Taz1985 Posted January 2 Share Posted January 2 Hi everybody! my ex broke up with me 2.5 years ago. And a week ago he somehow found me on facebook and messaged me to say hello. It was very unexpected. It brought up a lot of feelings. He was the greatest love of my life. But it was a very hard break up for me. He dated someone a month after me and they got engaged. The break up took like a year to heal from. But I moved on. I still thought about him and realized I don’t know if those feelings will ever fully go away. well, we’ve been talking all week. Catching up and talked a bit about our past. He told me and his fiancé broke up a few months ago. He suggested meeting up, and I suggested going for dinner some day. A big part of me seems hopeful to be in each others lives romantically. But a big part of me understands what a slippery slope this is. How I came so far with my healing, and imagine the possibilities of being hurt again. I would be hurt if we started hanging out and maybe he started seeing someone else. Theres so many mixed feelings. Like a battle with my head and my heart. but then who knows, maybe we hit it off and start up something great. i dont know what to do. I feel like he should be the one to set up the date, and make the effort with all of this. I don’t know how to approach this at all. I’m trying my best to focus on myself and not worry about him. but I’ve tried to pull back on the texting and keep myself in check. I just never expected him contacting me again. should I let him pursue me . Or just cut off the entire idea of seeing him thoughts? Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted January 2 Share Posted January 2 (edited) 12 minutes ago, Taz1985 said: i dont know what to do. I feel like he should be the one to set up the date, and make the effort with all of this I can imagine how confusing it must be to hear from him after all this time. However, he has only suggested "meeting up". It's entirely likely he just wants to have a catch up and nothing more.....yet here you are talking about dinner and dates and him making an effort. The fact that you're thinking it's a date suggests to me that you're already on your way to getting hurt again. My advice is to tell him that you don't want to meet him as you don't want to risk being hurt again. Edited January 2 by basil67 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Taz1985 Posted January 2 Author Share Posted January 2 7 minutes ago, basil67 said: I can imagine how confusing it must be to hear from him after all this time. However, he has only suggested "meeting up". It's entirely likely he just wants to have a catch up and nothing more.....yet here you are talking about dinner and dates and him making an effort. The fact that you're thinking it's a date suggests to me that you're already on your way to getting hurt again. My advice is to tell him that you don't want to meet him as you don't want to risk being hurt again. Yeah it is confusing. he bought a house recently. And suggested I come by to check The house. I suggested dinner as I thought it was more appropriate. He was been leaning into sexual flirtation so maybe he’s just looking to hook up. I straight ask him and he said no, he was interested to catching up. Ugh yeah hahah Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted January 2 Share Posted January 2 (edited) 40 minutes ago, Taz1985 said: I suggested dinner as I thought it was more appropriate. Oh hon, he wasn't planning a date. He just wanted to get you alone in his house and hope that you'd jump into bed with him. There is absolutely nothing to suggest he wants to pursue you or have another chance with you. Edited January 2 by basil67 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted January 2 Share Posted January 2 1 hour ago, Taz1985 said: a big part of me understands what a slippery slope this is. Sorry this is happening. Please trust your instincts. This is a headache and heartache waiting to happen. Whenever an ex contacts you it's for their own reasons. Lonely, bored, horny, on the rebound, on/off with someone, to get someone jealous or get them back etc. Especially in this case with the transparent ruse of seeing his new house and flirting. It's almost insulting that he thinks you're this desperate. Tell him it was nice catching up then delete and block him from ALL your social media and messaging apps. Permanently. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted January 2 Share Posted January 2 Think about why you broke up. Has that issue(s) been resolved? If not, there is no sense going back. Link to post Share on other sites
ShyViolet Posted January 2 Share Posted January 2 Hmm let's look at the facts here. He has told you that he broke up with his fiance a few months ago, he has been texting you sexually flirtatious messages and invited you over to "check out" his house. It's kind of obvious why he's contacting you. He is hoping to hook up. Do you think that would be a good idea? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Alpacalia Posted January 2 Share Posted January 2 Ugh how icky. Don’t see him. He broke up with you, then gets engaged to his next partner very quickly, then breaks up with her and crawls back to you? No way. He is just grasping at straws because his current situation didn't work out. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted January 4 Share Posted January 4 In your situation, if he were interested in getting back with you he would have said something like, "I made the biggest mistake of my life when I broke up with you to be with_______. Please forgive me and I would like another chance with you because I realized you are the one I love." Any talk short of a statement like that, the answer is a big fat NO. I'm surprised he was even able to reach you because if it were me he'd be blocked. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
NuevoYorko Posted January 4 Share Posted January 4 Seriously. If he dumped you and thinks he made a mistake and wants you back, he really WOULD put it to you like that. Definitely not sexual flirtation. Don't hurt yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
BulletDodged Posted January 9 Share Posted January 9 (edited) This isn't rocket science.. your the rebound. [If the breakup was something you] BOTH did wrong in the relationship, then maybe you should work something out. However my feeling is, he wants to hook up only, and maybe not reconcile.. I would stay away, as he could use you as a rebound. Edited January 9 by a LoveShack.org Moderator off topic Link to post Share on other sites
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