Is it my fault. Am I crazy?

[depressed101]

Its been going on for 10 years now. The first time he hit me was 2 years into our relationship. He was always jelous and accusing me of sleeping with everyone. He accused me of sleeping with his sisters boyfriend first, then it was our landlord, he used to accuse me all the time. It made me so sad. Then he said I cheated on him, which his sister told him. I paid for a lie detector to prove it. The lie detector was based on since we met. I passed 100% that I have never kissed, had sex or even spoken to someone sexually. His family said it was a fake lie detector. The lie detector person is the best in the uk and even works with police. 
I don't know how it happened the first time, but we were both stupidly taking drugs and drinking alot at that time, we havent taken drugs for 4 years now as it was causing problems. So we were screaming and shouting about something, i think he accused me of cheating. And I had found his laptop open with tabs and tabs of porn on it open. I slapped him and threw his laptop and he punched me in the face and knocked me down.
Our arguments kept on getting worse and he would regularly result to violence. 
Also I didnt get to meet his parents until 8 years into our relationship as his sister was constantly lying about me and they were racist. 
He used to go to homeland by himself and he used to go with his sister who was constantly lying about me. 
I got his sister a job in the place i work even after the lies to try to be nice and help her as she had no job.
I also let her stay with us rent free. 
She got fired from the job for stealing but told her whole family it was my fault. My other half believed her and we nearly split up. He was also unemployed for a total of 4 years during our relationship but I always worked and stuck by him. When he finally took me to homeland 8 years into our relationship, as I said its not right or fair, his parents liked me. His sister continued to try to ruin our relationship. And she still does to this day. I wanted to finally make everyone get along so we could move forward with our lives and be happy. So I made a suprize and booked a holiday for all of us including his sister. Oh I forgot. Previously his sister booked a holiday for everyone but did not include me. But he did not go. So I booker this holiday, for this year, I made a group chat for the 3 of us as I wanted it to be a suprize for his parents and we would tell them at a later date. His sister started complaining saying she doesnt want her own room and wants to share with her parents. My partner and I agreee that it would be much nicer for them to have their own room as they have not had a holiday for many years. Anyway she made a big fuss. My partner told her that we are organising it as this is how it will be and not to tell her parents. Things got heated and I called her out on her lies over the years and the lies about me cheating and getting her fired. She then told her parents that I was horrible to her and she also told them about the holiday. We were due to go to his homeland that month, we did not know at the time that she had told them. Bearing in mind she was acting like normal, coming to my house and I was always giving her food. We went to his homeland and I was greeted extremely frostily by them. They never tell us what she says so I never know what lies she has told. I could tell something was wrong straight away. On the first night we presented them with the suprize. An envelope with the holiday. The said they didnt want to go because she had told them I was horrible to her, so she had already told them. The whole 10 days we were in his homeland, they treated me disgustingly and I spent 80% of the time in the other room. His mum even threw me out of the house when my partner was sleeping and I spent the whole night in the freezing cold in winter, which is very cold there. There was arguenents between myself and his mum so I am not saying I am an angel but I could have died.  After we left they told my partner that I am never allowed into their home. Can someone please tell me that I am not crazy and this is not normal. 
We have alot of verbal arguments due to his family and after 10 years its just making me depressed. I tried so hard and I gave everything. I  have just given up hope and don't have it in me to keep giving when im being treated like nothing. Also his sister callee me a slave and almost every racist slur you can think of. His mum also called me racist words. What do I do. We do not have children as we are not married after 10 years and I wouldn't bring children into this. I am 31, he is 40 his sister is 40. The violence happened about 10 times in the 8 years maybe more. 

[stillafool]

I'm sorry to hear you are still involved with this very abusive man.  Why haven't you left him and made a better life for yourself?  Especially since you don't have children, why are you still there?

[JTSW]

On 7/19/2023 at 7:16 PM, depressed101 said:

What do I do?

Is this a serious question?

Your post is the most severely messed up thing I have ever read.

I almost didn't believe it was real.

I'm baffled why you are asking what to do, when you know damn well what to do.

I am actually very angry with you for allowing this to go on for so long.

The first time he hit you, you should have been long gone.

He and his whole physically, mentally and emotionally abuse you.

All because his disgusting sister is obviously insanely jealous of you.

Give me one good reason why chose to stay?

You need to leave now, and for good and never have any kind of association with these disgusting evil people.

NO MAN SHOULD EVER RAISE A HAND TO A WOMAN!

[Wiseman2]

On 7/19/2023 at 2:16 PM, depressed101 said:

 we were both stupidly taking drugs and drinking alot at that time, we havent taken drugs for 4 years now as it was causing problems. . I slapped him and threw his laptop and he punched me in the face and knocked me down.
 

Do you live together?  Do you have friends and family you can stay with? 

Please focus on your physical and mental health. Get help for the drinking. Please stay away from violence. You need to leave the situation. If there is violence call the police.

[MsJayne]

No, it's not your fault, and no, you're not crazy.  My advice is to get away from these people as quickly as possible because your partner is a woman-basher, (aka oxygen thief), and his entire family are openly racist. I suggest you attend counselling to report the racist slurs aimed at you, there are anti-discrimination laws in place to deal with this in the UK, and you may even be entitled to compensation if you've suffered as a result of their abuse. If you're stuck in this situation for the time being, please at least stop giving the parasite sister food, accommodation, holidays, and the time of day, and avoid his family as much as you possibly can. These people have treated you appallingly and they sound like they're just below a bucket of sewage on the social desirability scale. If you can afford to pay for holidays for these Neanderthals you can afford to find a place of your own.