Wiseman2 Posted December 28, 2023 Share Posted December 28, 2023 6 minutes ago, 1_T said: Me: I'm doing well. What types of food do you like to eat? Izzy: Something sweet. Ask her if she would like to meet up and have donuts and coffee with you. In person, you can ask about her heritage. How old are the girls you are dating and are you a student on a budget? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
NuevoYorko Posted December 28, 2023 Share Posted December 28, 2023 1 hour ago, 1_T said: Is it fine if I ask Izzy, which is a potential girlfriend, what country she is from next? So, could I say "I like something sweet too. What country are your parents from" That is a pretty abrupt change of topic. How about asking her if she'd like to meet at a coffee shop that has good pastries? 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Alpacalia Posted December 29, 2023 Share Posted December 29, 2023 2 hours ago, 1_T said: Me: Hi Izzy, how long have you been on OkCupid, I recently joined, and I am hoping to find someone who is looking for a relationship as seriously as I am. Izzy: Hi. Me: How's it going? Izzy: I'm goodI Izzy: You? Me: I'm doing well. What types of food do you like to eat? Izzy: Something sweet Is it fine if I ask Izzy, which is a potential girlfriend, what country she is from next? So, could I say "I like something sweet too. What country are your parents from" Why are you saying that you want to find someone "as seriously as you"? That could be seen as a little intense and could potentially scare someone off, especially if you've just matched with them. It's better to get to know someone first and see if you have a connection before talking about relationship expectations. And while it's okay to ask someone about their cultural background, it might be better to wait to ask about their parents' country until you have built more of a rapport and they feel comfortable sharing that information with you. You could ask something more general like, "What's your cultural background? I love learning about different cultures." This shows interest without making it overly personal. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted December 29, 2023 Share Posted December 29, 2023 Is there real potential that this person is not local, say within 1/2 hour of you? If so this is already a waste of time. You will not be able to meet any time soon or easily. If you are worried about having to pay for a cup of coffee if a date is not going well, you really shouldn't be getting involved with somebody where international travel may be part of the equation. That would be way too expensive. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
NapoleonBonaparte Posted January 9 Share Posted January 9 These surface-level things don't matter anywhere near as much as the adventure you make out of the date. Yeah you can use a gift card, so what? Own it. If she says anything just be like, "Out of all the other girls out there, I chose to use this gift card with you." Your time and attention are extremely valuable, the naysayers can kick rocks. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted January 9 Share Posted January 9 On 12/28/2023 at 7:07 PM, Alpacalia said: Why are you saying that you want to find someone "as seriously as you"? That could be seen as a little intense and could potentially scare someone off, especially if you've just matched with them When I was online dating that was my 2nd question. *what are you looking for on here*. I saved myself a lot of time by jumping right into the matter. My boyfriend first message to me contained he was looking for something serious, it's the reason I replied to his message, otherwise I would not have replied to his sexy little face. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Alpacalia Posted January 9 Share Posted January 9 11 minutes ago, Gaeta said: My boyfriend first message to me contained he was looking for something serious, it's the reason I replied to his message, otherwise I would not have replied to his sexy little face. It's good he did. He found himself a keeper! 😜 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Author 1_T Posted March 29 Author Share Posted March 29 On December 1, 2023 at 10:37 PM I said "Hi Young, how long have you been on OkCupid, I recently joined, and I am hoping to find someone who is looking for a relationship as seriously as I am." On February 6, 2024 at 9:15 PM Young said "hello" On February 12, 2024 at 10:38 PM I said "Why don't we meet for coffee/a drink? When would you like to meet?" And Young ghosts me afterwards, what to do? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Sony12 Posted March 29 Share Posted March 29 10 hours ago, 1_T said: On December 1, 2023 at 10:37 PM I said "Hi Young, how long have you been on OkCupid, I recently joined, and I am hoping to find someone who is looking for a relationship as seriously as I am." On February 6, 2024 at 9:15 PM Young said "hello" On February 12, 2024 at 10:38 PM I said "Why don't we meet for coffee/a drink? When would you like to meet?" And Young ghosts me afterwards, what to do? A one word reply two months after the message was sent isn't really a reply. The person was probably just at a point where they were trying to find more people to talk to at that moment and just went through all their old messages just to see who might still be active. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted March 29 Share Posted March 29 12 hours ago, 1_T said: On December 1, 2023 at 10:37 PM I said "Hi Young, how long have you been on OkCupid, I recently joined, and I am hoping to find someone who is looking for a relationship as seriously as I am." On February 6, 2024 at 9:15 PM Young said "hello" On February 12, 2024 at 10:38 PM I said "Why don't we meet for coffee/a drink? When would you like to meet?" And Young ghosts me afterwards, what to do? You do nothing. The profile only answered you 1 word in 2 months and you asked them for coffee? C'mon. Continue your search, have some standards, expect people will have a real conversation with you. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted March 29 Share Posted March 29 Delete and block "young". He seems like a timewaster who doesn't want to meet. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Sony12 Posted March 29 Share Posted March 29 (edited) I get new views from people I sent messages to months before all the time. I haven't looked at them for a long time but I still regularly get views from them. They don't reply to my message but they still occasionally open up my profile (likely to look at pictures) pretty consistently. What they do isn't that much different from what this person did to you. There are a lot of people on apps just window shopping and they like to just look at pictures. Edited March 29 by Sony12 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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