What was his point in deleting the text message

[Kim7890]

So I used to talk with the guy it was toxic asf but there was a deep connection anyways I ended up cutting him off then I came back. Which I’ve done multiple times with him. Not sure why? He takes me back every time?? Anyways he reaches out to me apologizing. I asked him if he were single. He says yes “I’m not interested in nobody and don’t like anyone.” then a couple days after that he asks if he could see me I said I was busy at the moment with a friend but I could later. He then asked if my “friend was a guy”. Then the next morning comes and he texts me “where are you at ? Wyd ? This was like at 7am I didn’t respond but I could still see it. Then he deleted after like 2 mins ??? Then I responded telling him what I was doing then I asked him and he tell me. Then I proceeded to ask him why he deleted the text and he ignored me ??? Then asks me if he can take me to lunch rn. I told him I was busy at the moment but I could after and …. That was it ??? I feel like he deleted the text cause he was probably embarrassed. Yet I don’t get all these games ?? What do y’all think it is ???

[basil67]

I can't begin to guess what his motive was, nor is there any particular interest/non interest in you.  Is this actually working for you?

[Kim7890]

13 minutes ago, basil67 said:

I can't begin to guess what his motive was, nor is there any particular interest/non interest in you.  Is this actually working for you?

I’m confused about your answer?

[basil67]

OK, let me turn it around:  What do you want from this situation?  

[Alpacalia]

I'm not sure what you expect here. He's been blown off by you several times now. If he has an ounce of respect, he won't keep coming back to you. Most confident men won't put up with your games. It seems to me that he's either too afraid of rejection or is lacking self respect. If this continues, he will just keep playing these games with you and you're the one who will keep getting hurt.

As for asking who you're with, well, that's not really a positive thing either. It's a sign that he's trying to keep tabs on you or control your actions. In either case, it's not a good sign.

[JTSW]

You're both toxic.

You ignore some of his messages which makes him feel a little insecure.

You're not innocent here OP.

[Kim7890]

2 hours ago, JTSW said:

You're both toxic.

You ignore some of his messages which makes him feel a little insecure.

You're not innocent here OP.

When did I ignore him ? 

[Kim7890]

6 hours ago, Alpacalia said:

I'm not sure what you expect here. He's been blown off by you several times now. If he has an ounce of respect, he won't keep coming back to you. Most confident men won't put up with your games. It seems to me that he's either too afraid of rejection or is lacking self respect. If this continues, he will just keep playing these games with you and you're the one who will keep getting hurt.

As for asking who you're with, well, that's not really a positive thing either. It's a sign that he's trying to keep tabs on you or control your actions. In either case, it's not a good sign.

Why do you think he’s playing these games with me ?

[stillafool]

 

10 minutes ago, Kim7890 said:

Why do you think he’s playing these games with me ?

Probably because of the games you played with him as indicated below:  Maybe neither of you are sure why you do what you do.

8 hours ago, Kim7890 said:

I ended up cutting him off then I came back. Which I’ve done multiple times with him. Not sure why? He takes me back every time??

You said "I used to talk to a guy", so this guy is in your past but still on your mind?

[JTSW]

13 minutes ago, Kim7890 said:

When did I ignore him ? 

Below are what likely made him feel insecure. 

8 hours ago, Kim7890 said:

I ended up cutting him off then I came back. Which I’ve done multiple times with him.

 

8 hours ago, Kim7890 said:

he texts me “where are you at ? Wyd ? This was like at 7am I didn’t respond

Cutting him off and coming back multiple times, then ignoring messages is going to mess with his head.

[JTSW]

15 minutes ago, Kim7890 said:

Why do you think he’s playing these games with me ?

He's not. 

You are the one playing games.

[glows]

In future when someone deletes a message it means they don’t want it to be seen, period. You don’t need to overanalyze the person or ask them why. Just let it go. For whatever reason he’s writing and deleting but who cares - it’s his prerogative. 

Why do you keep cutting him off? If you’re busy give the other person an alternative time to meet if you want to meet. If it never goes through or he’s not making himself available with more warning to you aside from RIGHT NOW then you know this person is not interested in you. They’re just doing what they want when they want at their own convenience.

He told you he doesn’t like anyone so probably thinks you have a crush on him or overthink this “connection”. Just leave him alone if he bothers you.
 

[Kim7890]

6 minutes ago, glows said:

In future when someone deletes a message it means they don’t want it to be seen, period. You don’t need to overanalyze the person or ask them why. Just let it go. For whatever reason he’s writing and deleting but who cares - it’s his prerogative. 

Why do you keep cutting him off? If you’re busy give the other person an alternative time to meet if you want to meet. If it never goes through or he’s not making himself available with more warning to you aside from RIGHT NOW then you know this person is not interested in you. They’re just doing what they want when they want at their own convenience.

He told you he doesn’t like anyone so probably thinks you have a crush on him or overthink this “connection”. Just leave him alone if he bothers you.
 

He doesn’t like anyone yet is texting me at 7am in the morning and asking me on breakfast and lunch dates, and asking me where I am and if I’m with a man ? 

[Kim7890]

8 minutes ago, JTSW said:

He's not. 

You are the one playing games.

No I’m not I never ignored his text. He didn’t give me a chance to respond he deleted it like two minutes after sending it 

[glows]

1 minute ago, Kim7890 said:

He doesn’t like anyone yet is texting me at 7am in the morning and asking me on breakfast and lunch dates, and asking me where I am and if I’m with a man ? 

He deletes them. You’re right - there is some game playing but you never seem available so this isn’t working out.

As mentioned earlier also, if he’s only ever asking you out “RN” or Right Now as opposed to making an effort or making plans ahead of time you know this guy just can’t be arsed to date you. I don’t think these are dates. 

[Kim7890]

1 minute ago, glows said:

He deletes them. You’re right - there is some game playing but you never seem available so this isn’t working out.

As mentioned earlier also, if he’s only ever asking you out “RN” or Right Now as opposed to making an effort or making plans ahead of time you know this guy just can’t be arsed to date you. I don’t think these are dates. 

He only deleted that one at 7am asking me “where I’m at, and wyd”  the others he didn’t delete 

[JTSW]

7 minutes ago, Kim7890 said:

He doesn’t like anyone yet is texting me at 7am in the morning and asking me on breakfast and lunch dates, and asking me where I am and if I’m with a man ? 

What does it matter if you're not talking to him anymore?

What exactly are you looking for here?

Are you looking to back yet again?

Edited August 2, 2023 by JTSW

[Kim7890]

Just now, JTSW said:

What does it matter if you're not talking to him anymore?

We just talked yesterday when this happened 

[Alpacalia]

3 minutes ago, glows said:

He deletes them. You’re right - there is some game playing but you never seem available so this isn’t working out.

As mentioned earlier also, if he’s only ever asking you out “RN” or Right Now as opposed to making an effort or making plans ahead of time you know this guy just can’t be arsed to date you. I don’t think these are dates. 

 

7 minutes ago, Kim7890 said:

He doesn’t like anyone yet is texting me at 7am in the morning and asking me on breakfast and lunch dates, and asking me where I am and if I’m with a man ? 

Agree with @glows. Last minute dates is low effort.

[Kim7890]

About a month ago I was in the city that he lives in and I posted it on my socials because I was at a restaurant. He viewed it and seen it two seconds after me posting it he started texting me asking me where I am, then he started calling me twice. He deleted the text message after I didn’t answer his phone call. I asked him why he deleted it. He said “ it doesn’t matter, your probably not even by me anymore plus you didn’t answer my phone call” 

[Alpacalia]

Have you ever been asked out on a date where you had time to think about it and your answer? If you have chosen to end the relationship multiple times, it's likely he won't put in much effort in moving forward. Do you think it's a good idea to try and give the relationship another chance, even if it was toxic in the past? What are you hoping to gain from this?

Edited August 2, 2023 by Alpacalia

[glows]

Do you both live quite far from one another? 

 

[smackie9]

He has metal issues...he thinks differently, that's why you are confused with his behavior. He doesn't have coping skills, so behaves weird. He doesn't know how to be normal. That's why your conversations go down hill fast, he pulls away, deletes messages, etc. He's all over the place. Nothing you can do for him. He's just gonna keep making you crazy so it would be best to part ways. Your self esteem could use a boost right? grab some friends, get out in the sun, meet new people and enjoy yourself. 

[Kim7890]

1 hour ago, glows said:

Do you both live quite far from one another? 

 

Nope the same state probably like 20 mins away 

[NuevoYorko]

He's probably trying to disengage from a toxic and, frankly,  amazingly immature exercise in game playing.  I wouldn't want to see that on my phone either.  Depressing.