ChrisPbacon Posted April 3, 2023 Share Posted April 3, 2023 (edited) My gf babysits this guys kid before she started babysitting his kid the guy would always message her sexual things [ ]. She would never put him in his place she would just ignore it or say lol. When she started babysitting his kid she kept it from me I only found out cus I seen a message in her phone. When I found out she said he doesn't talk like that anymore and will respect our relationship. So at the beginning of winter she got new winter tires and told me her dad got them...but 2 weeks ago I found out it was really that guy that got her them..he also bought her one of thous tile things so she don't lose her keys..and just recently has been asking if I have fixed her exhaust in her car yet and saying he will pay to get it fixed if I don't.. is this right?? Should I be concerned about something more there with him and her..I just don't know and it's eating at me Edited April 4, 2023 by a LoveShack.org Moderator graphic content Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted April 3, 2023 Share Posted April 3, 2023 19 minutes ago, ChrisPbacon said: guy would always message her sexual things like "come sit on my face" or "let's get hotle and f*** Ditch ur bf" . I seen a message in her phone. How long have you been dating? How old is she? How well do you know her? Is this her regular employment? How recent are these messages? If she's sexting this guy, rethink your relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ChrisPbacon Posted April 3, 2023 Author Share Posted April 3, 2023 We have been together for 2 years almost 3..I've never caught her saying anything sexual to him and haven't seen him say anything sexual since she started watching his kid..the only thing is she lied to me about him buying her winter tiers and didn't tell me about him buying her the GPS tile thing for her keys. And also didn't tell me he has been offering to fix her car...iv tried telling her he still wants her and is just waiting for his chance to slide in..that's why he's buying her stuff trying to milk it Link to post Share on other sites
Acacia98 Posted April 3, 2023 Share Posted April 3, 2023 Honestly, the fact that she continued communicating with him after receiving those sexual messages and the fact that she agreed to babysit for him... things are already looking suspect. That's someone who's choosing to put herself in a position where the boundaries of your relationship will be violated. Then she accepts the babysitting job and accepts gifts from him and lies to you about it and then she allows him to talk disrespectfully about you. Do yourself a favor and close this chapter. You don't need evidence that they're having sex in order to end things. She is already disrespecting your relationship. She knows that. I believe she would not be happy if you were doing the same to her. That is enough reason to walk. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
JTSW Posted April 3, 2023 Share Posted April 3, 2023 She clearly enjoys the attention and the gifts. I agree that after the sexually explicit texts from him she should have shut it down. But she didn't. She enabled it by babysitting and allowing him to to do things for her that a bf does. She is disrespecting your relationship. You are right to be worried. Everything about this is wrong. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Alpacalia Posted April 3, 2023 Share Posted April 3, 2023 It is concerning that your girlfriend's babysitting employer has been speaking to her in a disrespectful manner. Additionally, it is worrisome that he has made sexual comments, given her gifts, offered to pay for car repairs, and has monitored her whereabouts with a GPS tile tracker. How old is she and why has she not ended her working relationship with him and blocked him? Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted April 3, 2023 Share Posted April 3, 2023 4 hours ago, ChrisPbacon said: haven't seen him say anything sexual since she started watching his kid.. since she started watching his kid.. Is this a paid position? How long has she been watching his children and how long have you been going through her phone? Does she have a regular income producing job? Are you concerned it's a sugar daddy arrangement? How old is she? Does she live at home? Link to post Share on other sites
Mrin Posted April 3, 2023 Share Posted April 3, 2023 At it's most benign interpretation this screams massive boundary issues on the part of your girlfriend. The fact that she allows it to continue and has made it murkier by babysitting his kids is a bright red flag IMHO. In my experience - life is too short to be in relationships with people with massive boundary issues. Just imagine if the roles were reversed and you were entangled in these sorts of shenanigans with a single woman who is behaving like this guy is to her. Gross. If I were you I'm not even sure I would bother with an ultimatum. The fact that she can't defend her relationship with you is worrisome to the core. Any other less benign interpretation of what's going on is a full stop oh hell no. But you got to do what you got to do man. Best of luck! Mrin Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted April 3, 2023 Share Posted April 3, 2023 Yes. It sounds like he's giving her money for favors. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted April 4, 2023 Share Posted April 4, 2023 22 hours ago, ChrisPbacon said: Should I be concerned about something more there with him and her.. Yes. Sorry. Your girlfriend is not who you thought she was. Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted April 4, 2023 Share Posted April 4, 2023 She lied to you several times....that should be enough to cut ties. Even if she's not doing him "favors" she a user. What she is doing is totally not kool. Link to post Share on other sites
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