GreatOne90 Posted October 30, 2023 Share Posted October 30, 2023 Hey all, So I've found myself to be in quite a predicament. I haven't really been looking for anyone to date, nor gone out of my way to look for someone. However, I met a girl that's a family friend and she lives at my sister's house. Recently, I've noticed that she stares at me often and whenever I catch her, she turns away or looks in another direction. Then the other day, I was smoking a cigar and she comes out of the room and is brazenly staring at me as she's walking by and I'm staring right back at her and she gave me the most unexpected "hi" which caused me to smoke on my cigar. Also almost forgot, whenever her and I talk, we both gaze deeply into each other's eyes and just smile. A few days ago, she asked me to see her fit and wanted my thoughts on it. Of course, I tried not to comment on it, since she is a family friend and I didn't want to make things weird. Fast forward to yesterday. She was going to a party with some friends and asked me if I liked her outfit and makeup and I said she was looking beautiful and she just stood there quietly. I will also add, we had a little get together at my sister's house and we were all drinking and dancing and having a good time and she returned a couple of hours later. At this point, we're both incredibly intoxicated. The party ended and she decided to head to bed and the remainder of the people left and I was practically alone with her in the room and I noticed that she wasn't properly in bed and I wanted to lay her down properly but she was being stubborn and didn't want to move at all. As we were both there, we were just there holding each other's hand the entire time and she was doing this rubbing motion on mine and whenever I asked her to look at me, she opened her eyes and gazed into my eyes and started to cover her face with a smile and I asked her why was she covering her face she started to shrug and say "I don't know" with a smile. I then said "come here" and she replied with "where?" And I said to me and she proceeded to ask "where are we going" to which I said "do you trust me?" And she said "yes" and that's when I said I was going to lay her down properly in her bed but she just kept saying no and just continued laying there holding my hand. Ultimately, someone walked in the room and she decided to fix herself and then said she was going to sleep. Now, this is where things start to get iffy. She's dating someone, but she told me that she wants to end things with the bf because as she doesn't has no feelings for him and hasn't found the right moment to end things but that she's working on it. What do I make of this? Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted October 30, 2023 Share Posted October 30, 2023 6 minutes ago, GreatOne90 said: I said I was going to lay her down properly in her bed but she just kept saying no. She's dating someone, Unfortunately it seems like she was quite drunk so it's good you didn't persist in assisting her into bed. . If she has a BF it's best to step way back. Perhaps keep your distance in general unless you hear from your sister that this woman is single and interested. Link to post Share on other sites
Alpacalia Posted October 30, 2023 Share Posted October 30, 2023 Odd that you expect an intoxicated woman that you're trying to finagle to "trust you." In any event, she has a boyfriend. Off limits. Link to post Share on other sites
glows Posted October 30, 2023 Share Posted October 30, 2023 (edited) Op, would you mind confirming your ages? Are you same sex? Another woman? She’s involved with someone else but likes flirting with others like yourself. She didn’t think your suggestion to take her to bed was appropriate so she turned it down. All of this doesn’t mean she’s willing to date you. Edited October 30, 2023 by glows Link to post Share on other sites
Author GreatOne90 Posted October 30, 2023 Author Share Posted October 30, 2023 6 hours ago, Wiseman2 said: Unfortunately it seems like she was quite drunk so it's good you didn't persist in assisting her into bed. . If she has a BF it's best to step way back. Perhaps keep your distance in general unless you hear from your sister that this woman is single and interested. Yeah, I've been keeping my distance since and haven't conversed with her as much. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted October 30, 2023 Share Posted October 30, 2023 6 hours ago, GreatOne90 said: I was practically alone with her in the room and I noticed that she wasn't properly in bed and I wanted to lay her down properly but she was being stubborn and didn't want to move at all. This was your cue to bid her goodnight and go on your way. Don't go pushing women to lay down when they make it very clear that they don't want to do it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author GreatOne90 Posted October 30, 2023 Author Share Posted October 30, 2023 6 minutes ago, glows said: Op, would you mind confirming your ages? Are you same sex? Another woman? She’s involved with someone else but likes flirting with others like yourself. She didn’t think your suggestion to take her to bed was appropriate so she turned it down. All of this doesn’t mean she’s willing to date you. 27 and 23 and we're male and female. I wasn't taking her anywhere. She was laying down in an uncomfortable position and I was trying to help her. But duly noted, I guess things can be perceived negatively, especially if we're intoxicated. Link to post Share on other sites
Author GreatOne90 Posted October 30, 2023 Author Share Posted October 30, 2023 6 minutes ago, basil67 said: This was your cue to bid her goodnight and go on your way. Don't go pushing women to lay down when they make it very clear that they don't want to do it. Well, once she fixed herself and wasn't in an uncomfortable position, that's when I left. Again, intentions weren't to try and do anything but I can see why it could be perceived in a bad light. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted October 30, 2023 Share Posted October 30, 2023 11 minutes ago, GreatOne90 said: Well, once she fixed herself and wasn't in an uncomfortable position, that's when I left. Again, intentions weren't to try and do anything but I can see why it could be perceived in a bad light. Sorry dude, all the eye gazing and hand strongly suggests you were there for more than making her comfortable. Unless a person is unconscious and needs to be placed in the recovery position...or you need to make sure they get the vomit into a bucket.... don't make them do stuff. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author GreatOne90 Posted October 30, 2023 Author Share Posted October 30, 2023 5 minutes ago, basil67 said: Sorry dude, all the eye gazing and hand strongly suggests you were there for more than making her comfortable. Unless a person is unconscious and needs to be placed in the recovery position...or you need to make sure they get the vomit into a bucket.... don't make them do stuff. I'm sorry, but I have to disagree with you there. Even though, yes, I was intoxicated, I wasn't going to try anything. You're insinuating something that isn't there. Link to post Share on other sites
glows Posted October 31, 2023 Share Posted October 31, 2023 I wonder who was the person who walked in? Wouldn’t it have gone back to her bf already that she was in her room alone with another guy? This could get messy and be a whole lot of drama. Most people wouldn’t get involved for obvious reasons. Im not sure why you’re asking us what to make of it. You seem to have a very clear understanding what is going on. Link to post Share on other sites
ShyViolet Posted October 31, 2023 Share Posted October 31, 2023 She has a bf but she likes getting attention from you. If she was actually interested in you she would end the relationship with her bf, the one that she claims she has no feelings for. If she isn't mature enough to do that, and just wants to continue playing these games with you while being in a relationship with someone else, then you are wasting your time with this. Link to post Share on other sites
Author GreatOne90 Posted October 31, 2023 Author Share Posted October 31, 2023 1 hour ago, glows said: I wonder who was the person who walked in? Wouldn’t it have gone back to her bf already that she was in her room alone with another guy? This could get messy and be a whole lot of drama. Most people wouldn’t get involved for obvious reasons. Im not sure why you’re asking us what to make of it. You seem to have a very clear understanding what is going on. It was one of her friends. And not sure, from what she has said is that she rarely talks to him and she doesn't have any feelings for him. And I agree, it certainly can get messy and that's what I'm trying to avoid. But at the same time, I'm just confused on whether these are mind games or not. Link to post Share on other sites
Author GreatOne90 Posted October 31, 2023 Author Share Posted October 31, 2023 1 hour ago, ShyViolet said: She has a bf but she likes getting attention from you. If she was actually interested in you she would end the relationship with her bf, the one that she claims she has no feelings for. If she isn't mature enough to do that, and just wants to continue playing these games with you while being in a relationship with someone else, then you are wasting your time with this. Yeah, if it is games then I've been doing well steering clear from her. I haven't really gone out of my way to talk to her or give her attention. I'm just gonna keep doing what I'm doing honestly continue ignoring her Link to post Share on other sites
glows Posted October 31, 2023 Share Posted October 31, 2023 37 minutes ago, GreatOne90 said: It was one of her friends. And not sure, from what she has said is that she rarely talks to him and she doesn't have any feelings for him. And I agree, it certainly can get messy and that's what I'm trying to avoid. But at the same time, I'm just confused on whether these are mind games or not. Probably just her kicks while feeling immensely lonely in a dysfunctional relationship. Agree. Just avoid her and treat her civilly, no need to be rude or anything. She should know staring is rude to begin with. Link to post Share on other sites
Author GreatOne90 Posted October 31, 2023 Author Share Posted October 31, 2023 10 hours ago, glows said: Probably just her kicks while feeling immensely lonely in a dysfunctional relationship. Agree. Just avoid her and treat her civilly, no need to be rude or anything. She should know staring is rude to begin with. I honestly won't. I don't see any point in being rude or becoming uncivil toward her. I wouldn't get anything out of it at all if I did that. Link to post Share on other sites
NuevoYorko Posted October 31, 2023 Share Posted October 31, 2023 Weird story. Why did you follow her into the bedroom when she said she was going to bed? That was not a very "trustworthy" move. Back off. She lives with your sister and has a boyfriend. You don't need to add strange complications. Link to post Share on other sites
Author GreatOne90 Posted October 31, 2023 Author Share Posted October 31, 2023 47 minutes ago, NuevoYorko said: Weird story. Why did you follow her into the bedroom when she said she was going to bed? That was not a very "trustworthy" move. Back off. She lives with your sister and has a boyfriend. You don't need to add strange complications. Where in my post did I say she said she was headed to bed and that I followed her? You and basil both have zero reading comprehension and seem to jump to assumptions. Link to post Share on other sites
glows Posted October 31, 2023 Share Posted October 31, 2023 Not nice, Op.. you mentioned she was laying on a bed not specifying what room you were both in. It could have been on the front porch for all we know but it’s logical to assume a bed would be in a bedroom and seeing as she lives with her sister one would hope she has her own bedroom. Anyway, this gal is all mixed up. Good you’re deciding to steer clear and remain civil. Link to post Share on other sites
Alpacalia Posted October 31, 2023 Share Posted October 31, 2023 How did you end up in her room? Why did you ask her if she trusts you? Are you an official bed tucker that she needed help laying down in bed? Not saying she's innocent in all this. Seems like you enjoyed the interactions fully knowing she has a boyfriend. I also wouldn't have taken what she said about her and her boyfriend being on the outs as gospel. Leave her to her own devices. Link to post Share on other sites
Lisa Posted November 1, 2023 Senior Moderators Share Posted November 1, 2023 Thread has ceased to be productive. It has had a clean up and is now closed Link to post Share on other sites
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