what's going on here?

[Moreesleep]

This is long but I will try and make it short.. So I (37m) was dating my girlfriend (26f) for 3 1/2 months got along great and all that very supportive and all but a few things that stood out.. the first one was family not here (back in her home country) it was ok for me to be seen.. however her cousin in NJ she tried to hide me but she figured something was up when she was giving me a tour of the house.. when she didn't have her bluetooth headset on she wanted me to put myself on mute.. skip forward a month we planned a 5 day vacation to Miami beach.. it was amazing had a great time and all.. So the same cousin that she toured me around the home the one she didn't want me to see yet or whatever.. I ended up meeting her and she was nice (I don't get the big deal) ok fast forward a few months she had an ex that I kind of told her she needs to do something about (he was spam texting and calling) It took a hell of a lot of convincing to change her phone number  (she has a lot of job contacts) She resisted but she finally did it and told me that it was not as bad as she thought. Anyways all was good.. then until one day she was like I kinda need my space (I just woke up) I was confused and she just said she wanted her space like she wanted to break up but even she said I don't know but I think you know what I mean. She told me to take my stuff out and just go back home... On the weekend she told me to come her to her place and I asked her what's up and she's like I just wanted to spend time with you before you go back to work. mind you she used to send me a lot of emoji's and I love you's to me and I noticed it slowly stopping.. I told her I sensed that she didn't really speak on that.

 

So A few times I tried to kiss her she tried to pull away and give me her cheek but she kissed on the lips anyways.. I got upset because I sent a text at 7:10 am and she didn't respond (sent 2 more texts) until 6:10 pm asking me what's up.. and that is when I noticed she liked a post on IG 2 min after it was posted but she was unable to say anything to me.. and her response was "I just didn't want to talk to you" I went off on her how it was rude.. she laughed and I hung up on her (All a facetime call)

 

So for her she blocked my phone number and blocked me on IG and she did that for 1 Week and she sent me a text on this past Saturday saying "call me when you get the time" I called but I forgot she said she was going out to the west coast so the time difference. Anyways she wanted to talk about the break up (why a week?) And why we can't be together TBH it sounded like a bunch of nothing she was more so looking to see where I was at and telling me that the women in the family they have so much love to give that they don't have any extra for the person they are dating and she's like I don't want that to happen to you... (say what?) I let her speak since that was one of the things she hated was me not letting her say everything she had to say. after she said all that it was just like awkward pauses. She said she would contact me later which she did.. she started sending me photos of her and her younger siblings shes been facetiming a lot now the longest we had since the whole "breakup" was a 5 hour facetime call and it was her with her siblings she referred to me as "friend" to them which another thing is when her earbud died she wanted me to mute myself.. if I'm a friend why do I need to mute myself? She again toured me around the home and whatnot. She was going to lay down to take a nap and keep facetime on but that didn't happen.

Now she's facetiming from the pool and before she hung up she stuck her tongue out at me.. she's sent me photos of her in her swimsuit she's changed into her swimsuit in the bathroom she called me last night a 25 second facetime call asking me what's up and just letting me know she was going back in the pool at night.. I was a little puzzled she seems to want to keep me involved.

IMHO it seems like she's unsure about the break up or shes just trying to make me feel a certain way? I noticed a pattern if she texts me and I don't respond almost 90% of the time she will facetime me.

 

I wont like I still love her we got along well but this is just confusing for me.

[S2B]

Don’t see her anymore.

if a gal needs space - that’s code for I want time to date another man.

if she doesn’t treat you as her one and only - she plans to see other guys = she is a time waster.

[ExpatInItaly]

My guy, you need to forget this woman. 

She is jerking you around and only comes to you when she wants attention. My guess is she's still too hung up on her ex and keeps you in her back pocket for whenever he's not giving her the time of day (and you would be naive to believe she didn't give him her new phone number) I would bet any money that's who she was really talking to when she wanted to hide you from her "cousin."

It's time to move on. You're not going to get a solid, mature relationship here. 

[S2B]

You’re an option to her.

find a gal that makes you her top priority.

[Wiseman2]

10 hours ago, Moreesleep said:

 I noticed a pattern if she texts me and I don't respond almost 90% of the time she will facetime me.

Sorry this happened. I would just delete and block someone like this from ALL your social media and messaging apps.

That way you can move forward without all this type of nonsense.

[glows]

15 hours ago, Moreesleep said:

This is long but I will try and make it short.. So I (37m) was dating my girlfriend (26f) for 3 1/2 months got along great and all that very supportive and all but a few things that stood out.. the first one was family not here (back in her home country) it was ok for me to be seen.. however her cousin in NJ she tried to hide me but she figured something was up when she was giving me a tour of the house.. when she didn't have her bluetooth headset on she wanted me to put myself on mute.. skip forward a month we planned a 5 day vacation to Miami beach.. it was amazing had a great time and all.. So the same cousin that she toured me around the home the one she didn't want me to see yet or whatever.. I ended up meeting her and she was nice (I don't get the big deal) ok fast forward a few months she had an ex that I kind of told her she needs to do something about (he was spam texting and calling) It took a hell of a lot of convincing to change her phone number  (she has a lot of job contacts) She resisted but she finally did it and told me that it was not as bad as she thought. Anyways all was good.. then until one day she was like I kinda need my space (I just woke up) I was confused and she just said she wanted her space like she wanted to break up but even she said I don't know but I think you know what I mean. She told me to take my stuff out and just go back home... On the weekend she told me to come her to her place and I asked her what's up and she's like I just wanted to spend time with you before you go back to work. mind you she used to send me a lot of emoji's and I love you's to me and I noticed it slowly stopping.. I told her I sensed that she didn't really speak on that.

 

So A few times I tried to kiss her she tried to pull away and give me her cheek but she kissed on the lips anyways.. I got upset because I sent a text at 7:10 am and she didn't respond (sent 2 more texts) until 6:10 pm asking me what's up.. and that is when I noticed she liked a post on IG 2 min after it was posted but she was unable to say anything to me.. and her response was "I just didn't want to talk to you" I went off on her how it was rude.. she laughed and I hung up on her (All a facetime call)

 

So for her she blocked my phone number and blocked me on IG and she did that for 1 Week and she sent me a text on this past Saturday saying "call me when you get the time" I called but I forgot she said she was going out to the west coast so the time difference. Anyways she wanted to talk about the break up (why a week?) And why we can't be together TBH it sounded like a bunch of nothing she was more so looking to see where I was at and telling me that the women in the family they have so much love to give that they don't have any extra for the person they are dating and she's like I don't want that to happen to you... (say what?) I let her speak since that was one of the things she hated was me not letting her say everything she had to say. after she said all that it was just like awkward pauses. She said she would contact me later which she did.. she started sending me photos of her and her younger siblings shes been facetiming a lot now the longest we had since the whole "breakup" was a 5 hour facetime call and it was her with her siblings she referred to me as "friend" to them which another thing is when her earbud died she wanted me to mute myself.. if I'm a friend why do I need to mute myself? She again toured me around the home and whatnot. She was going to lay down to take a nap and keep facetime on but that didn't happen.

Now she's facetiming from the pool and before she hung up she stuck her tongue out at me.. she's sent me photos of her in her swimsuit she's changed into her swimsuit in the bathroom she called me last night a 25 second facetime call asking me what's up and just letting me know she was going back in the pool at night.. I was a little puzzled she seems to want to keep me involved.

IMHO it seems like she's unsure about the break up or shes just trying to make me feel a certain way? I noticed a pattern if she texts me and I don't respond almost 90% of the time she will facetime me.

 

I wont like I still love her we got along well but this is just confusing for me.

She may be bored or just needs someone to give her attention every now and then. You know this didn’t work out and it’s not working. You’re not in a relationship with her so move on. 

[Moreesleep]

15 hours ago, ExpatInItaly said:

My guy, you need to forget this woman. 

She is jerking you around and only comes to you when she wants attention. My guess is she's still too hung up on her ex and keeps you in her back pocket for whenever he's not giving her the time of day (and you would be naive to believe she didn't give him her new phone number) I would bet any money that's who she was really talking to when she wanted to hide you from her "cousin."

It's time to move on. You're not going to get a solid, mature relationship here. 

Her cousin I met in person it's the closer family members (her mom and her step dad) the relationship didn't start off that way.. but it's always been hide the phone screen or mute myself type of thing.

[ExpatInItaly]

8 hours ago, Moreesleep said:

It's always been hide the phone screen or mute myself type of thing.

Right, and that should tell you that she is not being honest. I would imagine she's been talking to her ex some of those times. 

Why you ever put up with that, I can't fathom. You need to get away from her. 

Edited September 7, 2022 by ExpatInItaly

[Moreesleep]

I'm not sure why people pick apart the post and makes assumptions out of it.. when I say she hides the phone screen I'm talking about in a facetime call with me.. Obvious my face takes up the whole screen so only a tiny handful of people did she let know she was dating me.

 

I've seen her mom and her hobbies and to be honest it makes me a little nervous she's no BS which I can almost be sure why she was scared to bring me around.

[S2B]

You are being played.

have you ever given her money?