My husband made it unnecessarily difficult to visit my sick daughter

[Gotmesomehorses]

My daughter is 16 and lives with her father (my ex). She turned up sick on Monday and was still sick on Wednesday.  I asked him if I could go visit her and he said yes if she agrees to a visit that’s fine but you have to stay on the porch.  Don’t go into the house.

 

I called my daughter to see if she’d meet me on the porch and she said no she still feels too sick to get out of bed and stand in the cold.

 

Who can blame her?  I wouldn’t want to stand outside on a cold porch in the middle of a bad chest cold and sore throat.  I’m just so sad, I feel like a defeated invisible parent. 
 

I’m trying to remember there are some things I can’t control but this one kills me.  I’m trying to remember to take it one day at a time but it’s not working. 
 I just want to hug her and tell her I hope she feels better but I can’t.  

[stillafool]

Do you and your ex have shared custody of your daughter?  Why wouldn't he let you go into the house?

[Gotmesomehorses]

He has physical custody.  I don’t know why he won’t let me in the house.

[glows]

1 hour ago, Gotmesomehorses said:

I’m just so sad, I feel like a defeated invisible parent. 
 

She’ll bounce back in no time. What stood out here is you’re feeling quite low and helpless. 

You mentioned she lives with her father. How often do you see or visit? 

What’s your history with her father? Why did you split up?

[Will am I]

23 hours ago, Gotmesomehorses said:

I asked him if I could go visit her and he said yes if she agrees to a visit that’s fine but you have to stay on the porch.  Don’t go into the house.

 

This kind of childish behaviour is what people do if they are angry with someone and not feeling their voice has been heard. Was the divorce your idea, his idea or was there a consensus?