sadgirlvibes1 Posted June 2, 2023 Share Posted June 2, 2023 The other night I was about to go to sleep and my boyfriend of over 3 years was "sleeping". I heard him get up and grab my cell phone and when I asked him where my phone went, he insisted he did not know where it was. I asked him politely if I could have it back and he refused to give me my phone back because he needed to look at something. At this point I was very frustrated because I felt as if he was hiding something from me. I then get a text from my friend asking what was on his snapchat story. When I confronted him he still wouldn't tell me why he needed my phone or why my friend was texting me. After arguing, he finally told me that he was editing a picture of himself to make him look like a female and posted the images on his snapchat story, and thought that he had blocked his friends list. I am feeling very betrayed by the lying and the secrets. The worst part is that he has already been lying to me about the amount of adderall he is taking. After addressing the issue, I was very upset and hurt and I did not want to be in his presence. He then found a way to turn the situation onto me and then started looking through my phone because he thinks I am the one who is cheating. I have proven to be loyal to him and literally dedicate my life to catering to his needs. What do I do and am I in the wrong for being upset? Link to post Share on other sites
glows Posted June 2, 2023 Share Posted June 2, 2023 Do you live together? You seem drained and upset by his lies and behaviour. So why continue on with the relationship? Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted June 2, 2023 Share Posted June 2, 2023 1 hour ago, sadgirlvibes1 said: I have proven to be loyal to him and literally dedicate my life to catering to his needs. What do I do and am I in the wrong for being upset? Then he is not worthy of your love and dedication. If you give a lot to a man, he has to give you a lot in return as well otherwise he's not worth it. Your boyfriend is a 'boy', lying and playing games on social media, and add to that abuse of prescription drugs. Where do you think this relationship is heading? It's heading nowhere. Get rid of this 'boy' and go date 'men', you'll find the difference refreshing. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Lotsgoingon Posted June 2, 2023 Share Posted June 2, 2023 Dump this guy. Taking your phone and refusing to return it at your request, dump his behind! What's taking you so long? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ShyViolet Posted June 2, 2023 Share Posted June 2, 2023 This is bizarre, controlling behavior and no it's not normal at all. Why on earth are you putting up with this? There is no way I'd continue a relationship with a guy like this. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted June 2, 2023 Share Posted June 2, 2023 5 hours ago, sadgirlvibes1 said: . He then found a way to turn the situation onto me and then started looking through my phone because he thinks I am the one who is cheating Talk to trusted friends and family about this abusive and controlling behavior . How old is he? Please put a passcode on all your devices. Never let anyone paw through your phone. He seems like trouble and seems to have issues with substance misuse. He's bad news. End it before he does more inappropriate things and damage to you. Please stop "catering to" him. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted June 2, 2023 Share Posted June 2, 2023 9 hours ago, sadgirlvibes1 said: literally dedicate my life to catering to his needs Aside from his bizarre use of your phone and issues with meds, this part worries me. Short of him being disabled and needing you to be his carer, why would you do this? What's going on? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted June 3, 2023 Share Posted June 3, 2023 This relationship sounds awful and dysfunctional. You need to get away from him for good. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted June 3, 2023 Share Posted June 3, 2023 his accusations of cheating is called projecting...in other words he's the cheater. You need to leave him. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Alvino Martins Posted June 16, 2023 Share Posted June 16, 2023 Woah, that's definitely a huge red flag. It sounds like your boyfriend's behavior is concerning and raises some serious trust issues. Taking your phone without your permission and refusing to give it back is a breach of boundaries and a violation of your privacy. His actions of trying to make himself look like a female on social media and hiding it from you, along with his accusations and invasion of your privacy, are not healthy behaviors in a relationship. It's important to prioritize your own well-being and emotional security. You have every right to be upset and hurt by his actions. Trust is a fundamental aspect of any relationship, and it seems like it's been broken here. It may be necessary to have an open and honest conversation with your boyfriend about your concerns and evaluate whether this relationship is healthy and fulfilling for you. Remember, you deserve respect, trust, and honesty in a relationship. If these issues persist or you continue to feel uneasy, it might be beneficial to seek support from friends, family, or even a professional to help navigate this situation. Link to post Share on other sites
MarkB96 Posted June 17, 2023 Share Posted June 17, 2023 Definitely insecure, and when someone takes your phone in a relationship without you knowing it's usually only for one reason (they are trying to see if your cheating) I don't know why he doesn't trust it could be a few reasons, but the one i see the most and don't take this as a definite because i don't know either of your lives but when someone has cheated they turn on their partner and think they are cheating because they got away with it they think you are as well or need to see if you have done anything wrong so they don't feel as guilty, but that is a complete guess, either way taking your phone is a big red flag clearly doesn't trust you and once the trust is gone it never fully returns, the snapchat thing is weird as hell i mean what he needed your phone in the middle of the night to take a snapchat and send it to your friend, i mean thats the worst lie i've ever heard so regardless he's up to something shady and don't allow him to play off taking your phone that's a major violation of trust, a serious talk is needed but don't think you'll get the truth as he's a known liar, no-one needs to be feeling how your are just because someone else is paranoid, my honest advice is and this is easy to say when your not involved but he's betrayed your trust and is lying to you about multiple things so take a hard look at this relationship and decide if that's what you want. Mark Link to post Share on other sites
Jesslyn Posted June 17, 2023 Share Posted June 17, 2023 I'm sorry to hear about the situation you're going through with your boyfriend. It's understandable that you feel hurt and betrayed by his actions, especially after three years together. It sounds like there are some concerning behaviors, such as hiding things from you and lying about his medication usage. In this situation, it may be important to prioritize your own well-being and seek some help or support. Consider talking to a trusted friend, family member, or even a professional counselor who can provide guidance and perspective. They can help you navigate your emotions and determine the best course of action moving forward. Remember, it's okay to feel upset and hurt in this situation. Trust is an essential component of a healthy relationship, and it's important to address any issues that arise. Link to post Share on other sites
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