Jessicat98 Posted April 22, 2023 Posted April 22, 2023 This guy from work likes me (He really opened up to me from his heart) I feel bad as I let him down, he would say sweet things he would buy me things. I had to stay over night in hospital he was the only one who came to see me. He even picked up my medication for me. He helped me get off the smoking/drug habit he also got me a job there. I asked him to take me to the xmas party (I cancelled on him) I told him i was sick but i went around a friends house and had the drugs. He found out and said he is disappointed so I reported him to his boss who told him not to talk to me. So i reported him for not talking to me he just avoids me.
stillafool Posted April 22, 2023 Posted April 22, 2023 Why would his boss care if he doesn't want to talk to you?
Wiseman2 Posted April 22, 2023 Posted April 22, 2023 1 hour ago, Jessicat98 said: I reported him to his boss who told him not to talk to me. i reported him for not talking to me he just avoids me. Tread careful with someone who got you a job. Do you have a BF outside of work?
MsJayne Posted April 22, 2023 Posted April 22, 2023 Hmm, you did the wrong thing. You can't expect people to do the right thing by you if you don't do the right thing by them. Perhaps you should just learn from the experience and look for another job and treat co-workers with respect, especially if they're people who show kindness towards you.
basil67 Posted April 22, 2023 Posted April 22, 2023 You need to tell the boss you lied and apologise for the trouble you caused. Then you need to tell your friend that you fixed it with the boss and apologise to him as well. Not just “I’m Sorry”, but a thoughtful apology. I’m surprised that you had to ask how to make things right 1
Author Jessicat98 Posted April 23, 2023 Author Posted April 23, 2023 10 hours ago, basil67 said: You need to tell the boss you lied and apologise for the trouble you caused. Then you need to tell your friend that you fixed it with the boss and apologise to him as well. Not just “I’m Sorry”, but a thoughtful apology. I’m surprised that you had to ask how to make things right My friend rejects everything he won’t talk to me. He is a sweet guy and I broke him.
Author Jessicat98 Posted April 23, 2023 Author Posted April 23, 2023 12 hours ago, Wiseman2 said: Tread careful with someone who got you a job. Do you have a BF outside of work? No I don’t have a BF. The guy wrote me a nice letter which I showed to my colleagues and all the nice messages. Which I regret as colleagues are gossiping.
basil67 Posted April 23, 2023 Posted April 23, 2023 2 hours ago, Jessicat98 said: My friend rejects everything he won’t talk to me. He is a sweet guy and I broke him. Have you told his boss the truth yet? Have you given a sincere apology to your friend? 1
Author Jessicat98 Posted April 23, 2023 Author Posted April 23, 2023 11 minutes ago, basil67 said: Have you told his boss the truth yet? Have you given a sincere apology to your friend? He won’t talk to me. I won’t see him until Monday. I made a choice and now I have consequences I can’t reverse things.
basil67 Posted April 23, 2023 Posted April 23, 2023 4 minutes ago, Jessicat98 said: He won’t talk to me. I won’t see him until Monday. I made a choice and now I have consequences I can’t reverse things. Have you at least fixed things with his boss?
Author Jessicat98 Posted April 23, 2023 Author Posted April 23, 2023 1 minute ago, basil67 said: Have you at least fixed things with his boss? No I’m going to let things cool down for a few weeks.
Lotsgoingon Posted April 23, 2023 Posted April 23, 2023 Your first and only priority is to get off drugs and smoking. You cannot have a relationship with those habits-addictions--if I'm reading you correctly. Focus there and then you can actually carry through on apologies and follow through on promises. And then you can talk to him. 1
Author Jessicat98 Posted April 23, 2023 Author Posted April 23, 2023 7 minutes ago, Lotsgoingon said: Your first and only priority is to get off drugs and smoking. You cannot have a relationship with those habits-addictions--if I'm reading you correctly. Focus there and then you can actually carry through on apologies and follow through on promises. And then you can talk to him. He won’t speak though and he avoids me at work.
Wiseman2 Posted April 23, 2023 Posted April 23, 2023 1 minute ago, Jessicat98 said: He won’t speak though and he avoids me at work. He's doing the right thing. He's not reporting you so it's best to leave him alone. Focus on your sobriety and keeping your job. 1
stillafool Posted April 23, 2023 Posted April 23, 2023 4 hours ago, Jessicat98 said: No I’m going to let things cool down for a few weeks. Why? His boss needs to know the truth immediately. You can wait to apologize but make things right with his boss. You might start looking for another job too. 2
Author Jessicat98 Posted April 23, 2023 Author Posted April 23, 2023 7 minutes ago, stillafool said: Why? His boss needs to know the truth immediately. You can wait to apologize but make things right with his boss. You might start looking for another job too. His boss can’t do anything his boss speaking to him has already cost him his bonus. I’ve lost a decent man through my silliness the day after we were supposed to go to the party I messaged him asking how was his weekend. (At the time he didn’t know I was at a friends)
ExpatInItaly Posted April 23, 2023 Posted April 23, 2023 17 minutes ago, Jessicat98 said: His boss can’t do anything his boss speaking to him has already cost him his bonus. What kind of weird workplace is this? It seems more than a little strange that a boss would run interference in employees' personal lives.
Author Jessicat98 Posted April 23, 2023 Author Posted April 23, 2023 6 minutes ago, ExpatInItaly said: What kind of weird workplace is this? It seems more than a little strange that a boss would run interference in employees' personal lives. We work the same place different departments. All the employees are gossiping about me.
stillafool Posted April 23, 2023 Posted April 23, 2023 1 hour ago, Jessicat98 said: . All the employees are gossiping about me. This is why you need to quit and get another job. You've caused too much drama. Don't do that on a new job. Keep to yourself and just do your work. This guy is no longer interested in you so forget about an apology. Just make things right with his boss.
Author Jessicat98 Posted April 23, 2023 Author Posted April 23, 2023 1 minute ago, stillafool said: This is why you need to quit and get another job. You've caused too much drama. Don't do that on a new job. Keep to yourself and just do your work. This guy is no longer interested in you so forget about an apology. Just make things right with his boss. I can’t make things right though. If I tell his boss he still has the mark on his file. They can’t take the mark off his file they can’t give him his bonus because of the mark on his file.
stillafool Posted April 23, 2023 Posted April 23, 2023 10 minutes ago, Jessicat98 said: I can’t make things right though. If I tell his boss he still has the mark on his file. They can’t take the mark off his file they can’t give him his bonus because of the mark on his file. It doesn't matter. You need to tell his boss the truth, mark or not, bonus or not. 2
Author Jessicat98 Posted April 23, 2023 Author Posted April 23, 2023 9 minutes ago, stillafool said: It doesn't matter. You need to tell his boss the truth, mark or not, bonus or not. Then he will raise a grievance to HR about his boss to HR.
ExpatInItaly Posted April 23, 2023 Posted April 23, 2023 9 minutes ago, Jessicat98 said: Then he will raise a grievance to HR about his boss to HR. Huh? That doesn't make sense, sorry. You go to his boss and confess what you have done. If anyone goes to HR, it will be about you. 1
Wiseman2 Posted April 23, 2023 Posted April 23, 2023 3 hours ago, Jessicat98 said: His boss can’t do anything his boss speaking to him has already cost him his bonus. Why are you trying to destroy this person?
Author Jessicat98 Posted April 23, 2023 Author Posted April 23, 2023 41 minutes ago, ExpatInItaly said: Huh? That doesn't make sense, sorry. You go to his boss and confess what you have done. If anyone goes to HR, it will be about you. I’m trying to say is he will want the mark taken off his file and his bonus as he us innocent. 1
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