and type weird s*** on my computer), the response was confusing, I asked "why not? we are already friends" she responded with "okay sure" but then i asked "you srs?" becuase this was down the ilne maybe like 30 minutes later and I didnt think that she understood my previous texts and when I clarified the question, she said "what do you mean by a date" I responded "romantically" she responded with "Bro opps, Im not ready yet" with a follow up I asked why and she said "you dont want a girl who isnt oer their ex, you have to wait until I get over him first" and kept saying she wasnt ready and asked me if i liked her, and i responded with yes, maybe 10 messages later she responded with: "you are a really good friend and I do not want to ruin our friendship, maybe it might be a better idea to find someone else, i dont want to risk our friendship for this. it wont be fair for you or me if i havent moved on," I proceeded to ask : "so its a no for now?" and she said yes. She finalized by saying "i just dont want to stop being friends, but i think thats the furthest I want to go at the momment". I know that she isnt going to stop liking her ex for a while and I might have other things I can or try out with. My options here are simple: 1. I can stop liking her pretty easily and move on, find someone else. 2. Continue to be friends but it will be a more weird relationship becuase of this, and ask her to set me up with someone (she knows a lot of ppl). 3. Wait for her to get over him and maybe have a chance of her liking back (please tell me if you think she likes me.) 4. Ghost her and block or just stop texting her as much anymore and move on and stop wasting my time on her. Please give me some ideas on other things I might can do (pretty desperate for a relationship atm) and whether I have a chance or not. This is the status of the relationship at the moment. We haven't really talked in a while, and I am comtemplating whether she even cares. How should I end this friendship? Link to post Share on other sites
Acacia98 Posted January 10 Share Posted January 10 Seems like you don't have to do anything at all. Seeing as you don't talk much, just allow the silence to continue. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author justdifferent_ Posted January 10 Author Share Posted January 10 26 minutes ago, Acacia98 said: Seems like you don't have to do anything at all. Seeing as you don't talk much, just allow the silence to continue. Should I like at least like write a paragraph explaining the situation and my reasoning. I already blocked her on everything but IG so I have a chance to message. Link to post Share on other sites
Foxhall Posted January 10 Share Posted January 10 2 hours ago, justdifferent_ said: On 12/19/2023 at 1:55 AM, justdifferent_ said: pretty desperate for a relationship atm) and whether I have a chance or not. If I were advising a younger me- I would say never feel desperate for it, girls pick up on that and it makes them hesitant, I like the vibe you describe with her- relationships do build from friendships enjoy the friendship and it may go further down the tracks, but always keep your options open- chatting to as many girls as you can. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted January 10 Share Posted January 10 5 hours ago, justdifferent_ said: Should I like at least like write a paragraph explaining the situation and my reasoning. I already blocked her on everything but IG so I have a chance to message. No need to waste your time. If she's blocked, she already knows the friendship is over & candidly she doesn't care about your reasons. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted January 10 Share Posted January 10 5 hours ago, justdifferent_ said: Should I like at least like write a paragraph explaining the situation and my reasoning. It seems like it's fading away anyway so there's no need to "end the friendship". It's doubtful messaging her will help get her attention back. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
MsJayne Posted January 12 Share Posted January 12 You don't have to end the friendship, but you do have to stop hoping she'll suddenly be smitten with you. She was just making excuses when she used not being over her ex as a reason for not being interested, the real reason she's not interested is that she likes you, (or has a use for you), but isn't attracted to you. If she's a girl who enjoys getting plenty of attention from guys the best way to get her attention is be the guy who isn't taken in by her charms. Also, please stop helping her with maths and science, if she has no aptitude for those subjects it's not your job to prop up her academic performance. I suspect this may be the reason she keeps you orbiting. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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