Partner who is avoiding to solve the problem and not providing clarity and closure

[Weezy1973]

17 hours ago, Pansy said:

The lack of full disclosure of his long term relationship at the beginning of our romantic involvement was indeed a challenge.

So above you speak about your romantic involvement with this man, but then you say:

8 hours ago, Pansy said:

You are correct that our connection wasn't a romantic one, and there was no declaration of love or sexual contact between us.

So I suspect a lot of this was in your head. You both were experiencing high emotions about things going on in the outside world, and it seems you then interpreted that as romantic feelings. Which he didn’t share. And now you’re feeling hurt, rejected, unworthy of being loved, not because of what he did, but because of the fantasy that you made up in your mind. Therapy might be a good course of action for you.

[Pansy]

12 minutes ago, Weezy1973 said:

So above you speak about your romantic involvement with this man, but then you say:

So I suspect a lot of this was in your head. You both were experiencing high emotions about things going on in the outside world, and it seems you then interpreted that as romantic feelings. Which he didn’t share. And now you’re feeling hurt, rejected, unworthy of being loved, not because of what he did, but because of the fantasy that you made up in your mind. Therapy might be a good course of action for you.

 

Thank you for sharing your perspective. I acknowledge that emotions can be complex and sometimes challenging to interpret.
While I understand that our interactions were deeply emotional, it's essential to clarify that our bond was genuine, albeit complicated.

I have taken steps to address my feelings and navigate this situation with care and self-reflection.

I appreciate your suggestion regarding therapy, and it's a path I'm considering to ensure my emotional well-being moving forward. Your insights are valued, and I'm taking them into consideration as I work through this experience.

[Pansy]

"Dear All,

I want to express my sincere gratitude to each one of you for taking the time to read my post and share your valuable insights and perspectives. Your comments and advice have been immensely helpful and comforting during this challenging time.

I've deeply appreciated the support and understanding I've found in this forum. However, I need to take a step back and focus on my own well-being and personal growth. As I embark on this journey, I won't be able to reply to further comments.

Please know that your kindness and wisdom have not gone unnoticed, and I will carry your words with me as I move forward. Thank you once again for your understanding and support.

Wishing you all the best in your own journeys.

Warm regards,

Pansy "

[Lotsgoingon]

You need to update your dating software to correct for a huge flaw that is getting you into trouble. 

Expunge the word "hurt" from your vocabulary when it comes to dating. You are using the word in an unhelpful, codependent way.  Unless you took a hammer to his head you don't want to use the word "hurt." I have had gfs who dumped me and yes, I felt hurt. But my hurt is not their responsibility. Feeling hurt and rejected is part and parcel of dating. 

You could grab 100 people on the street and ask them if you "hurt" some, as in injured them, by deciding not to date them, and they would all say that "hurt" is not your responsibility. Now, you if did a bunch of lying and cheating and stealing money from and denigrating and attacking their esteem, those can be acts of hurt. But those are IN the relationship. 

When it comes to breaking up, we have 100 percent right to ONLY consider our best interest. In fact, it will "hurt" the person to later find out we were dating them because we didn't want to "hurt" them. Update your dating software. Yes, everyone feels bad when the other person initiates a breakup. And everyone survives. And not only survives, but often learns, learns a lot, from the experience. I've had women break up with me and have felt devastated and then a year later, I thought, "Thank God, they did that! That relationship was going nowhere. I was just in denial." 

Good luck. Also be careful about using words like the relationship was "complex" or "complicated." We don't want complicated relationships. In relationships, we want simple--they like us and want us and treat us well and we like them.