anona37 Posted October 14, 2022 Share Posted October 14, 2022 I met a really nice woman when I was travelling. She works in the bar I go to regularly. She kept coming over to chat etc. Anyway long story short. My flight was early and they got packed so I left without exchanging details. I travel there a lot though. Went back this week because honestly I would rather ask in person. But just my luck she's off sick. Anyway I know a lot of the people in the bar and have most of them on Instagram. Obviously she was quite easy to find on there because of rhe people I know there but I'm wondering if you would reach it via dm on there. I'm not used to social media type scenarios. I'm more of a direct person but not sure if to reach it or not or wait till I go over again? Link to post Share on other sites
glows Posted October 14, 2022 Share Posted October 14, 2022 She works there so be mindful of this being her workplace. She probably gets hit on and is followed by many guys. Coming over to chat or being friendly is how she makes tips. What’s the point of adding these people on IG? Do you spend time with them outside of their working hours? They don’t seem like friends. They’re just people you’re paying for a service if they’re from a bar you frequent. Link to post Share on other sites
Author anona37 Posted October 14, 2022 Author Share Posted October 14, 2022 Yup i get that, but yeah there is being friendly and then being overly chatty, and yes i do go out with the other people outside of work, sometimes during the day sometimes to clubs after, it really depends on if any of them have a day off when i'm over, the other week me and one of the other girls went shopping and then to the aquarium as she'd never been, i have most of them on IG as they seem to like to tag everyone when we are outside, mainly i text on whatsapp i'm not really into the whole social media stuff or to the group snapchat when i'm over. Also no one tips in there its not really something they do over there. And once the seaon is over some are coming over to visit and i'm visitng some others once they all go home. Her mate that was over was the one that she was single when we were chatting and everytime she came over he left us to chat and disappeared Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted October 15, 2022 Share Posted October 15, 2022 22 hours ago, anona37 said: wait till I go over again? In person is better. If you don't live in the area and just travel there often, are you hoping to date or just be friends on social media? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
glows Posted October 15, 2022 Share Posted October 15, 2022 22 hours ago, anona37 said: And once the seaon is over some are coming over to visit and i'm visitng some others once they all go home. Is this a resort town with a lot of foreign workers on work visas? I’d do this in person and see her there. Why push so hard to stay in contact with a potential romantic interest if she’s not local? Or if you’re not local to the area? What is it you’re looking for? Are you married or attached or aren’t able to date locally? I’m wondering what’s the end goal of this or is it the excitement of the pursuit you’re after? Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted October 16, 2022 Share Posted October 16, 2022 (edited) I too am wondering if she's local to you. If she's interested, are you prepared to up sticks and do her seasons in this resort area and then live with her in her regular place off season? Edited October 16, 2022 by basil67 Link to post Share on other sites
Author anona37 Posted October 16, 2022 Author Share Posted October 16, 2022 We don't actually live that far away from each other, maybe 50-60 miles, so once she goes home it really wouldn't be that difficult, plus i have my own place if things do go right, i know she still lives at home as she's trying to decide what she wants to do, she goes too two different countries each year and does a season in each and has done for around 5 years or so. I've been over to there about 16 times so far this year, and a few weeks ago was the 1st time i met her, she used to work in another bar thats part of the same company but since a lot have already gone home and most are shutting down shes now there, i went back last week and she was off sick. going back this week too, wasn't planned just happened because it was cheap, and its not seen as out of the orinary by the rest of the staff either, as the beginning of the season i went over 5 times in 5 weeks. I tried the DM route and heard crickets, but as i said not used to social media at all really. Anyway asked a pal and turns out its because i need to follow first and have an actual pic so she knows who i was. done that and followed back straight away, i'm guessing she will never get the original message either as i was told most don't accept them when theres no pic. And i'm not quite sure what i'm actually after if i'm honest just know we got on really well, just trying to decide whether to ask her out before i fly again in 3 days or wait until i'm over and do it in person. Would prefer it in person but at the same time it gives her a chance if she says yes to arrange time as they work most evenings and the season is coming to an end in 3 weeks Link to post Share on other sites
glows Posted October 16, 2022 Share Posted October 16, 2022 Do it in person then. Trust that you both will make time for one another. Good of you to keep an open mind but dating someone long distance raises all kinds of red flags. You haven’t yet answered my question - are you single or married/attached? Why does a person working half in one place one year and half in another appeal to you? I’m not getting the sense that she has any real direction in her life or roots from the little you say about her. Ask her out in person and see how it goes. If the season ends anyway you’ll find a way to meet while she’s at her parents’. And if that’s a problem I’d rethink this through. You’re essentially thinking of getting caught up with someone who doesn’t quite seem as independent or fluid/flexible as you are if you actually are single. Link to post Share on other sites
Author anona37 Posted October 16, 2022 Author Share Posted October 16, 2022 Yup single, and yup i dont think she has quite worked out what she wants in life tbh. And tbh i never actually looked at her that way when i was there it was just a chat with a new member of staff, it was when i came back i was like i'm an idiot. Think i will send a DM just to make sure she is at work and not still off sick then go from there. Some of the staff there are strange so kinda wanna keep it quite without everyone knowing if something does happen because dont want it affecting her work Link to post Share on other sites
glows Posted October 17, 2022 Share Posted October 17, 2022 That’s fine but leave it if she doesn’t reply. It means she’s not interested. I’d rethink what’s going on here and why any of this seems enjoyable at all. Are you lonely or in transition traveling a lot? Either way, there’s nothing wrong with finding company along the way. Just don’t burn yourself out on go-nowhere relationships or difficult LDRs with no end in sight. Let us know how it goes. Link to post Share on other sites
Author anona37 Posted October 17, 2022 Author Share Posted October 17, 2022 Replied last night, sounds like its on, but time will tell, didn't wanna over text for something i can do in person Link to post Share on other sites
Author anona37 Posted October 18, 2022 Author Share Posted October 18, 2022 100% on got a date 2mora. Thanks everyone for your input helps talk it out sometimes Link to post Share on other sites
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