What is attractive about a person that is confident ?

[Ready4you]

What wrong with a person who lacks self-confidence and one that is confident ?

[glows]

It all depends on how it’s perceived. Someone cocky and arrogant might perceive someone less open and forward as lacking confidence and be completely wrong. Conversely, someone appearing confident on the outside might be an insecure person on the inside. I find a quiet confidence and self-assuredness without a lot of talk very attractive but that’s personal preference. 

People can improve with time too, feeling good or better about themselves because ultimately that’s what it’s about. Being aware, feeling good and secure. Anyone in particular you’re thinking of or something bothering you?

Edited November 22, 2023 by glows

[basil67]

Why do you ask?  

[Ready4you]

1 hour ago, glows said:

It all depends on how it’s perceived. Someone cocky and arrogant might perceive someone less open and forward as lacking confidence and be completely wrong. Conversely, someone appearing confident on the outside might be an insecure person on the inside. I find a quiet confidence and self-assuredness without a lot of talk very attractive but that’s personal preference. 

People can improve with time too, feeling good or better about themselves because ultimately that’s what it’s about. Being aware, feeling good and secure. Anyone in particular you’re thinking of or something bothering you?

 I see some people are turn off by people who are nice maybe too nice. I think its because they are not confident in themselves .

[Wiseman2]

1 hour ago, Ready4you said:

 I see some people are turn off by people who are nice maybe too nice. I think its because they are not confident in themselves .

Why be confident And nice? This doesn't mean being doormat, it means being personable and approachable.

Make sure you are not getting brainwashed by pick-up artist rhetoric that implies being a cocky jerk is how you get the girls. 

[basil67]

When I say that someone is really nice, it's the highest compliment.  I mean, I'd hardly date someone who wasn't nice.

Confidence is attractive because the person has faith in their own decisions and don't go second guessing themselves.  And it's got nothing to do with being "nice"

[d0nnivain]

A truly confident person loves themselves & is comfortable in their own skin.  An obsequious people pleaser can come across as having anxiety & may be difficult / high maintenance because they need a tremendous amount of attention.   Being nice -- as in polite & thoughtful -- is a  good things.  

[glows]

4 hours ago, Ready4you said:

 I see some people are turn off by people who are nice maybe too nice. I think its because they are not confident in themselves .

That is certainly a possibility. Some can be intimidated by kindness and turn out to be incredibly insecure by any display of kindness. The same can be said for people who were taught manners and that others have rights and don’t particularly interfere. Yes, kindness or niceness can be grossly misunderstood and underestimated. 

 

[Alpacalia]

Confidence is attractive because it means someone is usually less controlling or jealous. Confident folks don't play games; they trust that you genuinely appreciate them as they are. Plus, they don't constantly seek validation or need their confidence boosted, which can be pretty tiring.

Sure, even confident people can have off days or doubts, but those moments don't define them.

It's not just the confidence itself that's appealing. It's more about avoiding the behaviors that often come from lacking confidence that can be a deal-breaker.

[BrinnM]

6 hours ago, Ready4you said:

I see some people are turn off by people who are nice maybe too nice. I think its because they are not confident in themselves .

Yeah, well, nobody takes a pushover seriously, or somebody who is over-accommodating and bends over backwards for somebody they perceive as superior or more powerful. 
…..but people who are really, truly, honestly  nice (and funny) are a real turn on. They like themselves and they’re confident. They don’t have to pretend. Hugely attractive.

[Wiseman2]

6 hours ago, Ready4you said:

. I think its because they are not confident in themselves .

I like this definition of confidence:

"They know their own strengths and weaknesses, and they are comfortable in their own skin. They do not feel the need to prove themselves to others or seek validation from external sources. Instead, they trust their own judgment and instincts, which allows them to make decisions confidently and without hesitation"

[Ready4you]

2 hours ago, BrinnM said:

Yeah, well, nobody takes a pushover seriously, or somebody who is over-accommodating and bends over backwards for somebody they perceive as superior or more powerful. 
…..but people who are really, truly, honestly  nice (and funny) are a real turn on. They like themselves and they’re confident. They don’t have to pretend. Hugely attractive.

Yes . This is answer . I am looking for .

[SlimShadysWife]

On 11/22/2023 at 4:06 AM, Ready4you said:

 I see some people are turn off by people who are nice maybe too nice. I think its because they are not confident in themselves .

Yup. They are overcompensating.

[regine_phalange]

Well, all people have insecurities - everyone wants to be accepted deep down. Some people are just better at hiding their insecurities and are managing these feelings better (are they ignoring them? Acting on them later? I don't know). So I see confidence as a trait that sits a little bit on the surface. I tend to be most interested in people who are not "confident" but are working on their selves one way or the other. It's more relatable I suppose? Makes for nice deep discussions I think... 🤨 That said, self-respect can be present regardless of whether someone appears confident, well-spoken, assertive, shy, anxious, etc. 

[RedBaron2765]

I find one of my wife's friends attractive to the point that I've actually had thoughts of her (if you get my meaning).  She's decent looking (not hot, but decent), and has no overriding physical features besides being well-endowed (which she doesn't flaunt), but she's a strong person who exudes confidence.   I just find her sexy mainly due to her confidence. 

[CaliforniaGirl]

Because if you act like you don't like yourself or that you're not up to another person's level, subconsciously she's going to wonder why. After all, you know you better than she knows you.