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Why do some people have to dominate every situation


tokidoki

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A friend of mine lives abroad and is coming back to town for a short time. She suggested meeting up on a Friday night, and I suggested a bar in a part of town that, to my mind, was equal travel distance for all involved. One of the people invited (not by me) was a person with whom I've experienced some tension lately given his seemingly pathological need to be in control of every situation.

He immediately undermined my suggestion, claiming it was 45 minutes travel for him, which was too far. He then suggested a place which was within a mile of the place I suggested, and went ahead and booked it before anyone could agree or disagree. He claimed that this place was 25 minutes for everyone to travel, giving the impression that he was being pragmatic where I wasn't. I checked and the difference in travel time for him to these two places is negligible, both around 40/45 minutes, which is totally standard in this town to get anywhere. I lightheartedly told him I thought he was fibbing, to which he became very defensive and started sending screenshots of travel apps to corroborate his claims.

I don't care at all where we go, I just picked somewhere that seemed to be in the middle for everyone. Just seems like a pathetic power play rather than a logistical thing.

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1 hour ago, tokidoki said:

I lightheartedly told him I thought he was fibbing, to which he became very defensive and started sending screenshots of travel apps to corroborate his claims.

All you can do is pick your battles. If it doesn't matter to you where everyone meets, just go with the flow. 

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Ugh, what an annoying prat. Not much you can do about it other than acknowledge that he has a bug up his rear about being in control, and avoid him as much you can. If you feel the need to do a passive-aggressive payback maybe organise another gathering while your friend's in town and don't invite him. 

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I would just let him have his tantrum and ignore him.  I would assume that the others in the group recognize his behavior as well and see it for what it is.  If he wants to make a fool of himself then let him.  It's not your problem and you can't control the actions of others so try to stay neutral.

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