HE is super busy, works for 14 hours daily . last week he called me suddenly and said that he cant be with me and he went to meet his family and things changed.

[JTSW]

5 hours ago, Priyanka said:

So please dont say I should block him. I wont. I want to see how he will play this game and I really want to give him back . use the same words he used to me on phone.

So you want to play petty games at the expense of your husband?

That's very cold OP.

[ExpatInItaly]

Priyanka, you sound very lonely and bored. 

What do you do in your free time? Have you got friends? A social life? 

[Priyanka]

2 hours ago, JTSW said:

You have answered your own question here.

He completely lost interest but you can't let go.

Nothing about his behaviour was professional in any way and I think he realised that.

He is now just being polite and you are reading too much into it.

If you want to know why he still sends messages then you will have to ask him.

None of us here have the answer to that.

I think you need to forget about this guy because he's obviously not wasting his time worrying about you.

Start concentrating on your poor husband.

Being polite for the past 17 days daily sending me gm, good evening messages? Why? Why should he polite to me anymore? He already said thanks twice for the gifts. Also he never sent such messages ever in these 3 months. Now which chef sends his guest such messages daily after saying he doesnt want any friendship with her and also she has to send messages only for special ocassions. Why is HE sending me GM when there is no special occasion? Oh, being polite?

[Priyanka]

1 hour ago, ExpatInItaly said:

Priyanka, you sound very lonely and bored. 

What do you do in your free time? Have you got friends? A social life? 

Im busy with my work the whole day. I have many hobbies, I do have friends, not many. I teach mathematics to the street kids daily and then do my household work, do painting and workout too. I cook for my hubby twice a day and do yoga as well. I hardly have free time. Im not lonely at all. I love my alone time a lot. This guy entered my life and created chaos by taking advantage of my admiration for him and made me feel like I have approached him. Im no way going back to be his friend now. I have no interest now. But I do want to see how long he will keep sending me these messages because IM not going to add anything more to what he sends. I just copy paste those messages back to him. So let him get bored of that. My confusion is why is he sending messages suddenly after he wanted to disconnect, after he ordered me to send messages only on special occasions and after he said he can ne only a host to me. Hope you understand what I want NOW  - to know why he is doing this. Thats it. I know what I should do from now. Im no longer stupid. But yes, I DO WANT TO GIVE BACK TO HIM IF EVER I GET A CHANCE BUT IM NOT SURE OF THAT TOO. but Im not blocking him. I asked you guys to guess his intentions now because Im not able to guess. 

[JTSW]

5 minutes ago, Priyanka said:

Being polite for the past 17 days daily sending me gm, good evening messages? Why? Why should he polite to me anymore? He already said thanks twice for the gifts. Also he never sent such messages ever in these 3 months. Now which chef sends his guest such messages daily after saying he doesnt want any friendship with her and also she has to send messages only for special ocassions. Why is HE sending me GM when there is no special occasion? Oh, being polite?

ASK HIM!

We don't know his mind.

HE IS NOT INTERESTED IN YOU!

Time to let this ridiculousness go. 

[ExpatInItaly]

4 minutes ago, Priyanka said:

I have no interest now.

Well, that is clearly not true. You are very interested, and he knows it too. 

5 minutes ago, Priyanka said:

I asked you guys to guess his intentions now because Im not able to guess

Neither are we. He seems sleezy and I personally don't associate with sleezy men. I have much better things to do with my time. 

[Priyanka]

1 minute ago, JTSW said:

ASK HIM!

We don't know his mind.

HE IS NOT INTERESTED IN YOU!

Time to let this ridiculousness go. 

You said you dont know his mind. Then how are you saying that he is not interested in me ? How do you know this for sure? A man who is not interessted in me should say thanks to me once for the gifts and shut his mouth forever. No contact. Where is the need? A man who wanted me to message him only on special ocassions should let me message him first. A man who wants to keep his job safe should cut off all contact with me and start acting like a gentleman. A man who respects me as a guest should block me on whats app and keep in touch only with my husband.  A man who is not interested in me SHOULD NOT BE SENDING ME ANY good morning, good evening messages regularly...every single day which he never did even when we were in that so-called relationship.

If you have no answers to these , dont say that you know that he is not interested in me. Say that you dont know. I also dont know. Thats why Im asking people here if anyone can guess what is going on in his mind now. Not to preach me what is right or wrong. I know what I did is wrong. I know what Im doing now is useless, wrong too. But that is not the point. You need not respond if you dont like my post.

[Priyanka]

1 minute ago, ExpatInItaly said:

Well, that is clearly not true. You are very interested, and he knows it too. 

Neither are we. He seems sleezy and I personally don't associate with sleezy men. I have much better things to do with my time. 

Yes now Im interested to give back to him. I am actually happy that this fellow is sending me GM messages which now increased to good evening too. Im happy that this fellow who ruined my peace of mind , preached me as if I was the one who started all this is now sending me messages on his own. What I dont know is why. Why initiate a new friendship when he wasnt ready for friendship ?

[ExpatInItaly]

Just now, Priyanka said:

Why initiate a new friendship when he wasnt ready for friendship ?

Ask him. 

[Priyanka]

2 hours ago, JTSW said:

So you want to play petty games at the expense of your husband?

That's very cold OP.

Yes, if possible I want to teach that man a lesson. If not possible, then I will let him send me GM messages all his life or till he gets bored. Im not blocking him

[Priyanka]

2 minutes ago, ExpatInItaly said:

Ask him. 

I will never. Im asking people here , if they want/can guess, they will. Otherwise they need not respond ot my posts. I didnot force you to give your opinion. Everyone here who doesnot like to respond NEED NOT respond or even read my posts. There are many threads more interesting and require real help. Please go there. Thanks.

[ExpatInItaly]

2 minutes ago, Priyanka said:

Im asking people here , if they want/can guess, they will. Otherwise they need not respond ot my posts. I didnot force you to give your opinion.

Perhaps you need to read your thread more carefully. 

I already said that he's probably chatting with another woman but keeping you on the backburner just in case. That was my explanation, since you seemed to have missed it. 

 Keep in mind it's a public forum and you don't get to tell people how to post. 

[JTSW]

1 hour ago, Priyanka said:

Then how are you saying that he is not interested in me ? How do you know this for sure?

Because he actually told you he is not interested in you. 

1 hour ago, Priyanka said:

Thats why Im asking people here if anyone can guess what is going on in his mind now.

The only person that knows his mind is him.

No-one here can answer these questions for you, only he can, so again, ASK HIM.

1 hour ago, Priyanka said:

Yes, if possible I want to teach that man a lesson. If not possible, then I will let him send me GM messages all his life or till he gets bored. Im not blocking him

It won't last long. He will stop, so what is your plan then? Harass and beg again?

You will never get what you are looking for this way.

The only place this will get you is divorced.

Your husband won't put up with this forever.

 

I have noticed you have started to become rude and aggressive to people here because you do not like the answers you are given.

Everyone here is giving you advice on the right thing to do, but you are point blank ignoring it.

Are you looking for someone to say 'yes, he's sending you GM messages because he's very interested in you'?

That is not going to happen OP because he told you himself that he is not interested in you romantically or as friends.

You just refuse to accept it. 

Edited December 19, 2022 by JTSW

[JTSW]

1 hour ago, Priyanka said:

Why initiate a new friendship when he wasnt ready for friendship ?

Ask him.

No-one here can guess what's on his mind, as many of us keep telling you.

Only HE knows his mind.

[Priyanka]

11 minutes ago, JTSW said:

Because he actually told you he is not interested in you. 

The only person that knows his mind is him.

No-one here can answer these questions for you, only he can, so again, ASK HIM.

It won't last long. He will stop, so what is your plan then? Harass and beg again?

You will never get what you are looking for this way.

The only place this will get you is divorced.

Your husband won't put up with this forever.

 

I have noticed you have started to become rude and aggressive to people here because you do not like the answers you are given.

Everyone here is giving you advice on the right thing to do, but you are point blank ignoring it.

Are you looking for someone to say 'yes, he's sending you GM messages because he's very interested in you'?

That is not going to happen OP because he told you himself that he is not interested in you romantically or as friends.

You just refuse to accept it. 

I accept it that is why Im confused why he is sending me these messages.  I dont want suggestions. I want to know his intentions. Since you dont know and you said you will never know, I respect that.

Also this chef told me many things. that he will stay friends with me forever, never stop talking to me, that he will call me often and I should call him often. Many many things. But he never meant any of them. So I dont understand how you took his words as sacrosanct when all he is doing is suddenly sending these messages which he never did earlier. Im not rude to anyone here. I just asked you not to bother to reply to me if you dont want to. You are rude to me, judging me. I dont mind. Please continue.

[JTSW]

10 minutes ago, Priyanka said:

I accept it that is why Im confused why he is sending me these messages.  I dont want suggestions. I want to know his intentions. Since you dont know and you said you will never know, I respect that.

Also this chef told me many things. that he will stay friends with me forever, never stop talking to me, that he will call me often and I should call him often. Many many things. But he never meant any of them. So I dont understand how you took his words as sacrosanct when all he is doing is suddenly sending these messages which he never did earlier. Im not rude to anyone here. I just asked you not to bother to reply to me if you dont want to. You are rude to me, judging me. I dont mind. Please continue.

No-one is judging you OP.

Just giving you advice on the right thing to do. 

In one of your comments you quoted a conversation you had with him where he told you he wasn't interested in you, or in a friendship.

I really feel for you because he messed with your head and heart. 

He still is messing with your head and heart.

I don't want you to lose anything in your life because of this guy.

He's totally not worth it.

Edited December 19, 2022 by JTSW

[Wiseman2]

1 hour ago, Priyanka said:

. If not possible, then I will let him send me GM messages all his life or till he gets bored. Im not blocking him

Have you ever replied to these messages? Does he have read receipt on his phone and knows you're reading them? Are you still watching his cooking videos?

There are many ways someone can tell you're tracking them or reading their communication.

If he is not communicating anything but nonsense daily texts, it could be to keep you as a fan. Sort of like spam advertising.

[stillafool]

1 hour ago, Priyanka said:

I didnot force you to give your opinion.

What is your husband's opinion as to why the chef does it?

[Priyanka]

48 minutes ago, stillafool said:

What is your husband's opinion as to why the chef does it?

My husband says he is a player. His so-called rejecting the relationship is just trying to test me and send me in a panic mode. Hubby says that he is a predator, he must have done it already with many females and succeeded and so this bravery. My husband feels that this man is amazing pervert who crossed all his ethical boundaries and dared to even speak personally to a guests wife. A guest who has been staying in the same hotel for over 2 years and brought so much business to the hotel, has good relationship with GM of the hotel . This shows the addiction of this man to sex and females. My hubby wanted to complain to the management so that he gets fired and many females can be saved too. probably helpless young colleagues of his. Husband feels that this man doesnot give a crap about friendship with me, all he wants was sex.

The man's behaviour on that day also was to test me if Im still interested because I stopped messaging him for over 25 days. So this man wanted to see if I moved on. He was just testing me and also someone must have complained about this guy to the management so he must have got a warning or something so he called me to perhaps record my call or whatever. He knows that Im always available to him at his beck and call. Husband feels that to the chef, I have been a sex object and nothing else. 

I didnot want my husband to complain to the management because I dont want him to lose his job. Im equally wrong in letting him continue so I have no rights to complain against him. I only wish he could have treated me with little more respect and let me stay as his fan/friend whatever. 

My hubby now feels that this guy will slowly restart with GM messages and slowly ask for favours again. he says the chef could have denied the gifts, blocked me on whats app and needed not have do anything with me anymore because he wasnot interested in anything anymore from the day he made the call. Husband feels that to this man i am a conquest and he wont stop till he attains it and I have given him total assurance with my behaviour, fandom that his job wont be under any risk. The sudden GM, GE messages ( which were never made earlier by him) suggests that this guy wants to stay in touch with me and when I move to his city next month he would again start talking to me.

But I dont agree with my husband at all because he doesnt know how rudely and firmly that man spoke about ending it all.  My husband doesnot know how egoistic, rude this man is and actually I trust this man when he said he wanted to end all this. My slight doubt is that he may want to stay friends with me and so the messages. However, Im not ready for any friendship fi this guy initiates it. 

[glows]

Why would you want to be friends with someone you deem egoistic and rude? And who cares what he wants if you think he’s egoistic and rude? Do you feel that this adds substance or meaning in your life? I’m puzzled what you’re getting out of this at all. Why is it not squashed in your mind? 

You appear to live a semi-charmed and retired lifestyle traveling abroad and enjoying the advantages of your husband’s work. Why not take up hobbies and fill your mind up with other worthy things? Why is this still an issue about what this cheating, weirdo chef wants? I’m assuming he’s married, by the way, because you keep referencing his family. 

Edited December 19, 2022 by glows

[BaileyB]

14 minutes ago, Priyanka said:

However, Im not ready for any friendship fi this guy initiates it. 

If that was true, we wouldn’t be on page 3 and you wouldn’t still be asking why he continues to contact you. You would have long ago blocked him and moved on with your life…
 

14 minutes ago, Priyanka said:

he doesnt know how rudely and firmly that man spoke about ending it all.  My husband doesnot know how egoistic, rude this man is

Again, begs the question - why have you not blocked this man from contacting you? Do you normally invite ride and egotistic men into your life?

I’m not curious to know what your husband thinks of this man, I’m more curious to know what your husband thinks of his wife’s behavior? How does he feel about the fact that you haven’t blocked this man from contacting you?

Edited December 19, 2022 by BaileyB

[stillafool]

29 minutes ago, Priyanka said:

My hubby now feels that this guy will slowly restart with GM messages and slowly ask for favours again.

I thought you said this guy was messaging you every morning and every night?  Now we find out he's not messaging you anymore at all.

What has your husband TOLD YOU to do about this man?

Edited December 19, 2022 by stillafool

[Priyanka]

14 minutes ago, BaileyB said:

If that was true, we wouldn’t be on page 3 and you wouldn’t still be asking why he continues to contact you. You would have long ago blocked him and moved on with your life…
 

Again, begs the question - why have you not blocked this man from contacting you? Do you normally invite ride and egotistic men into your life?

I’m not curious to know what your husband thinks of this man, I’m more curious to know what your husband thinks of his wife’s behavior? How does he feel about the fact that you haven’t blocked this man from contacting you?

My husband obviously doesnt like me talking to him.  He thinks Im being foolish, irresponsible. But still he wants to support me in teaching this chef a lesson. yes I want to do that , I dont know how. I wont block him, perhaps make him say something with which I will take the matter to the management or something. 

[Priyanka]

18 minutes ago, glows said:

Why would you want to be friends with someone you deem egoistic and rude? And who cares what he wants if you think he’s egoistic and rude? Do you feel that this adds substance or meaning in your life? I’m puzzled what you’re getting out of this at all. Why is it not squashed in your mind? 

You appear to live a semi-charmed and retired lifestyle traveling abroad and enjoying the advantages of your husband’s work. Why not take up hobbies and fill your mind up with other worthy things? Why is this still an issue about what this cheating, weirdo chef wants? I’m assuming he’s married, by the way, because you keep referencing his family. 

I am a busy person with many hobbies and lot of things to do in life. It is just that the few months have made me almost crazy, am not able to cope up and hence posted here on this forum. I am extremely hurt , pained and insulted by all the drama this guy caused in my life. I want to teach him a lesson, I dont care what you all think about it. I was here asking a simple question not for suggestions. My question that puzzles me is why is started sending me GM messages every day when he never did ever earlier. If you can guess that answer, respond. Otherwise please ignore my post.

[Priyanka]

3 minutes ago, stillafool said:

I thought you said this guy was messaging you every morning and every night? 

What has your husband TOLD YOU to do about this man?

He actually wants me to block this guy once and for all.

But he knows how pained I am and how badly I wanted to give this chef back. So asked me to wait and watch how this guy takes this further.