Author Jessicat98 Posted April 26, 2023 Author Share Posted April 26, 2023 I shouldn’t gossip about him really. I only told my colleagues that I told his boss. I knew he has complained that his boss didn’t do a proper investigation and he wants his bonus. Link to post Share on other sites
JTSW Posted April 26, 2023 Share Posted April 26, 2023 Why did you feel such a need to destroy someone who never did anything to you? Have you had a bad past? Have you tried therapy? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jessicat98 Posted April 26, 2023 Author Share Posted April 26, 2023 He won’t come back and talk he avoids me. He has been good to me. Link to post Share on other sites
JTSW Posted April 26, 2023 Share Posted April 26, 2023 3 minutes ago, Jessicat98 said: He has been good to me. That's why we are all so baffled why you something so nasty to him. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jessicat98 Posted April 26, 2023 Author Share Posted April 26, 2023 1 hour ago, JTSW said: That's why we are all so baffled why you something so nasty to him. He used to give me lots of attention say nice and sweet things to me how I mean a lot to him. I foolishly (I admit) told the company gossip who told everyone. The company gossip spread rumours about me and told me it was my friend/colleague I know it wasn’t now. Link to post Share on other sites
NuevoYorko Posted April 26, 2023 Share Posted April 26, 2023 (edited) 57 minutes ago, Jessicat98 said: He used to give me lots of attention say nice and sweet things to me how I mean a lot to him. Now he knows the "real" you. Your co-workers also know you now and they will be doing their best to keep away from you. Frankly I can't believe you haven't been fired. That false report to your boss, impacting the finances and career path of your co-worker, should be a fireable offense. What is it exactly that you want here? Just attention from strangers on this message board? I'm getting the impression that you're just wasting people's time. Why? Edited April 26, 2023 by NuevoYorko 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jessicat98 Posted April 26, 2023 Author Share Posted April 26, 2023 The company we work for a known for sweeping things under the rug. Link to post Share on other sites
mark clemson Posted April 26, 2023 Share Posted April 26, 2023 (edited) On 4/23/2023 at 12:33 PM, Jessicat98 said: I can’t make things right though. Going by your initial post - to put things very plainly you used and manipulated this guy, accepted his kindness, and then stabbed him in the back. At work and by lying no less. To be quite honest, it would be hard to imagine anyone with an ounce of common sense or self-esteem wanting anything more to do with you. At least not the way you currently behave. Do him a favor and let him go. Then work through your drug addiction and your tendencies to exploit others' kindness and be vindictive over trivial matters. Once you've gotten yourself to a place where you can be a safe partner for others, THEN look for someone else, whose trust and kindness won't just end up getting them hurt. Edited April 26, 2023 by mark clemson Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jessicat98 Posted April 26, 2023 Author Share Posted April 26, 2023 17 minutes ago, mark clemson said: Going by your initial post - to put things very plainly you used and manipulated this guy, accepted his kindness, and then stabbed him in the back. At work and by lying no less. To be quite honest, it would be hard to imagine anyone with an ounce of common sense or self-esteem wanting anything more to do with you. At least not the way you currently behave. Do him a favor and let him go. Then work through your drug addiction and your tendencies to exploit others' kindness and be vindictive over trivial matters. Once you've gotten yourself to a place where you can be a safe partner for others, THEN look for someone else, whose trust and kindness won't just end up getting them hurt. Because I feel bad for hurting him I should have treated him better. I am going to try and apologise. Link to post Share on other sites
Alpacalia Posted April 26, 2023 Share Posted April 26, 2023 You let it be. Life is sometimes about admitting you make bad decisions and accepting them. Life sometimes involves accepting that you hurt, harm, are bad, etc. Life sometimes entails realizing you shouldn't approach someone because you hurt them. Recognize your role and your actions in it. Own what you did, and hopefully feel remorse for it. You accept these things and decide how to deal with them; will you change your behavior or stay the same? But you don't drag the past back in. That's part of the consequences of cruelty. Victims owe nothing to perpetrators. Be a better person in the future and leave people alone when you hurt them. If they want to contact you, they will on their own accord. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
NuevoYorko Posted April 27, 2023 Share Posted April 27, 2023 Leave the guy alone and quit beating this dead horse. I mean, this horse is deader than a doornail. I can smell it from here. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mark clemson Posted April 27, 2023 Share Posted April 27, 2023 (edited) You can apologize, but it's not likely to do much besides generate more "drama". Don't expect much forgiveness after hurting the guy's career prospects. Your workspace sounds somewhat dysfunctional with all this "who's talking to who" and getting bosses involved, but I suppose some are. Don't just move on from him. Work on yourself so you CAN move on without creating another trainwreck situation for someone who wants to date you. Honestly, your whole story seems to indicate significant dysfunction and the emotional and career-damaging drama that sometimes goes along with it. There is something to be said for the people who have a "policy" to not date in their workplace. Edited April 27, 2023 by mark clemson 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jessicat98 Posted April 30, 2023 Author Share Posted April 30, 2023 I he has now raised a grievance against his manager saying he didn’t get a chance to talk and has all the conversations on tape even footage of his manager punching the wall ranting slamming the desk his manager got escorted off site on Friday. The thing is HR want a meeting with me on Tuesday when we go back I’m scared. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted April 30, 2023 Share Posted April 30, 2023 10 minutes ago, Jessicat98 said: The thing is HR want a meeting with me on Tuesday when we go back I’m scared. You are probably going to be fired for your role in this nonsense. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jessicat98 Posted April 30, 2023 Author Share Posted April 30, 2023 6 minutes ago, ExpatInItaly said: You are probably going to be fired for your role in this nonsense. I know I think I will lose my job and I think his manager will also for ranting and threatening behaviour. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted April 30, 2023 Share Posted April 30, 2023 At this point you need to be worried about yourself instead of the manager because you're the one who started all of this. It's time to start looking for another job. Link to post Share on other sites
NuevoYorko Posted April 30, 2023 Share Posted April 30, 2023 Hm. So now you're responsible for this poor guy's loss of a promotion and / or raise, and also the manager's possible loss of a job? You're really on a roll! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jessicat98 Posted April 30, 2023 Author Share Posted April 30, 2023 30 minutes ago, NuevoYorko said: Hm. So now you're responsible for this poor guy's loss of a promotion and / or raise, and also the manager's possible loss of a job? You're really on a roll! The manager caused it himself by ranting and slamming the table hitting the wall (I didn't know this happened until the union told me). But I feel guilty about my colleague. Link to post Share on other sites
NuevoYorko Posted April 30, 2023 Share Posted April 30, 2023 6 hours ago, Jessicat98 said: The manager caused it himself by ranting and slamming the table hitting the wall (I didn't know this happened until the union told me). But I feel guilty about my colleague. If you'd just mind your own business and stop messing around, none of this would be happening at your workplace at all. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted April 30, 2023 Share Posted April 30, 2023 (edited) 6 hours ago, Jessicat98 said: The manager caused it himself by ranting and slamming the table hitting the wall (I didn't know this happened until the union told me). But I feel guilty about my colleague. It may be dangerous for you to go back to work at this point because of all the griveances surrounding you. Maybe you should just quit already. Why was the manager ranting and slamming a table against the wall? What was it you said that caused that reaction? Edited April 30, 2023 by stillafool Link to post Share on other sites
JTSW Posted May 2, 2023 Share Posted May 2, 2023 On 4/30/2023 at 5:28 PM, Jessicat98 said: The manager caused it himself No, you are the one that caused everything that is going down at the office. You should be the one to get fired. Link to post Share on other sites
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