heidivegac94 Posted April 23, 2023 Share Posted April 23, 2023 So, I started working with this co-worker in August and by the New Year we became really good friends. In the space of a few weeks we then became even closer and it then got to a point (I think around the middle of February) where he was telling me that he was falling in love with me and was even considering moving to my city (I live an hour away from my work) to be with me. He would come up to visit me and spent a good deal of money on my birthday gifts. We would talk everyday and he would always be so supportive and seem genuinely excited to speak to me; he would tell me things like 'you've turned my world upside down' and 'I just want you around all the time'. Now things don't feel the same; he speaks to me less and less outside of work and his language doesn't seem as affectionate anymore. However, one thing that I've noticed is that he is still very sexually attracted to me, but it seems that that is where the closeness ends. I'm starting a new job soon (which is when his behaviour started changing) and I'm just wondering what should I do? I've really enjoyed our friendship but I also have stronger feelings for him now. It seems that, as my feelings were growing, his were slipping away. I'm now just wondering if I should call him out on it, somewhat ignore it to try to retain the friendship, or to just let it fizzle out and start my new job unattached from him. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted April 23, 2023 Share Posted April 23, 2023 All of this sweet talk; but you never mentioned him asking you to go out. Did he ever take you out on a date? If not, he was just trying to get sex by using sweet talk. He may now be interested in someone else and that's why he's pulled back. When guys come on too strong in the beginning it's a red flag. Slow and steady wins the race. Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted April 23, 2023 Share Posted April 23, 2023 8 hours ago, heidivegac94 said: It seems that, as my feelings were growing, his were slipping away. I'm now just wondering if I should call him out on it, somewhat ignore it to try to retain the friendship, Were you dating? Friends? Or FWB? What was the nature of your situation? There's nothing to "call out" because he is not contacting you as much or appears to be less communicative. Especially when you describe the situation as "friends". Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted April 24, 2023 Share Posted April 24, 2023 16 hours ago, stillafool said: Did he ever take you out on a date? That's my question too. He's falling in love and wanted to move and other frilly words, but it seems you two are not even dating. Is that right? Link to post Share on other sites
JTSW Posted April 24, 2023 Share Posted April 24, 2023 My guess is you starting a new job is making him upset that he wont see you at work now. You need to have a talk with him and be honest about how you really feel. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted April 24, 2023 Share Posted April 24, 2023 (edited) Looking at your history it seems he broke it off with you in September. Did you get back with him after that and now he's breaking with you again or is this about the August break up and you haven't gotten over him yet? Edited April 24, 2023 by stillafool Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted April 24, 2023 Share Posted April 24, 2023 On 4/23/2023 at 4:09 AM, heidivegac94 said: However, one thing that I've noticed is that he is still very sexually attracted to me, but it seems that that is where the closeness ends. I hope you're not having sex with him again after he broke it off in September because he's just using you for sex. Link to post Share on other sites
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