Matched with a girl I used to go college with, have her as a friend on facebook for last 15 years. Would it seem ok to directly message over facebook?

[ramboparrot]

Saw this girl I used to go college with back in 2009 on Tinder, we’ve been facebook friends since then.

 

We flirted a lot on Facebook around then and have spoken in person but I never asked her out (as I was very shy back then). Now I’m the complete opposite.

 

This past week since rejoining Tinder, I’ve been changing my preferences so she doesn’t pop up as part of me wanted to swipe right but kept overthinking would it be awkward.

 

Anyway tonight I thought screw it I’ll just swipe right, to my surprise I get the “you matched” screen. Always thought she was gorgeous and down to earth, but over the years either of us were usually with someone.

 

Now I’m always the type to message on the app, take it to whatsapp/text then go on a few dates before social media…

 

Would it be okay to send her a Facebook message (over messenger) due to already having her on it? We haven’t spoken for at least 10 years though.

[Wiseman2]

1 hour ago, ramboparrot said:

 tonight I thought screw it I’ll just swipe right, to my surprise I get the “you matched” screen. Would it be okay to send her a Facebook message.

It's fine to send a message to someone who's already on your social media and who you matched on tinder.

Why not just ask to meet up for a coffee/drink? 

[FredEire]

Yeah she matched you so why not? Maybe make a little joke about Tinder being a pain in the ass so you just thought it was easier to go direct. No need to overthink it.

Edited December 14, 2023 by FredEire

[d0nnivain]

Since you already know each other using an established channel to reach out is fine. 

What's creepy is when you match with a stranger, go out of your way to find that person on social media & then direct message them through that platform out of the blue.  You are not doing that so it's OK

 

[ramboparrot]

No worries guys, thank you for the advice! Yeah we’ve had times where we’ve liked each others statuses over the years, she knows my sister’s boyfriend too who she’ll have seen interact with me on there. 
 

Definitely used to flirt back in the day but I was shy and missed my shot. Suppose why not try? Unless she accidentally swiped right, worth asking. I agree would be creepy if we never had a history on there.

[CaliforniaGirl]

6 hours ago, ramboparrot said:

No worries guys, thank you for the advice! Yeah we’ve had times where we’ve liked each others statuses over the years, she knows my sister’s boyfriend too who she’ll have seen interact with me on there. 
 

Definitely used to flirt back in the day but I was shy and missed my shot. Suppose why not try? Unless she accidentally swiped right, worth asking. I agree would be creepy if we never had a history on there.

So then no problem, DM  her on Facebook. I wouldn't mention Tinder, though. Just say you were thinking of her.

[Wiseman2]

13 hours ago, ramboparrot said:

I’m always the type to message on the app, take it to whatsapp/text then go on a few dates before social media…

It's fine to send her a message on an already established social media connection.

Please rethink the strategy of all these lateral moves from dating apps to WhatsApp to texting etc. they seem like stalling.  It's fine after a few exchanges on a dating app to ask them out directly from there. 

[basil67]

If you message her on FB, how will you get the conversation to dating? I think it would be far more logical to use the app you matched on, then you can dive straight in to the topic

Edited December 15, 2023 by basil67

[FredEire]

Yeah I wouldn't waste much time on apps. Ask her out for a drink as soon as it seems appropriate, then just use Facebook/WhatsApp to set up your meeting. Idle chat on apps is a good way to get bored quickly.

[ramboparrot]

12 hours ago, FredEire said:

Yeah I wouldn't waste much time on apps. Ask her out for a drink as soon as it seems appropriate, then just use Facebook/WhatsApp to set up your meeting. Idle chat on apps is a good way to get bored quickly.

Funnily enough this happened exactly how you said it naturally. I was going to send her a Facebook message this morning but last night she messaged on tinder “fancy seeing you here”.

She was surprised I swiped right not left on her but I basically made some humour then said I don’t usually ask someone out so quickly but as we know of one another already if she wants to go out for a drink, she said yeah and gave me her number to message on whatsapp

[FredEire]

2 minutes ago, ramboparrot said:

Funnily enough this happened exactly how you said it naturally. I was going to send her a Facebook message this morning but last night she messaged on tinder “fancy seeing you here”.

She was surprised I swiped right not left on her but I basically made some humour then said I don’t usually ask someone out so quickly but as we know of one another already if she wants to go out for a drink, she said yeah and gave me her number to message on whatsapp

That's great! Glad if I was of some small help haha.

May have no idea how to manage a relationship but on getting dates from apps I'm quite an authority

[Alvi]

I am surprised you never asked her out by now. You knew her for a long time and liked her. She sounds very approachable and possibly likes you too. So, what stopped you?

[Wiseman2]

2 hours ago, ramboparrot said:

if she wants to go out for a drink, she said yeah and gave me her number to message on whatsapp

Why aren't you setting up a meeting?  She gave you her contact info for that reason. Maybe you're anxious or nervous but all these lateral messaging app moves seem like stalling to build up with courage?