Turning 40 on Monday

[despairingbuttrying]

I am turning 40 on Monday and like most people when they turned this age, this milestone does feel so surreal. I know many people have a mixture of varying emotions when it comes to birthdays and celebrating your own and for me I'm very much in the group that has real anxiety and stress and even more so with this age. 

 

I've had some decent birthdays over the years, where I've been overseas that's always been quite nice either with a small group or one other person and a couple of ones at home which have been OK but also some unfortunate birthdays where I've ended up alone because I had to travel for work and so was on my own for the duration of my actual birthday on those occasion. 

 

Personally what has had the most effect is being single which name things so much harder. I haven't had a proper relationship for over 8 years and never had one over a year and a bit. I never thought I'd reach 40 and still have no one in my life, no children, nothing really to live for. Birthdays for sure would have been far easier to manage because I would have just been happy spending the day with a partner (and potentially children) as I'm assuming many do and that literally takes away all the stress. 

 

So as I turn 40 in a matter of days now, I decided to have a meal with 10 guy friends on the weekend so at least that's something. But my actual 40th birthday is on Monday and I have a tennis lesson in the morning and later on the evening will have a meal out with my parents but after from that, that's it so far. Any ideas please on what I can do for most of the day? I thought I could go to the spa and get a treatment maybe? Maybe a driving experience somewhere. Could drive to the beach if the weather is good. 

 

If you are over 40, what did you do? And how did you feel? 

[Wiseman2]

26 minutes ago, despairingbuttrying said:

 I decided to have a meal with 10 guy friends on the weekend so at least that's something. But my actual 40th birthday is on Monday and I have a tennis lesson in the morning and later on the evening will have a meal out with my parents but after from that, that's it so far. 

Happy birthday. Your plans sound great. Perhaps leave some time open for surprises and other friends and family. Don't sweat the midlife crisis thing.

[JTSW]

I had Covid on my 40th so I was devastated that I couldn't celebrate that mile stone.

Don't stress over age. It's just a number.

I'm just thankful that I reach these milestones.

 

[d0nnivain]

Birthdays with zeros are always unnerving.  

Doing what you enjoy surrounded by people you love is the best way to celebrate.  I was unmarried never been married with np kids at 40.  Be happy you are a guy.  No biological clock.  You still have time. 

My groups always fussed for the "big" birthdays.  I had a surprise party for my 21st.  I had a small party at home for my 30ths.  For my 40th all my single childhood friends agreed we would throw huge blow out bashes for each other for our 40th birthdays because there was no one else to do it.  We had 5 great parties that year which was even more fun because 1/2 the guests were at all 5 events.  

For 50 everybody decided to travel.  It was a different group, my college friends, & a bunch were born in the same month so we rented a gorgeous mansion on the ocean in the Caymans for a week to celebrate.  For mine we all went to Hawaii.  This year for my husband's 50th we went to Greece for 2 weeks.   There were other birthday trips to St. Augustine, Los Angeles, Las Vegas, Hilton Head, and camping in PA to celebrate other milestones.   One group went to Japan but DH & I couldn't afford that one.  

You designed things with your nearest & dearest which is the best gift of all.  Embrace the idea that Life Begins at 40!  Enjoy your celebration.  

 

[Foxhall]

Happy Birthday!!

It is somewhat unsettling I guess,

Being honest i still feel young enough and Im a little older now than 40 (how did that happen)

I think back to the year 2000 and feel that was not that long ago- and if we look ahead the same length of time- If im still around Ill be well into 60s,

that is scary enough ,

then as someone says to me, a lot do not even make 40,

I still feel I could land a 30 year old lady if I really wanted too, but I guess I dont have as much time now as I once had,

hope there is still a few good years ahead for us.

 

[despairingbuttrying]

Thanks for all your comments and thoughts.  

I had a good day overall, played tennis in the morning, saw my best mate after and then had a supercar driving experience which was fun followed by a nice meal in the evening with my parents. 

Have to say, the transition from 39 - 40 I think wasn't as stressful for me, compared to turning 30 which I think definitely was.  I think due to the fact that half of your 20s, your early 20s, you're essentially still a kid so the 30 milestone felt like a realisation of being a proper grown up and having to take things more seriously.  I think from my early 30s onwards, I already felt a little weathered and experienced so 40 doesn't seem all that bad, although that said just the number does feel old!  

Anyway, I'm trying to look forward to the next decade and whatever the future brings.  I think for myself the two biggest issues are the two issues that have given me anxiety and disappointment my entire life - the search for the right job/career and meeting a woman I want to share my life with.