Coworker -

[soulseek]

I don’t know if I’m being sensitive or not,  but I have this conworker who has me feeling indifferent. We are both in our early 30s. I was in a position above her (leading the team), for about 6 months and since then she has been promoted to my equal until June. Prior to her promotion, she would ask me a ton of questions about meetings she wasn’t invited to, asked me questions about how long I’d been in my position, and would try and lead team meetings when we met but changing the topic, or by suggesting we use the “meeting time” to get caught up on individual tasks. I do have two years less experience with the company, but feel that I initially landed the job due to the dept of my experience. 
 

At lunch, she would ask nosy questions about my personal life, makes comments about another co worker not having friends and how it is sad that they need to use online apps to make friends. I don’t have a huge social circle, and this was hurtful. Maybe it was underhanded since she follows me on social media. Since she has joined the team, she speaks over top of me, and sometimes others. She speaks very loud, is confident, but often doesn’t let others speak. Now that we are leading the team together, she has the same mindset of using team time to get caught up on individual work tasks. Often meetings are a waste of time in her mind. I am very much a rule follower, while she’s the risk taker/ smooth talker. She’s made comments to others about how I work much harder than her. 

I don’t know how to proceed with this, because at times it feels toxic, and i believe it has impacted my confidence and leading performance. 

[JTSW]

Do you have a HR department and someone there you can speak to about this?

She's your equal but she's acting like she's your boss.

She likes the thrill of the power over people.

Speak to someone higher up before she gets worse.

[Cheeksoft]

Looks like she tryna take over your job or possition by doing all that day one.....

Could be jealousy or a dirty way she use to get promotions and stuff.

Either way maybe talk about it with your boss. And let him know how you are at your best. Like leading on your own or so. Maybe they can put her somewhere else.

And when people come along to just keep ask ask ask, dont answer, ask them same question and keep ask them back .

And at work be more business like. Less personal. Coworkers dont need your FB. 

Unless its a very good coworker that you clicked with.

[Chhoww]

Support the idea about HR department if there is no other way to fix things with her

[Wiseman2]

On 3/18/2023 at 1:23 PM, soulseek said:

  she follows me on social media. 

Go through your social media and reset all your privacy settings. You can mute, unfriend or block people who annoy you. This way you'll only have to deal with her at work and not allow boundaries to be crossed by allowing access to your personal life.