Karsue Posted October 21, 2022 Share Posted October 21, 2022 My husband has had numerous online affairs. He stopped for awhile. Now he is back at it. I grew up very religious. I don't know if I could forgive myself if I had one. I just feel angry and hurt. Thinking about if I want to do the same? Link to post Share on other sites
heartwhole2 Posted October 21, 2022 Share Posted October 21, 2022 I'm big on my personal integrity. I just want to be a person I can feel good about. So I couldn't do it, either. I remember after my husband's affair briefly toying with the idea of starting something up with my ex who always seems to pop in every few years being vaguely flirty. He'd just left a long term relationship to boot. But what stopped me was that it would just be an unhealthy, toxic mess. It wouldn't make me feel better for having been cheated on. I already know my ex would flirt with me if I wanted, or some other guy would. I don't need to prove that to myself. And if I tried to have an affair with someone, I'd just be offering them a self-serving waste of time that might take them away from relationships that could be fulfilling and transparent. We have one precious life. Spend it in ways that feed your soul and bless your loved ones. What are healthy ways you can deal with your feelings about your husband's affair? Why not put that energy into considering your true options, like divorce? Link to post Share on other sites
glows Posted October 21, 2022 Share Posted October 21, 2022 The other option is ceasing to be married to him rather than compromising your values. You disagree with what he’s doing. What is keeping you in a sham marriage like this? He does whatever he wants disregarding you or the way you feel and you are thinking of doing the same. Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted October 21, 2022 Share Posted October 21, 2022 (edited) 10 hours ago, Karsue said: Thinking about if I want to do the same? As Michelle Obama said, “when they go low, we go high.” There is nothing to be gained from lowering yourself to this level. It will only further contaminate the relationship, and that’s not something that I would personally want to do. I would much rather keep my dignity and file for divorce than have a revenge affair. Edited October 21, 2022 by BaileyB Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted October 21, 2022 Share Posted October 21, 2022 14 hours ago, Karsue said: My husband has had numerous online affairs. Now he is back at it. Thinking about if I want to do the same? Sorry this is going on. How old is he? How long have you been married? Do you have children? Is there a reason you can't divorce? Getting even won't help you, but you can open the relationship if you both want to chat with others. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Karsue Posted October 21, 2022 Author Share Posted October 21, 2022 He is 51. We have been together 31 years. We have 2 special needs children with autism who are both online school. It would be hard to get a divorce, take care of them, and work. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Karsue Posted October 21, 2022 Author Share Posted October 21, 2022 4 hours ago, BaileyB said: As Michelle Obama said, “when they go low, we go high.” There is nothing to be gained from lowering yourself to this level. It will only further contaminate the relationship, and that’s not something that I would personally want to do. I would much rather keep my dignity and file for divorce than have a revenge affair. I am so frustrated and hurt it is hard to take the high road. I guess I just needed the encouragement to do the right thing. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts