HE is super busy, works for 14 hours daily . last week he called me suddenly and said that he cant be with me and he went to meet his family and things changed.

[LynneVicious]

55 minutes ago, Priyanka said:

I am a busy person with many hobbies and lot of things to do in life. It is just that the few months have made me almost crazy, am not able to cope up and hence posted here on this forum. I am extremely hurt , pained and insulted by all the drama this guy caused in my life. I want to teach him a lesson, I dont care what you all think about it. I was here asking a simple question not for suggestions. My question that puzzles me is why is started sending me GM messages every day when he never did ever earlier. If you can guess that answer, respond. Otherwise please ignore my post.

Op 

You speak like you are a victim in this. You want to essentially trap him and then report him to lose his job? You’re hurt. Sounds like you fell for this guy, although you’re in denial about it. And you were flattered. But then he rejected you so you can’t handle the rejection and would rather he burn than understand that you had an equal part in this and refuse to move on. 

[poppyfields]

8 hours ago, Priyanka said:

Yes, if possible I want to teach that man a lesson. If not possible, then I will let him send me GM messages all his life or till he gets bored. Im not blocking him

[If you ask him]  It's doubtful you would receive a truthful response anyway.  It's wasted energy. 

I think he gets off on emotionally and mentally messing with you - that's his Game.

DO NOT REACT.  Sorry for yelling. 

But do not play his game, I cannot state this strongly enough. 

I think he may still be interested but it's a sick twisted interest. 

If you want to "get back at him" or "teach him a lesson" IGNORE him.

Ignoring is one of best ways of teaching someone you no longer give a rat's ass, you are indifferent to their attempts to mess with you. 

Thus you flip the script and now THEY are the one feeling crazy, wondering why there's no reaction from you!  Why you're ignoring.

See how that works?

I won't share my story but I've been through it myself.  

Ignore, ignore. Ignore, do not play their game, do NOT react. 

Flip the script OP, it's quite empowering. 

My advice is go for a run, do yoga, get calm.

When he sends another message, chuckle to yourself at the absurdity of all this and how he is still trying to get your attention. 

Pathetic if you ask me.  Sick.

Pay it no mind, ignore ignore ignore and go about your life.

You're better than this OP, stronger.  Rise above the insanity. 

Good luck. 

Edited December 19, 2022 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
argumentative

[Priyanka]

3 hours ago, poppyfields said:

....  It's doubtful you would receive a truthful response anyway.  It's wasted energy. 

I think he gets off on emotionally and mentally messing with you - that's his Game.

DO NOT REACT.  Sorry for yelling. 

But do not play his game, I cannot state this strongly enough. 

I think he may still be interested but it's a sick twisted interest. 

If you want to "get back at him" or "teach him a lesson" IGNORE him.

Ignoring is one of best ways of teaching someone you no longer give a rat's ass, you are indifferent to their attempts to mess with you. 

Thus you flip the script and now THEY are the one feeling crazy, wondering why there's no reaction from you!  Why you're ignoring.

See how that works?

I won't share my story but I've been through it myself.  

Ignore, ignore. Ignore, do not play their game, do NOT react. 

Flip the script OP, it's quite empowering. 

My advice is go for a run, do yoga, get calm.

When he sends another message, chuckle to yourself at the absurdity of all this and how he is still trying to get your attention. 

Pathetic if you ask me. 

Pay it no mind, ignore ignore ignore and go about your life.

You're better than this OP, rise above the insanity. 

Good luck. 

Thanks so much , makes so much sense. So suddenly !

Edited December 19, 2022 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
edit quote

[glows]

21 minutes ago, Priyanka said:

Strange no one knows answer to my question but are hell bent on judging me because that is easy to do. Still waiting for some one to actually get what I am asking here. 

Well, that’s again quite funny because you’re judging this man as well and wanting to teach him a lesson. 

Multiple people have told you to block him. Actually I think most have. That’s the equivalent of ignoring someone. You keep asking the same question over and over and get the same answers packaged in different ways, some you like and some you don’t like. Same q, same a.

[stillafool]

33 minutes ago, Priyanka said:

Strange no one knows answer to my question but are hell bent on judging me because that is easy to do. Still waiting for some one to actually get what I am asking here. 

Of course no one here knows the answer to your questions because we don't have a crystal ball or read minds.  Maybe you need a psychic for what you're asking.

[LynneVicious]

In all seriousness, how could any of us know what his intentions are? Does it really matter though?

Lets say he wants you for sex: you’re married and are not interested. 

Let’s say he wants to be friends. You’re married and do not want to be friends. 

Let’s say he’s in love with you. You’re married. 

lets say he is playing some stupid game. You’re married and do t want to play games. 

See how it doesn’t matter anyway?

Edited December 19, 2022 by LynneVicious

[ExpatInItaly]

2 hours ago, Priyanka said:

Strange no one knows answer to my question

How would strangers on the internet know this man's intentions? 

 

[shellzbellz83]

14 hours ago, Priyanka said:

Perhaps.

Thanks, wasnt looking for suggestions but to help me with a guess of his current intentions. But I do know you guys mean well, so thanks again.

I personally think he views you as a wealthy woman who is prepared to spoil him with gifts and wants to keep the lines of communication open for that reason. The fact that he says you can't have a friendship but that you CAN leave him gifts says a lot.

Either way, you are playing with fire here because your ego is bruised by his rejection.

[BaileyB]

4 hours ago, Priyanka said:

My husband obviously doesnt like me talking to him.  He thinks Im being foolish, irresponsible. But still he wants to support me in teaching this chef a lesson.

There is literally nothing you could do to “teach him a lesson.” He has walked away, he does not care. You can not hurt him.

[poppyfields]

On 12/18/2022 at 10:06 AM, mark clemson said:

It's pretty clear he is a "game player". These sorts of folks go hot and cold and it messes with your mind. He can't just let you go because he experiences it as a form of rejection (or perhaps some other reason), but these things are his psychological issues to deal with.

I agree with @mark clemson about this^.   It's rather clear to me as well.   

I  mean to go from very suddenly ending your "friendship" or "situationship" (however one wishes to define) without any reason or explanation, saying "I hope you understand," over and over, is hurtful and confusing enough (even if just a friendship). 

To now suddenly sending you cryptic and ambiguous "good morning" messages, I DO think there has to be some sort of interest there even if that interest is sick and twisted otherwise he wouldn't bother sending anything at all.  He would be indifferent.

OP, I think it's human nature to want to seek some level of understanding when stuff like this happens.  It's so easy for others to say it doesn't matter and they're right perhaps it doesn't but realizing that won't make it any less confusing and painful.  I totally get that.

And when a man (or woman if roles were reversed) sends these types of mixed or double message, it's more than likely there is some sort of conflict happening within HIM which translates to extreme confusion for the recipient (in this case you). 

Which takes me back to my previous post.   Whatever is going on with him, whether he's conflicted and unaware of it OR he's intentionally messing with you for some sick twisted reason, pay it no mind, it's HIS problem and as such, it's in your best interests to ignore.

You could also block but I personally think ignoring is more effective as blocking (to many people) is an emotional response which if I had to render a guess, is what he's after.

Indifference should be your goal.  And recognizing what a confused, conflicted or sick, twisted person/player he is and rising above it.

At the end of the day, it doesn't matter which is it, what matters is that you don't allow it to affect you and continue living your life in peace and happiness.

 

 

Edited December 19, 2022 by poppyfields